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UMNAKWETHU

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PHILANI

***Have you ever been shocked and confused at the same time? Lomuntu ophambi kwami engamshada years ago namuhla ngathi angimazi...simbuka sonke...right now ungitshela ukuthi usakhulelwe?***

Zola:Bafo sizonidedela...

***Besukume bephume behambe...ukhosi ehlise iskibha sakhe kodwa sisavela isisu..ahlale phansi..ngbuke umelokuhle..she's quite and watching nomkhosi***

Me:Uthi usakhulelwe?

Khosi:Yes

Me:Nomkhosi musa ukungisanganisa mina!! Akaze ishone ingane mhh?!

Khosi:Sengwayo pls let me explain

Me:Angazi ukuthi ubani lo engimbukayo...

Khosi:I..i was hurt...you hurt me philani...deep down nawe uyazi ukuthi uthanda umelokuhle kakhulu! I just wanted to hurt you..ngikuzwise lento ongizwisa yona...bengeke ngvele ngamukele enye intombazane enhlizweni nasemshadweni wethu sengwayo...

Me:So wabona ukuthi uzo faker izindaba yengane yami??! Uzongizwisa ubuhlungu ngengane yami khosi?

Khosi:Ngyaxolisa sengwayo...I'm really sorry...ngawa ngephutha kuma steps umelokuhle akaze angiphushe...yes i bled kodwa ingane ayishonanga..nga-ngakhokhela udokotela ngathi akathi ishonile..ngibheke ku 4 months manje sengwayo and your baby boy is still alive...ngyazi ukuthi i broke your heart and trust sengwayo kodwa ngyakuthanda

Me:Do you realize ukuthi izenzo zakho zifake impilo ka melokuhle encupheni?? Waboshwa wahlazeka ngenxa yakho? The hurt you put her through

Khosi:I wanted her to feel the pain i was feeling sengwayo...I'm sorry

Me:Ungaxolisi kimi marn!! Don't you fucken dare!!!

***She jump abit uma ngimthethisa***

Me:Umuntu omonile umelokuhle..wamosha nempilo yakhe...into ozoyenza uzoya kwi public ubatshele ngamanga akho uxolise futhi ngezenzo zakho...angazi mina ukuthi uwbani...nomkhosi or makhosazana

Khosi:Ngiwu nomkhosi the girl you fell for years back..imina lona owamshela unyaka wonke ngaze ngakuqoma ngo december 31 philani...our first breakup is when you cheated and i smashed your car...wawungbiza ngamalahle akho avuthayo ngoba ngangihlezi ngivutha empini...akaze ngakutshela ukuthi ngne wele ngoba nami ngangingazi...yes i had a twin u makhosazana ehlala no baba phesheya...wayefika ezovakasha enenhliziyo embi...wathandana no qaphelani and angazi ukuthi kwenzakalani kodwa watholwa kwi bush esefile..kwaphela u 2 months ecingwa...uqaphela waqala lapho wangbiza ngomakhozana..ngimtshela ukuthi mina ngiwu nomkhosi...at first i thought it was trauma kodwa manje ngyabona ukuthi uyahlanya ekhanda...

***She sighs***

Khosi:Deep down uyazi ukuthi imina sengwayo...usphiwe ingane yakho akekho omunye engake ngalala naye! I'm sorry for doing this sengwayo kodwa bengenziwa umona ngoba ngyabona ukuthi umelo uyamthanda...melokuhle ngfuna ukuxolisa ngakho konke engakwenza kuwe..ukhethwe idlozi nawe awuzilethanga and lokho ngzokwamukela...i will go to the public and clear your name..i hope you will find it in your heart to forgive me...ngyakwamukela kulomndeni wethu omncane...this time i mean it

***Asukume***

Khosi:Ngyaxolisa sengwayo...uma ungangfuni empilweni yakho ungitshele and i will leave you alone ngoba kuningi okubi engikwenzile

***Aphume ahambe ngsale ngibrasha ubuso...umelokuhle anyuke ayephezulu and ikhanda lami liyazula..***

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2 DAYS LATER

KHOSI

***Angazi ukuthi ngigcine nini ukungena laykhaya..our home...i sigh as i look at the dust..well i went to the public ngachaza sonke i story ngaze ngaxolisa ku melokuhle and abantu bayavutha...i had to switch off my phone...nginyuke ngfike ngishintshe bese ngyaqala ngyaqoqa..ngidlale ingoma ye gospel and clean my house...i haven't heard of qaphela...ngizibuke esbukweni..kumele ngenze ikhanda coz wow..mangqeda uku clean ngishintshe i bedding nama khethings..i smile coz my room look so beautiful..bese ngyehla ngyoqala amabhodwe...ngizwe imoto ingena kwi gate..soon after angene uphilani ame uma engbona..i avoid eye contact with him...adlule ayephezulu ngsale ngqhubeke namabhodwe while humming my song..bese eyehla azibukele i tv..ngivule i fridge ngimuthelele ujuice wakhe ngiwubeke kwi tafula...***

Phila:Khosi

***Ngphenduke ngimbuke and our eyes lock...i look away quickly..asukume lapho mude kunami...i swallow hard..he smell so good and i miss him..ukuba sezandleni zakhe! Isandla sakhe sithinte isisu sami bese eyaguqa ebeka indlebe khona..bese ebeka ikhanda ahlale kanjalo iskhathi...amehlo ami agcwele izinyembezi***

Phila:Sungaze ungibulale kanje mahlase

***And i just cry...ngiguqe nami ngimubambe izandla..amehlo akhe agcwele izinyembezi azama ukuzibamba..***

Me:I'm sorry..

