Chapter 29

WRITTEN IN THE STARS
29

Christopher is still outside, unable to think properly. Not being able to have the courage to go inside. Listening to Sbani's cries, his heart is breaking. She told him her past, why is he being this way? he can't seem to understand himself. He looks at the stats, blocking tears that threaten to come out. 

“I shouldn't judge her right? I have my own flaws as well and she just told me hers. I love her still, It feels like I love her even more. The girl she just told me of in her past is not the girl I see right now. I see a woman who's independent and confident.” He says, wiping off his tears.

“If you truly love a person then you must know that everyone has a past, it's up to you if you want to stay or leave. She's not perfect, I'm not perfect either. We're both trying this relationship thing and so far, I'm happy. I'm happy with her and I love her.” He says heaving a sigh.

“If her name is written in the same stars I look at every night, why should I leave her? she's the woman i want to be with, for the rest of time if possible.” He says smiling a bit. He finally walks back into the bedroom and Sbani immediately stops crying. She wipes off her tears..

“Can we talk?” He asks sitting on the bed, Sbani sits up and wipes more of her tears. He glares at her and heaves a sigh.

“I'm not angry..” He says softly grabbing her hand.

“Infact, my respect for you has multiplied because you're such a strong woman who has gotten through so much.” He says kissing her hand.

“I'm not judging you, I'm just surprised but also..I don't want to look at the past and be like.. I don't want to date you because of your past, no I'm not like that. You managed to accept me as I was and I have no right to judge you, I'd be a fool if I judge you Sbanisenkosi. Not when my heart has been so full because of you. You make me happy and honestly, i don't have time to look at the past.” He says, making her heart skip a beat.

“I don't want you to cry because of me, I won't leave you. If I leave you then where will I get someone who loves me as much as you do? nowhere.” He says kissing her hand again.

“Ngiyak'thanda, I don't want anyone else..you're the one for me to be quite honest, this by far has been the relationship that most men would dream of, but I consider myself as lucky because my woman is strong and beautiful. She's hardworking and very sweet. I find myself very lucky, that you.. God's light are my person..” He says, she sniffs, her tears fall off.

“I thought you were going to leave me. I..I..I was so scared.” She says with her voice shaking. He shakes his head and pulls her closer.

“I'm not leaving you..” He says as she lays her head on his chest, she listens to his heartbeat increasing minute by minute.

“Thank you for being honest with me. I appreciate it, nothing changed..” He says reassuring her.

“It felt good coming clean, I'm sorry for taking so long to tell you. I thought it didn't matter but you need to be honest with your partner, be transparent for a healthier and successful relationship.” She says, he nods indicating that she's right.

“I need to show you something..” He says grabbing his other bag and unzipping it. He takes out a black journal and places it on the bed.

“What's this?” She asks him, he heaves a sigh and glares at the journal.

“I write..I write down my thoughts, my feelings and I write about you as well.” He says.

“You never told me you have a journal and that you write..” She says, he chuckles a bit.

“A man with tattoos all over his chest and arms with one side ear piercing writes? totally unbelievable right..” He says and he earns an adorable chuckle from her.

“Can I read it?” She asks tracing her hands all over it, on the front..it's written 'what's written in the stars'..

“Go on..” He says giving her permission, she heaves a sigh before opening the journal and coming across his neat and beautiful handwriting.

“September 4th, it was a Saturday yesterday and I went to this club called The Red Room. I had the craziest night but what's crazy and confusing was the woman I met. I laid my eyes on her while she was dancing and I could've sworn, something changed in me. When she came up to me, her presence shook me. I thought I was confident but I came nothing close to her.” She reads followed by a smile.

“She said her name was Sbanisenkosi and she had a tattoo written pussy in a very beautiful font and syle. I should've known, our names compliment each other. I'm a star, Nkanyezi and she is God's light or the light of God. I don't know...I can't seem to forget her after having that moment with her in the..well you know where..” She reads and giggles.

“September 7th, I met her again and we had that same moment we had at the club. I can't stay away from her, why am I struggling to forget her? I haven't felt like this ever. She's giving me the same energy that I'm giving her and that is just enough for me..” She reads and glares at him, remembering the time they met again thinking they'll never meet. She continues reading..

“September 14, I'm falling for her but being the person that I am. I don't want to hurt her, I want to love her and treat her right. My mother taught me that, she taught me how to treat a lady right but I think things turned sour when she passed away.” She reads and widens her eyes.

“Nkanyezi..” She whispers his name..

“Continue reading...” He tells her, she moves her attention back to the journal and continues reading

“I've been struggling with my past lately, the memories of my childhood, of losing my mom. They still haunt me, I thought I'd dealt with it all but the pain still hovers over me and it still feels like it's very fresh.” She reads and her lips tremble, does that mean?

“The woman my dad married is my stepmother, my mother passed away in a fire when I was 11 years old.” He says and Sbani glares at him in shock, he grabs the journal from her..

“The woman my dad married reminds me of my mother. She's kind and she loves my dad so much. Her cooking reminds me of my mother's cooking. I wish my mother was here but I also wish she's looking down on me and seeing how much I'm loved by my stepmother whom i take as my mother. I hope she's happy, I'm a man today and it's because of her.” He reads and turns the page.

“As much as my stepmother loves Sbanisenkosi, I know my late mother would've loved her as much as she does. Sbani is the type of woman I'd want to die for in some cases. I want to wake up next to this beautiful face everyday, I love her, more than words can say.” He reads and closes the journal.

Sbanisenkosi wraps her arms around him consoling him, she wipes off her own tears.

“You're a very strong man, physique wise and mentally so. I'm so so sorry for your loss.” She says.

“It's okay..” He says kissing her forehead. She cups his face and plants a kiss on his lips.

“I love you baby, thank you for being so open with me and allowing me into your heart.” She says. He smiles a bit and glares at her, commitment isn't so bad after all.