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UMNAKWETHU

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PHILANI

***after few minutes uMelo ekhala ezandleni zika Andile ngithe ngyasondela ngyamubamba ahlehle and i sigh..njengamanje inhliziyo yami ibuhlungu angazi ngizoqala ngaphi this is all because of ME
After some time ngezwa uMelo ekhuluma ethi ufuna behambe, kwamqukula lokho komfana bangena emotwini bahamba ,ngasala ngingazi ngenzenjani ikhanda lami Liyazula ngahlala phansi ema parkings ngancika kwimoto engingayazi trying to hold my tears koda ngahluleka**

Lady: Uhmm, excuse me sir ,uncike kwimoto yami

***I sniff..agobe wangithinta amahlombe nezwi lakhe elikhathazekile**

LADY: ingabe yonke into ikahle bhuti ?

Me: ngyaxolisa ngokuncika emotwini yakho (ngisukume) ,usuyosala kahle

**** Ngihambe ngyongena emotini yami ,ngibeke ikhanda kwi starring ,ngizwa nge nock kwi windi ,ngilehlise...ohh it's that lady***

LADY: im sorry for being forward kodwa ngyabona ukuthi udlula esikhathini esinzima ,mina ngiwu Nolwazi & pls take this card ungfonele mawudinga ukukhuluma I might help ,ngiwudokotela (therapist) ,usuyohamba kahle & trust me sir konke obhekene nakho njengamanje kuzolunga futhi kuzodlula

**** Nx ezongidakelwa umuntu la ,washaya isishwapha sakhe wayongena kwi Polo lakhe elibomvu ,I looked at her business card ngalilahla kwi passengers sit ,this is going to be a loooong night angazi nokuthi ngiqalephi .....ngadumisa imoto ngaya endlini ebihlala u Melo ngaziphosa embhedeni & kunuka yena ,i smell sakhe namanje asakashintshi .....ngcabange till i doze off**

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MELO

*** I Feel numb ,bengithule endleleni ebheke emzini wa Andile ,angazi ngizizwe kanjani i have many questions.... I'm having mixed emotions, ingane yami angilitholanga nethuba lokuyibamba ,ngiyincelise ,ngiyishintshe ipampers....my heart is hurting kanti u Andile naye is getting i message yokuthi angifuni ukukhuluma ,ngizoqala ngaphi nje ngikhulume i HATE YOU PHILANI ,I FUCKEN HATE YOU !!! Angazi noma ngimkholwe noma uzama izindlela zokuthi ngingaxhumani nje naye ngokuqamba amanga , kodwa usengaqamba amanga ngokushona kwengane? Kugijima imicabango eminingi ekhanda lami nezinyembezi ziyaziqathakela ,....ngiphaphama u Andile esengiqukula imoto useyipake e garage ,wayongibeka ekamerweni embhedeni***

Andile:uhm, Mama angazi ngzoqala ngaphi Kodwa ngyaxolisa sthandwa sam

Me:....

Andile: ngikulethele ukudla?

Me:...

**** Aphume abuye nokudla ,kodwa angiboni ukuthi ngzodla ,angincenge ngidle only two spoons****

Andile:okay,ngsayogeza

*** Angene e bathroom,ngisale ngicabanga & then all of a sudden a load scream comes out of my mouth, uAndile aqhamuke egijima emanzi ***

Andile: Melo don't do this sthandwa sam ngyakucela uzophathwa ikhanda mama ukukhala

Me: KUBUHLUNGU ANDILE ,NGYAZAMA KODWA NGINEMIBUZO EMININGI EKHANDA KUB.....

**** Aze kimi angi hug.e ,engithulise ,ngilale esifubeni sakhe angi brush.e umhlane ngizame ukwehlisa umoya****

Andile: konke kuzolunga Melokuhle ngyakuthembisa ,uPhilani uzozikhokhela zonke izinto kanye nezinhlungu asekuzwise zona

**** I feel pain in his voice ngicabanga ukuthi uyakhala naye as i feel a drop of a tear ekhanda lami ,athathe amanzi & pills eceleni kombhede angiphuzike ,he keeps brushing my back as I drift into lala land & he keeps saying ...."konke kuzolunga mama ,ngyakuthembisa angeke usazizwa izinhlungu empilwen yakho ,ngyakuthanda Melo & I'm here for you , forever & always......" ****

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NOMKHOSI

***I've been locked up in this cell...kuyanuka and kuncolile..amehlo ami abuhlungu ngoba akaze ngilale..kukhona nje abanye ekade belwa izolo...kufike i guard livile bese lingbiza ngekhanda..ngsukume and follow him...mhlampe ngizophuma la! I'm sure uthando ufonele ummeli wami...ngingene kwi room only to find syabonga umngan ka philani who is a lawyer..mhh uphilani uzongkhipha la i just know it..ngihlale phansi***

Me:Sya I'm so glad to see you..uphi uphilani? Nizongkhipha la?

