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UMNAKWETHU

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PHILANI

***I'm driving straight to my house...i shake my head while driving ngoba indlela agijima ngayo ukhosi!! Ngipake kwi parking spot yami bese ngyaphuma ngyongena endlini...thank god usphiwe useskoleni...ngimfice phezulu uyapakisha***

Me:Uyaphi?

Khosi:I'm leaving you!! Kubukeka engathi ngenzani!!

Me:Hlala phansi skhukume

Khosi:No i...

Me:NOMKHOSI!!

***Angbuke shocked...bese ehlala phansi..ngilande istulo ngisbeke phambi kwakhe ngihlale phansi***

Me:Ufuna ngifelwe yingane?

Khosi:Phila i-

Me:Phendula umbuzo wami

Khosi:Cha

Me:Awusezwa mangkhuluma nawe nomkhosi?

Khosi:Ungayenzi lento ngami ngi-

Me:Uzongiphendula?

Khosi:Ngyezwa

Me:Uyezwa wena?

Khosi:Yebo

Me:Uzwa bani?

***Athule abuke eceleni izinyembezi zigcwele amehlo...i sigh***

Me:Khosi Ngyaxolisa ngokuthi ngilokhu ngikuphula inhliziyo..klamalanga all i do is hurt you and into engingayfuni leyo...ngyakuthanda khosi...ngyakuthanda angazi noma uyakubona yini lokho..angsoze ngayeka ukukthanda! I'm under pressure here...umelokuhle uyena ozoba umakoti wesbili...yes naye ngyamuthanda ngoba nobabili nihlukene ngezindlela zenu...akekho engimthanda kakhulu..yes ngyazi you're hurt kodwa lento oyenze namuhla nokubeka impilo yengane yami encupheni iyangicasula...yes i know ukuthi sno melokuhle sikuzwisile ubuhlungu kodwa ukumthuka was very wrong..angikaze ngilale no melokuhle ngoba ngihlonipha wena...angimlethanga ekhaya ngoba ngihlonipha wena ngilinde nane mvumo yakho...lokhu okwenze namuhla ukhombisa ukungangihloniphi njengo mnyeni wakho...yingoba sengi soft kuwe nomkhosi yingakho ucabanga ukuthi ungadilika kimi uma ngikukhuza uhayize engathi awuphili? Ufuna umelokuhle abone ukuthi uwena indoda kulomshado noma ufuna ngikushaye and go back to that man i use to be..

***Akhale kwehla izinyembezi anikine ikhanda***

Khosi:No..sengywayo i was hurt and...

Phila:Ngyakwazi lokho futhi ngiyaxolisa...ngikhathele manje nomkhosi...ayikho into engingakwenzeli yona...uma ungazibeka ezicathulweni zami ungazizwa ukuthi ngisindelwa kanjani...i hate hurting you kodwa akuyona inhloso yami..ngidalelwe isthembu futhi ngyasithanda lokho akusoze kwashintsha..uma ufuna ukungishiya kulungile i will set you free...ngikhathele manje nomkhosi ukuxolisa kuwe and hurting you..uma ubona kukuhle ukuthi sihlukane then I'm setting you free...ngizoba khona empilweni yezingane zethu i will never abandon my kids...ngizokunika into oyifunayo

Khosi:You want to leave me?

Me:Ngyakukhulula mahlase...all i do is hurt you..ngiyindoda yesthembu and lokho akusoze kwashintsha ngyakuthanda and i also love melokuhle futhi ngyafuna ukumshada ngemvumo yakho..

***Ngsukume and kiss her forehead***

Me:You're my day 1 mahlase angisoze ngayeka ukukthanda..pls take care of my son angfuni silahlekelwe ilengane mahlase angisoze ngazixolela

***Ngimubrashe isisu***

Khosi:Philani ngyakuthanda!

***She sob breaking my heart...ngsondele and she hug me and cry...***

Khosi:I love you so much philani..you're breaking me

Me:Shhh it's okay....

