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UMNAKWETHU
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PHILANI

***Ngthole i call ephuthumayo ethi unomkhosi was in a car accident...inhliziyo yami ishaya ngamandla...i'm heading to the hospital right now ngihamba no zolani***

Zola:Fanele ngabe ungvumele ukuthi ngi drive ngob indlla o speed ngayo angeke sfike esbhedlela!

Me:Fuck i can't lose them bafo

Zola:Stop overthinking ba right..yehlisa umoya ndoda

***Finally sfike esbhedlela ngehle ngokshesha heading inside...***

Me:Unkoskazi wami okhulelwe was hit by a car uphi??

Nurse:use theatre sir pls calm down

Me:Fuck!!

***Nghlale phansi ngibambe ikhanda***

Zola:Bafo...

Me:I can't lose her and my child zolani!

Zola:Odokotela abakasho lutho so you need to calm the fuck down!

***Kukhale ifoni yami ngiyphendule coz umashenge***

Me:Mashenge

Melo:Manzini bengi...wait...are you okay?

***I sigh***

Me:Ngsesbhedlela ukhosi ushayiswe imoto

Melo:Ohh my god! is she okay?

Me:Odokotela abakasitsheli lutho

Melo:Ngyeza manje...

Me:No asikho isdingo sokuthi uze mashenge...umndeni wakho uyakudinga njengamanje that's why you can't leave them...

Melo:She's gonna be fine manzini...

***I just nod bese ngyasukuma pacing up and down...kuqhamuke udokotela asukume no zolani***

Me:Doc how's my wife and child?

Doc:Mr zungu unkoskazi wakho sikwazile ukumsiza but she's in acoma...i'm sorry but we could'nt save the baby...

***I feel lile umoya uzophela kimi***

Me:Aklona iqiniso lelo!

Zola:Bafo

Me:Zolani mtshele ukuthi uyahlanya!! lento aykhulumayo ayikho!! ingane yami nomkami ba right!!!

Doc:I'm sorry

Me:FUCK!!

***I punch the wall angbambe uzolani..ngibrashe ubuso ngibamba izinyembezi***

Me:Ngfuna ikhanda lalomuntu obeshayela imoto...

***Ngimshiye kanjalo ngyekwi ward lika khosi...ulele embhedeni kukhala umshini and isimo akuso singenza ngophe ngaphakathi..ubuso bakhe bulimele..ngimubambe isandla ngimcabuze isphongo***

Phila:Ngyaxolisa sthandwa sami...angikwazi ukuvikela wena nendodana yethu...kodwa ngyathembisa..ngzomthola lomuntu owenze lento...

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MELOKUHLE

***I'm in the shower...amanzi ayehla emzimbeni wami wetting my hair...a sob escape my mouth followed by a loud one...nghlale phansi and cry..mangqeda i dry mysef bese ngyaphuma..umama uhleli embhedeni wami..***

Mah:I miss her too..

***Nghlale eduze kwakhe***

Me:Our home mama...gone just like that...u aunty angeke aphinde avuke

Mah:Ngyazi ukuthi kunzima mntanami kodwa konke lokhu kuzodlula

Me:Abantu abenze lento kumele bejeze mama...they have to pay

Mah:Kmele uxole melokuhle...i anger angeke ikulethele i peace

Me:Mama how can you say that? usis wakho bambulele and ufuna sxole kanjalo nje?

MahGod will deal with them...

***Asukume***

Mah:Get some rest you need it...

***Aphume ahambe ngiziphose embhedeni and sleep***

**

***Namuhla usuku le funeral...i have never seen zodumo cry like that...kubuhlungu ukulahlekelwa umama...u aunty was my mother too..ngibuka abantu beqoqa itende kanye neytulo...ngfake ingubo emnyama...ngbone uphilani emile engbuka and i go to him..angvulele izandla and i hug him..***

Phila:Are you okay?

Me:Mhh..are you?

***He sighs...kuningi abhekane nakho..ukhosi usakwi coma walahlekelwa ingane...ngimbuke emehlweni and i can see the pain he's hiding..***

Me:How is she?

Phila:Nothing has changed...

***Abrashe ubuso bakhe and i hold him tight***

Me:Uzovuka manzini

***Angcabuze isphongo...kungene i call bese eyaphendula...uma eqeda abrashe ubuso***

Phila:Isesbhedlela...i have to go

***Angene emotweni and drive off...kufike uona ezohlala phansi***

Lona:Are you okay?

Me:Yes..thank you for being here

Lona:Ngizohlezi nginawe shomi..

***Sisikume syekhishini nghlangane no cuz wami usam..angnike ukey wemoto***

Sam:Thank you...ngisale sengiyisa e car wash and bathole igazi kwi tye lemoto

Lona:I gazi?

Me:UHm..i..ngcabanga ukuthi ngshayise islwane

Sam:Okay, take care

***Ahambe and i deep sigh..ngyekhishini and wash the dishes***

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NOMKHOSI

***I'm staring at the wall..udokotela was checking up on me...angkholwa namanje ukuthi nglahlekelwe ingane yami...izinyembezi lokhu zehlile...uvuleke umnyango angene uphilani and our eyes lock...i fail to contain myself and i just let it out..angbambe and i cry in his arms***

Phila:Ncela ungxolele mahlase

Me:My baby philani...My baby!!

Phila:Shh it's okay sthandwa sami...

***I feel like inhliziyo izoqhuma at any moment..angnike amanzi uphilani angsondeze kuye***

Phila:Kukhona okukhumbulayo?

***I sigh...i really don't remember anything...***

Me:No...engikukhumbulayo ama torch emoto then yonkinto yavele yamnyama

Phila:It's okay...

***Ngthinte isisu sami and my baby bump is there kodwa lincane manje...i cry again..kungene umelokuhle ephethe ama flowers and fruit***

Melo:Hi

Me:Hey

Melo:Ngikuphathele ama fruits and flowes..i'm sorry for your loss

Me:Fanele ngabe ujabule

Phila:Mahlase

Me:Sobabili syazi ukuthi asfunani so pls save that act

Melo:Ngyayazi lento odlula kuyo and i'm sorry

***I laugh***

Me:Uyayazi?? seke wamitha wena walahlekelwa ingane melokuhle?!

Me:Cha...kodwa ngyayazi i pain yokulahlekelwa umuntu..

***Abeke iymbali nama fruits***

Melo:Ngkhathele ukulwa nawe nomkhosi...sobabili sthanda umuntu oyedwa and lokho angeke kushintshe...angiyindawo mina

Phila:Bengingathanda ukuthi sonke sehlise umoya sizame nokuzwana...njengoba sila sizoba umndeni

Me:Ngsandakshonelwa ingane kodwa into eniycabangayo ilesthembu senu

Phila:Bengingasho kanjalo sthandwa sami

***Ngishawe ikhanda ngilibambe***

Phila:Mahlase

Me:Ikhanda...

***Mangvala amehlo all i can see ama lights emoto then ngizwe izinyawo zomuntu zisondela kimi..***

Melo:Nanka amanzi

***Ngphuze amanzi bese ngyalala ngikhipha umoya***

Melo:Uzoba right...i will take care of you..after all ngiwu mnakwenu

***Esho engbuka emehlweni emamatheka and i feel shiver down my spine...ngbuke uphilani osbukayo sobabili and he has a little smile on his face***

**********