Sya:You're in deep shit nomkhosi

Me:Uchaze ukuthini?

Sya:Kusho ukuthi akekho ozokwazi ukuksiza..usazohlala nje la ejele njengo mbulali

Me:Akaze ngimbulale!!

Sya:Ama finger print akho atholakele lapha nomkhosi...yazi angikaze ngacabanga ukuthi ungenza into enjena

Me:She tried to kill me syabonga!

Sya:Wena wavele wambulala?

Me:Ngcela ubize uphilani ukuze azongkhipha lana

Sya:Uphilani akafune lutho ezomhlanganisa nawe nomkhosi...uwushevu nje womuntu osadinga ukuqaqeka ekhanda..ukhohlakele after umelokuhle ekusindisa ekuyisa esbhedlela wena usaqamba amanga umosha impilo yakhe

Me:Uzongyala la syabonga? Awuzile ukuzongikhipha?! Uphi uphilai??!

***Asukume***

Sya:Usazohlala wena la so get comfortable

Me:Cha!! Cha!! Syabonga!! Sya pls!!

***Aphume ahambe ngsukume ngimlandela angbambe amaphoyisa***

Police:Uyaphi?! Awuyindawo wena ikhaya lakho elisha leli!

Me:No pls No!!!

***Bengibambe beyongfaka ejele and i just cry...this cannot be happening!!***

"Eyy umsindo wena!"

Me:Phuma kimi wena!

"Ukhuluma nami kanjalo?"

***Aze kimi angbambe ngezinwele***

"Ucabanga ukuthi isewotela la hhe?! ngizokunyathela mina!"

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2DAYS LATER

MELOKUHLE

***I'm in my mother's arms..sobbing like i have never before..she's holding me tight iskibha sami size samanzi izinyembezi...uzodumo is holding me from behind sobbing...inhliziyo yami ibuhlungu...isimo engibathole kuso!! I hate philani with everything in me..umndeni wami had to suffer ngenxa yakhe!***

Me:It's okay mama I'm here

Mah:Melokuhle

Me:Imina mama imina..

***Ngimsule izinyembezi and kiss her forehead..bese ngyapheduka and hug zodumo...she lost weight and uyambona ukuthi akekho right emotionally..***

Me:It's okay sis..

***Nglande amanzi ngibaphuzise...kungene umalume and my heart drops even more...intshebe igcwele ubuso bakhe amehlo akhe abomvu..he is a mess..***

Zulani:Yini engathi ngbona umelokuhle nje

***Esho ebambelela ngescabha you can tell that he's drunk ngoba akakwazi ngisho ukuma***

Me:Malume..what happened to you?

Zulani:Mshana wami?? Mshana ubuyile? Hhau nkosyami mshana!!

***Ngsukume and hug him...amehlo akhe agcwele izinyembezi***

Zulani:Besengizitshela ukuthi sishiywe usis saphinde salahlwa nguwe

Me:Ngikhona malume..

Zodumo:What happened to you sis?

***Ngihlale phansi ngibatshele yonkinto...uma Ngiqeda they are sobbing..umalume umile ulokhu enikina ikhanda ngathi usevele wa sober***

Mah:Benghleli ngazi ukuthi lomfana is not the one..

Me:I know..wawuhlezi ungikhuza mama kodwa ngingakulaleli..now my child is gone..angikaze ngilithole nethuba lokuthi ngiyincelise or ngiyibambe...i don't even know what she look like

***I just cry in my mother's arms...angthulise...namanje angkholwa ukuthi uphilani engenza lento kimi***

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***Sisekhishini syapheka sno zodumo..umama uhleli kusofa ubuka izindaba beno malume...umalume ulokhu ecula kancane umama uyacikeka..i just smile and shake my head...Kukhale ifoni yami u andile***

Zodumo:Andile?