•••••

***Ukhosi ulele phezulu...ngihlezi while drinking a can of coke...kungene usyabonga ahlale phansi***

Sya:Bafo u right?

Me:I'm losing her man..

Sya:Ubani ukhosi?

***I nod***

Sya:I don't think so ukhosi uyakuthanda ntwana...okwamanje she's hurting kodwa uyakuthanda

***I sigh and try to call melokuhle kodwa ayibanjwa***

Me:I guess no melokuhle usaphatheke kabi yingakho engayibambi i call

Sya:I saw her the other day e office....all i can say is that muhle bafo...she's calm and collected..natural beauty ngisho indlela akhuluma ngayo uyazithoba...she's gonna make a great wife ngyabona why umthanda

Me:I just love her man

Sya:Masekuba umamkhulu..uhlanya lwakho

***I chuckle***

Me:Ngimthanda enjalo...ukuthi angifuni abe seduze kwa melo okwamanje...labantu ama personality abo awafani...ukhosi is crazy futhi she challenge me...she has that sexy fire kuye that i love..uyakhumbula ebulala imoto yami back in high school coz i cheated

***Sihleke sobabili***

Sya:Eiish angsoze ngalukhohlwa lolyasuku...i trauma enganginayo!! She's crazy mfana ngangithi uzokubulala

Me:Unomkhosi is like that kodwa uma esenami uba omunye unomkhosi...ngyamthanda bafo...bese kuba umelokuhle...angikwazi ngisho ukumchaza bafo kodwa leyangane ngisho ikhuluma i just melt...she's soft bese eba nenhliziyo enhle..she let me be the man in this relationship...uyangthanda futhi uyangihlonipha..unamahloni akakwazi ngisho ukungibuka emehlweni..akangiphakamiseli izwi..she's..

***I sigh brushing my face***

Sya:You're in love bafo

Me:Futhi ngfuna ukumshada

Sya:Ubani nje owake wacabanga ukuthi uyoba nesthembu

Me:Akekho..

Sya:Sbwl ukuba uwena bafo kodwa my wife would kill me

***We both laugh***

* * * * * * * * * *

MELOKUHLE

***I slowly open my eyes...ughh i hate this smell! Ngivule amehlo and yes I'm in the hospital..i hate hospitals..ngbone uzodumo esukuma fast engbuka namehlo abomvu***

Zodumo:Fuck you scared me!

***She hugs me tight and sniff***

Me:What happened?

Zodumo:Ngikufice uwile..what happened?

***Ibuye ingqondo and i sigh..***

Me:Ngcela amanzi

***Angnike ngiwaphuze***

Zodumo:Omah basayothenga into yokudla..

Me:Utheni udoc?

Zodumo:You fainted ngenxa ye stress...yonkinto ihamba kahle melo?

Me:Yes I'm fine ungakhathazeki...it's work stress

***All i can think about amazwi ka khosi...maybe she is right...ngimthathile uphila and fell for him...I am a homewreker! The pain she is feeling ingenxa yami...umah no aunty bangene they hug me bese bengnika ukudla***

Mah:Kumele uzohlala ekhaya iviki...ukuhlala wedwa is not good for you

Me:Mama i...

Mah:Sengkhulumile...uzocela i leave uze ekhaya and rest angeke ngifelwe uwena ngoba une stress emsebenzini

***I just sigh and go back to sleep...who knows..maybe i should just move on and forget uphilani..ngithathe ifoni yami and kuno 33 missed calls from him...i close my eyes then open them again...i block and delete his number***

1WEEK LATER

•••••

***Ngihlezi no zodumo sizibukela i tv after a long day...u aunty uskhiphe phandle sahhala igceke usuku lonke and I'm dead tired!***

Zodumo:Hhay ngeke laykhaya kumele kuqashwe u aunty asikwazi phela ukufukuza thina

Aunty:Mqasheni phela..angithi nina ninemali

Me:Kodwa aunty ulibonile igceke ukuthi lingakanani..my feet hurt

Zodumo:Uphi vele umalume?

