Chapter 49

WRITTEN IN THE STARS
49

CHRISTOPHER

It's starting to sink in now that I'm going to be someone's dad.and it's a good feeling man. I don't know but looking at the moment where we first saw our tiny baby, I'm feeling a bit different about this pregnancy stuff. Here I am, driving her back to my mother's house.

She's been quiet ever since, the doctor did explain that the hormones can get worse so I cannot get annoyed when she annoys me or something. We get to my mother's house and I drive in. I park the car and we jump off.

“Can we talk before you do your stuff?” I ask her before entering the house.

“I need some sleep first..” She says as we walk inside. I'm holding the images in my hand. I walk to the kitchen while she walks upstairs.

“You're back!” She says jumping off the high chair and rushing to me.

“Let me see..” She says taking the images from my hand, she's so excited. She sits down again flaring at them.

“Ohh she/he is so tiny bandla look at that little thing!” She says smiling while viewing the images.

“Nkanyezi this is so cute haa, how do you feel?” She asks, uhm..how do I feel? I shake my head and lean against the counter.

“I can't say how I'm feeling but everything feels unreal right now.” I say, who ever thought I'd ever be a dad? me?

“I know right? i mean this is your first baby and my first grandchild. You must be feeling emotional.” She says, I heave a sigh.

“I don't want you to say I'm doing this for the sake of the baby but.. I'm thinking of talking to Sbani and perhaps fix things.” I say, she gasps and glares at me smiling widely.

“Wait, are you serious right now?” She asks, I nod.

“I haven't made up my mind yet but yeah, I'm heading that route.” I say.

“And you know you have my full support, if you feel like the breakup thing isn't working for you then you know what to do my boy.” She says.

“Also ma, she needs to be on a specific eating routine. Her stress levels are high and the doctor fears that she might not be coping with the pregnancy.” I say.

“I think the breakup got to her hence she's been stressed and now she finds out that she's pregnant while she's not even dating the father of the baby. That's scary because you think of so many things, you're going to raise your baby alone and your baby daddy might possibly deny the baby.”  She says.

“Do you think she'd agree to attend therapy again?” I ask her.

“If she wants you to fix things as much as you want to then she'll opt for it. Otherwise i can't wait for you two to fix things, it hasn't been nice listening to her pray about you and ask God to give you a woman who will love you the way you deserve to be loved.” She says, I glare at her..she did?

“A bit shocking, I know.” She says, I heave a sigh.

“Can I sleep over? I desperately need to talk to her.” I say, she nods.

“But she sleeps in your room, will you sleep with her?” She asks.

“If she feels comfortable with that. So now please excuse me in this kitchen of yours. I want to make her something to eat for dinner..” I say.

“So now you're chasing me out of MY kitchen? haa Nkanyezi.” She says still looking at the images.

“Adrianna lands today, please ask Nkanyiso to go and pick her up from the airport.” She says, I nod.

“I'll do just that.” I say grabbing the apron and putting it on, normally I'd be shirtless but because this is my mother's house.

“Tomorrow is the family dinner and I was thinking of inviting Sbanisenkosi's parents..” She says, I glare at her. Does she want Sbanisenkosi's dad to kill me or sum?

“I'm terrified of her dad.” I say, she chuckles.

“You'll be fine, there's a baby that's bringing the two families together so we can't be living like strangers. We must get along and build a bond as well..” She says, I shrug.

“Your words, not mine.” I say taking out the pots, I'll make something simple for her. My mother has already walked out and I'm doing what I'm good at.. some grilled boerewors with roasted potatoes and steamed broccoli.
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SBANISENKOSI

I'm sweating so much and my heart is raising. I jump up from the bed breathing heavily. I don't know what's happening to me, I feel emotionally attacked. I jump out of the bed and run to the bathroom, I take off each and every clothing I have on and jump in the shower. I turn the cold water tap on and breathe out in relieve. I was being fried..

I lean against the wall letting the water hit me, I was sleeping just fine. I don't know what's happening to me. Once I calm down, I step out of the shower and wrap a towel around my body. I walk out of the bathroom and Christopher enters before I can take any step further.

“Oh I thought you were sleeping..” He says, I shake my head.

“I went to shower..” I say sitting on the bed and heaving a sigh.

“I'll be back...” He says walking out, I walk to the closet and lotion myself. Once I'm done, I wear my pajamas and walk to the balcony. Maybe the air out here will help..

I sit on the chair facing the view of the beautiful houses. I don't want to describe the emotions that traveled to my heart when we were doing the ultrasound thing. Reality hit me and I realized, girl is going to be a mother.

“Here's your food..” He says planting the tray on the table and sitting down. I glare at the plate.

“Not the broccoli..” I say frowning, I don't like it.

“Well you have to eat it, it's not that bad.” He says, I heave a sigh and bite the wors kancane.

“How'd you feel about the ultrasound?” He asks, I sigh.

“Emotional, having a baby was never a part of my goals so I got emotional. Life is evolving so quickly in such a short space of time and it's getting a bit too much for me.” I say, he nods.

“But I'm here for you, even with myself. I never put a baby in one of my plans so now, it's very overwhelming however, glaring at the ultrasound images got me feeling some type of way.” He says, I smile a bit.

“You're going to make a great father.” I say, he glares at me.

“Same goes for you, you're going to make an amazing mother without a doubt.” He says, I eat some of my food.

“Do you see us getting back together?” He asks, I stare at him and swallow my food.

“No because I haven't worked on myself as of yet.” I say, he said he can't be with me because of similar reasons of me not loving him enough and for not working on myself.

“What if I'd want to give us another try?” He asks again, I glare at him.

“You're the one who ended things Nkanyezi, why do you feel the need to want to be with me again?” I ask him.

“Is it because I'm now pregnant with your child and you're already picturing a perfect family of 3?” I ask him again, I can see him getting a bit annoyed but he's calming himself down.

“Why would you say something like that? you're acting as if I never loved you or something. You know I love you and I broke up with you for reasons you know.” He says.

“I haven't worked on myself, why do you have to come back now?” I ask him

“You're talking as it I left your life entirely.” He says. I shake my head and continue eating.

“I'm extending couple's therapy to you.” He says. I frown. 

“We're not a couple so why should we go to therapy together? so you can tell the therapist all my mistakes and paint yourself to be the good guy?” I ask him.

“You're unbelievable..” He says shaking his head.

“A pain in the a$$ but the love just keeps on growing, what have I gotten myself into?” He says, I keep quiet.

“When you broke up with me, I literally felt like there's nothing I'll ever live for. You just left and next thing you weren't answering your phone. I cried myself to sleep because of this heartbreak, because of my own mistakes I had to lose you. Do you know how guilty, broken and dead I felt? you made me doubt the years I spent working on myself but letting small things trigger me. You hurt me because I knew that i hurt you and I didn't deserve you. You're the only guy I ever fell for and the only guy who handled me with so much care and love.” I say, my tears shouldn't betray me.

“Maybe I'm meant to love you with all your flaws..” He says.

“But instead of loving them with all my flaws, you give up..who's supposed to love me?” I ask him.

“Can we work on...us, for our sake and for our baby's sake.” He asks.

“What if I make a mistake and you break up with me again? then what?” I ask him, I'm about to speak again but I feel my heart tightening and beating fast.

“Sbani..” My airway is closing..

It hurts..