Me:Akyena lona omcabangayo

***Ngibambe ifoni ngiphume***

Me:Andile

Andile:Sawbona sondiya...uhambe kahle kodwa?

Me:Yes..usale kahle?

Andile:Yebo mah..i will join you later kunezinto ekumele ngizenze

Me:I know..

Andile:Ngikukhumbule

***I just smile***

Andile:Lendlu i empty ngaphandle kwakho

Me:Phephisa

***He chuckles..kume imoto ngaphandle kuqathake uphilani nabazali bakhe...i smile sami sivele siphele fast***

Me:I'll call you back andile

Andile:Is everything okay?

Me:Yes..sizokhuluma

***Ngivale ifoni ngibabuke bezongena kwi gate...into engcikayo ukuthi sisahlala khona klendlu esayinikezwa uphilani..i have to buy a house..***

Mazungu:Sanbona makoti

***I just nod***

Zungu:Singangena?

***Ngihambe phambili bengene..umalume asukume fast***

Zulani:Hhey bafunani laba la??!

Zungu:Sanbona ekhaya...

***Behlale phansi***

Zulani:Ubani othe hlalani phansi?!

Me:Malume it's okay..

***Ngihlale phansi across them..uphilani akakwazi ngisho ukungbuka emehlweni..***

Zungu:Syazi ukuthi nisezinhlungwini ngalokho sizoniduduza..ukusishiya kwa nkanyezi kusithusile nathi

Mazungu:Ngyazi melokuhle ukuthi kubuhlungu njengo mama wakhe be-

Me:Uyazi??

***I just laugh***

Me:Uyabazi ubuhlungu engibhekene nabo??! Ingane yakho ingiphuce ingane yami ngingakayibambi ng- ngingakayincelisi...angazi noma unamehlo ami or ka philani...ingane yenu ingilimazile and i will never heal!!

Mazungu:Syaxolisa ngalokho makoti si-

Me:Ningangibizi mina ngomakoti!! nithule nathini hhe??! Nithule nathini uphilani efika nengane encane!! Ingane encane yedwa umawayo engekho!! Uyazi ukuthi nginganibeka icala?!

Phila:Melokuhle

Me:Thula wena!! Angfune kuzwa lutho ephuma emlomeni wakho!! Nibulele ingane yami nonke la!! Wena mazungu uthi ungumama kodwa awuzubuzi ukuthi njengoba ingane encane kanje ingekho nomawayo mina ngizizwa kanjani..manje senizofika la nizenza abantu abamsulwa nizongbiza ngomakoti..umakoti wani lowo wamasimba?!

Mazungu:Maye!

***Eshaya izandla***

Phila:Melokuhle ukhuluma kanjani nabazali bami?!

Me:Wena ungowokugcina ongaphawula! Uhlulekile philani! Uhlulekile ukungivikela!! Wahlulwa ngisho ukungethemba! One misunderstanding ngihanjiswa ko melika ngyohlala ngedwa njenge sboshwa ekbeni ngikhulelwe..i went through alot with that pregnancy ungekho wena!! Now my child is dead and suddenly usufuna ukubakhona!!

Phila:Ngyazi ukuthi ngikulumazile sthandwa sami kodwa-

Me:Awazi lutho philani!!! Awnandaba namuntu wena ngaphandle kwamfazi wakho!! Ngfisa engathi ngamlalela umama coz she was right about everything...eyami ingane izongcwabwa kwa buthelezi not kwa zungu lapha abayibulele khona!!

Phila:Angeke kwenzeke lokho! Unkanyezi was my child too

Me:Aww ngampela?! the same child that you killed?!

Phila:Melokuhle ngyakucela...

***Ngsukume***

Me:Sqedile la...ohh and very soon sizophuma endlini yakho ngoba vele uzolokhu utheleka la nomndeni wakho...

Phila:Melokuhle!

***Ngivule umnyango ngime..basukume bephume..uphilani ame angbuke emehlweni***

Phila:Kusayimi mashenge..Kusayimi umanzini wakho..ngyacela ungangivaleli ngaphandle..ngyazi ngenze amaphutha amaningi ngakulimaza kodwa kusayimi

***Esho izinyembezi zehla..ahambe and i close the door..ngibeke izandla ebusweni***

Zodumo:Melo

***Ngishaye umnyango while screaming and kicking***

Zulani:Mshana uzozilimaza..kuzolunga mshana

***Angbambe and i just sob..****

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