Aunty:Uyodakwa utshwala lowo...uzobuya engasazazi ngisho i gama

Me:Umalume kmele ashade manje

Aunty:Ubani oyomshada uma ucabanga?

***Esho ehleka..i won't lie umalume ngeykathi zakhe wayemuhle...uyambona namanje ukuthi muhle inkinga udlala utshwala..ngihambe ngyogeza then i wear my pijama...kukhale ifoni yami ngihlale embhedeni***

Me:Lona

Lona:Baby girl ubuya nini?

Me:Ungkhumbule?

Lona:Alot...izinto azifani njengoba ungekho...i boss is always moody sihamba sicokama eduze kwakhe

***I sigh***

Me:Idk...ngcabanga ukuyeka

Lona:What?! Ithi uyadlala

Me:I'm serious

Lona:You want to quite your dream job ngenxa ka khosi?

Me:It's not about that! Uma ngingekho izinto zabo zizolunga...wawungekho that day..the hurt on her face will forever hunt me...

Lona:But you love philani

Me:I know but sometimes love is not enough..angeke ngihlale ngibona ukuthi I'm ruining umshado wabo...they love each other futhi ukhosi ukhulelwe...angeke ngvume bexabane ngenxa yami...lama feelings ka philani azosuka maduze i know...i will get over him and move on...i step sokqala ukuyeka umsebenzi

Lona:Friend ngizokunika i advise ngisho ungayicelanga! You don't owe nomkhosi anything..anisibona abangani nahlangana nje kuphela...uphilani uyakuthanda and futhi uzimisele ngawe...i know you love him too..kuzobanzima ukuthi ukhohlwe...don't give up on him yet mngani...myeke alungise izinto kuqala...yes ukhosi is hurting kodwa naye kumele a understand(e) aqine! Indoda iyathathwa sis...indoda eyethu i ring eyakho....ayikho into e wrong oyenzile...you only found love and lokho akulona i cala...nino philani you love each other! Uyena ovele weza endlini yakho engashongo nakhona wafika wakuthuka...uphilani uyakuthanda and ulwela wena melo..meet him half way uyeke ukuthi wena njalo you will push him away! Uma ucabanga ukuthi ama feelings azophela manje udlala ngeskhathi...ayikho into ewrong oyenzile awukaze ngisho ulale naye

***I sigh..***

Me:Ngyakuzwa

Lona:I have to go...think about what i said

***Avale ifoni ngilale ngibheke phezulu...kungene uzodumo azohlala***

Zodumo:Angithandi izindaba kodwa ngizwile ukuthi ukhuluma ngani kwi phone..

Me:Zodumo you're too young to understand...

Zodumo:I know...manje ngampela ufuna ukuba kwi isthembu?

Me:I don't know anymore

Zodumo:Uyamthanda?

Me:Kakhulu

Zodumo:Then don't give up on him

Me:It's complicated

Zodumo:You've been heartbroken before bengithi awusophinde uvume ukuba semathandweni kodwa klamaviki you're happy! You're glowing sis usuze wakhuluphala okusho ukuthi uphatheke kahle

Me:Unkosikazi wakhe uyangazonda

Zodumo:Kuba njalo vele..she won't love you...wena uzele umnyeni wakho not her..uzobe usemzini wakho ungamboni njalo...isthembu phela yinto ekhona manje...

Me:Since when did you grow up?

Zodumo:Since ngizoba no memulo

***I laugh***

Me:Ngampela?

Zodumo:Yes...umama uvumile..in 2 months nje

Me:Makuwa umhlwehlwe?

Zodumo:Sizobika phela..uhm...ungadinwa kodwa kunento ekumele ngikutshele yona

Me:Ungangitsheli ukuthi ukhulelwe

***She laugh***

Zodumo:No...kukhona okulindile ngaphandle

Me:ubani?

