Chapter 28

WRITTEN IN THE STARS
28

SBANISENKOSI

Because there's a jacuzzi here, I decided to put on my swimsuit and go inside it. It's in the evening and I'm looking at the stars while sipping on my apple juice waiting for Christopher to come with our dinner. Yeah, we're gonna have dinner in the jacuzzi.

“There are no mosquitoes right?” He asks walking towards the jacuzzi holding the tray. Oh he looks so hot, in his shorts exposing his abs. The tattoos man, the freaking tattoos.

“Nah they aren't any. Let me help you..” I say grabbing the tray from him. He steps inside of the jacuzzi and I place the tray besides us. I reposition and sit in between of his thighs.

“Want to feed you?” He asks, I nod and giggle. He made some chicken and pasta, I can literally smell it from here. He grabs the bowl and I decide to sit facing him because he needs to feed me.

“You're so cute..” He says, I smile and wait for him to feed me, I open my mouth and he feeds me the pasta.

“There's some freshly baked doughnuts waiting for you after this meal. Don't fill up your stomach.” He says, I nod.

“I love doughnuts. I'd love to have them..” I say chewing the pasta and the chicken. I think my man was a chef in his past life. There's no way.. I'm afraid to lose such a man.

“Did you cook for the girls you hooked up with?” I ask him, he laughs and shakes his head.

“Why would I want to cook for a one night stand? baby come on.” He says, I shrug.

“I don't know angithi mina so I'm just asking.” I say, he shakes his head and feeds me another portion.

“I'm past that, I'm foccused on you now. You and our relationship..” He says, I heave a sigh and take a sip of the apple juice.

“I have something I want to tell you..” I say, he places the bowl down and glares at me.

“What's going on? are you okay?” He asks, I nod.

“It's just something about my past that I need to tell you. From the age of 13...” I say.

“Okay? I'm listening..” He says, a huge sigh escapes my lips and I glare at him. Lord give me the strength.

“So, my parents were obviously rich. My dad owned companies and my mom was the head of something. I can't remember, I was the only girl and I was given everything I wanted to and needed. I didn't lack anything. My life was perfect in a way.” I say.

“I remember starting my period when I was 12 and I started having feelings I can't understand, hormones actually. I wanted things I knew I was too young for. Mbali and I attended the same primary because Luyanda was in high school and one day..I came across these grade 7's smoking something. Cutting it with something that looked like a bank card.” I say.

“Cocaine??”He asks, I nod.

“I don't know and when but I found myself having that. As much as Mbali and Luyanda tried to stop me. I lured them into having it and once we smoked it, we never stopped. I was the worst one because I smoked it at home, in the bathroom and in my bedroom. I became an addict and then we started drinking because they told us having drugs would go well with drinking a few cans of beer.” I say, I can see his face slowly changing.

“When Mbali and Luyanda got caught, they didn't sell me out so i continued. It went on and on, I couldn't survive without having drugs or drinking alcohol. As much as my parents tried helping me. I was out of control, I was only 13..” I say blocking my tears from coming out.

“I started dating this guy, a 20 year old guy and it took a week for that to break my virginity and forget me.” I say, I hear him heave a sigh. 

“Fast forward, I was in grade 10 and..I went to this other club with Mbali and Luyanda and to what seemed like my lucky day.. they needed strippers to dance for customers who are paying big money. I thought of that as my way to making my own personal money without my parents giving me an allowance every month.” I say shaking, he looks sideways before placing his hand over his forehead.

“I became a stripper and danced for old men, when I received my first R40K payment. The club owner told me of ways to make money apart from dancing for old married men. This other night, he told me to come to the room upstairs and..w..we had sèx. He paid me R50K for just sleeping with him and I saw this as an opportunity to make extra money. I made money by sleeping with married men, it came to a point where I even dated those men just for money. My parents stopped giving me an allowance as a way of punishing me but...i knew i had more money.” I say wiping off my tears.

“You slept with married and old men, danced for them for money? you even dated those old men? you were a drug addict?” He asks, I nod in shame. He jumps out of the water and walks off leaving me in tears.

I sit in the water for a while, I jump out and immediately throw up. This phase of my life makes me so sick, I'm sick of myself. I walk back inside covering my mouth and run to the bathroom. I vomit, tears leaving my eyes. He gave me a reaction I was expecting. Now he's going to leave me.

I brush my teeth once vomiting, that was a very dark time of my life and I'd do anything to rewind and start over.. I walk out of the bathroom and see him standing outside. Still in the bedroom .

I walk to him and open the sliding door, I step out and stand besides him. He's glaring at the stars.

“You're something else..” He says still looking at the stars.

“Even calling you loose would be an understatement, you're not normal.” He says as I feel my heart sinking.

“You know what's crazy? i still feel the same way i feel about you before you told me this disturbing shìt..” He says.

“How's a star in my life so different?” He asks, you know what..

“You told me your past, I told you mine. It's up to you if you're holding onto my past because I'm not.” I say walking back to the bedroom and throwing myself on the bed.

Tears leave my eyes, maybe..maybe he won't understand. I also don't understand, I'm trying to figure out why I didn't make different choices. Why I lured Mbali and Luyanda into this