Zodumo:Uphilani

***Ngivuke fast with my heart beating fast! Ngyolunguza ewindini and yes imoto yakhe ipake ngaphesheya...i sigh***

Zodumo:Go to him pls..kade ehlezi lapha sekuze kwa late

***Ngifake ama slippers ngiphume...ngihlangane no malume ephephuka***

Zulani:Mshana ubhekephi ebsuku?

Me:Hellow to you too malume

Zulani:Mshanami awuthi u R2 lapho!

Me:Angnayo imali malume

Zulani:Wena njalo u stringi lokhu waba nemali ustingi

Me:Stringi or stingy?

Zulani:Mnx uyafana nje nomawakho useless...yingakho nje ngini khave nonke...mhla nafa ngyoba rich...nomashonisa uyobe ekhothama kimi

Me:Kmele ushade manje malume

Zulani:Angihlanyi mina mshana ngi right ngihlezi laykhaya ngigade nina ukuthi nishone ikakhulukazi umaka zodumo...

Aunty:Uthini ngami zulani?!

Zulani:Hhay hhayi hlukana nami!

Aunty:Into oyaziyo ukuphuza!! Kade senza igceke u-

Zulani:Ngyekeni!! Ngyekeni bo!!

***I just shake my head...aqhubeke ahambe ecula ephethe ibhodlela le black u aunty uyamthethisa...ngiphume ngyemotweni and nock on the window...aphume uphilani angbuke and i feel shiver down my spine***

Phila:Mashenge

Me:Hi...

***Asondele kimi and hug me tightly as i melt in his arms...he smell so damn good..he doesn't let go of me...i can feel his heart beating fast***

Phila:Bengikhathazekile ngawe ngikubheke yonkindawo mashenge i was losing my mind

Me:Ngyaxolisa...

***Angbuke emehlweni and i look away...***

Phila:Why?

Me:Bengidinga i space Manzini...

Phila:Awusabambi ngisho ama calls ami mashenge? Ngyaxolisa ngokwenzeka none of that should've happened...

Me:Kuzohlezi kunje? Ngisho sesishadile?

Phila:Cha...sikhuluma nje I'm building you your own house...angeke kube njena...

***He sigh***

Phila:Unomkhosi ngkhulumile naye ugcine ewehlisile umoya wavuma..

Me:Ngampela?

Phila:Yes...ksasa ngihamba nawe ngyekhaya i want to introduce you to my family

Me:But-

Phila:Ngiyakuthanda mashenge pls don't ever disappear like that

***I nod...angcabuze isphongo***

Me:Uzolala kuphi coz ku late?

Phila:I booked a hotel...ngizobuya ngizokulanda ksasa

Me:Ngihamba nawe

***He smirk and nod...he press his lips into my forehead***

Phila:Ngyakuthanda sbhengane sami

***We both laugh singena emotweni***

Me:I love you too

* * * * * * * * * *

KHOSI

***Ngihlezi kusofa watching sopies...lokhu ngbuka iskhathi...uphilani is working late namuhla...i don't know if i should believe that...kungene i call from zenande***

Zee:Really?

Me:What?

Zee:Uyavuma ukuba kwisthembu?

Me:Yes

Zee:Angikukholwa

Me:Ngkhathele ukulwa mina zenande...sengivele ngamukela isimo

Zee:Mngani i know you ukudlula wonke umuntu...uphilani uyamthanda and angeke um share!

***I laugh***

Me:Okay fine....ngivumile nje kuphela kodwa i will make sure ukuthi bayahlukana no philani

Zee:I knew it!

Me:Ngizomenza ahambe angaphinde abuye! Angeke ngbuke intombazane izomosha umendo wami..right now ngizoba umakoti oright kodwa lo melokuhle wakhona uzohamba ekhala!!

* * * * * * * * * *