Phila:Uyazi ukuthi ingane ibaluleke kanjani kimi mahlase...wena wavele wangibulala ngphila...akaze ngimshade umuntu ongenazwelo kangaka

***I hug him tight and cry..angsuse kuye bese eyasukuma***

Phila:Kumele ngihambe

***Aphume ahambe and i cry while covering my face...i might have lost the man that i love wholeheartedly***

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MELOKUHLE

***Life neh...i don't know if i should cry or laugh...i can't believe that unomkhosi faked the miscarriage..ngaze ngaboshwa amaviki..ubuso bami bugcwele yonke indawo ngiwumbulali..i cried about it..my heart is so heavy...i haven't left my house ngoba wonke umuntu ukhuluma ngayo lento...now people feel sorry for me..the same people who were insulting me bengbiza ngamagama...I'm hurt i won't lie..I'm also hurt for philani..uyabona ukuthi yonke lento especially indaba yengane ayimphethe kahle...ulona was cleaning my flat waze wangphekela..honesty angazi ukuthi ngingenzani ngaphandle kwakhe***

Lona:Isbindi sakhe ukhosi yho! Hhayi akananhliziyo ugirl..ukhona umuntu ongafihla ingane yonke!!

Me:Tell me about it

Lona:Uphila angimfuni impela kodwa lena abamenza yona ibuhlungu...manje u girl useyavuma ukuthi nishade no phila?

Me:Angikukholwa konke lokho..mhlampe useza nenye i plan..zolo lokhu ubehlanya engangfuni then boom useyavuma...futhi nakqala wavuma kanje kanti unamaqhinga

Lona:Uyamthanda uphilani?

***I look at her***

Me:Ngenhliziyo yami yonke lona...angikaze ngathanda Umuntu ngalendlela..his touch alone is enough to make me lose my mind...uma engbuka emehlweni i swear ngibona impilo yethu yonke..angboni ukuthi ngingaphila ngaphandle kwakhe

***I sigh***

Me:Angazi why ngakhetha ukuthanda umuntu oshadile

Lona:Inhliziyo eyazikhethela...

Me:I feel like uma ngivuma ukuba kwisthembu i will regret it

Lona:You won't know if you don't try melo

Me:Asambe syophuza

Lona:Hhu?

Me:Asambe syophuza

Lona:Awukho right melo

Me:Ngi right lona...i just want to feel free and relaxed...i wanna let loose

***Ngsukume ngyoshintsha..ngifake ingubo yami encane nama qhoks amade..i put on a nude lipstic ngilungise i frontal yami..sphume sihambe...i don't even wanna think about my problems..zolo lokhu i was just a normal girl namuhla ngisho ngyestolo ngyashuthwa ayy...well sfike kle club sifike sibook i table then order drinks...sishaye ama shot sisukume sdance...ifoni yami ikhale and it's philani..ngiycime and carry on drinking...I'm moving my body on stage while singing...I'm drunk i know...i love this feeling...***

Lona:Girl we have to stop now

Me:No..I'm just getting started

***Ngilande ibhodlela ngilivule...kubekhona 2 guys abeza kithi***

Guy:2 beautiful girls drinking alone...I'm thando lona uvuyo

Me:Melokuhle and this is my besty lonathemba

Vuyo:Care to dance?

Me:Sure

Lona:Melo

Me:Relax i got this

***Sihambe syodansa..he hold my waist as i dance..***

Vuyo:Umuhle

Me:I know

***Ahleke***

Vuyo:Cocky aren't we...come here

***Angdonse and we go to the nearest corner..angbuke..okay unamehlo amahle i won't lie...abuke amalips ami..asondele ezongqabula but asuke fast kimi followed by a punch and he groan in pain..uphilani umile phambikwami ubuso bakhe is full of rage...angbambe isandla angdonsele emnyama***

Me:Philani ngyeke i want to dance

***My head is spinning...masfika phandle he pins me against the car and a slap follows utshwala buphele nya egazini as i hold my face***

Phila:Uyangidelela melokuhle uyangidelela!!

***Izinyembezi zehle asondele engkhomba***

Me:Phila uyanglimaza

Phila:Manyala mani owenza la melo hhe?? Uzilahla ebafaneni la?? Udansela leslima uze uyavuma ukuthi sikbambe kanje!!

***I just cry coz uyangthusa manje..i have never seen him like this***

Me:I'm sorry philani..

Phila:Cha ungijwayela kabi yezwa?!

***Akhiphe ugwayi wakhe awubheme..kufike uzolani***

Phila:Awumhambise lo angfuni ngisho ukumbona

Me:Phila...

***Ahambe and i cry...uzola angfake emotweni as i sob...***

Me:Pls take me back to philani

Zola:Right now is not the time

***I just cry sizo syofika endlini..mangingena izimbali zigcwele yonke indawo with candles..***

Me:W..what's going on?

Zola:Ubezocela umshade

***Ngihlale phansi and cry...god what have i done?!!***

••••

***I'm covered in a throw..ngivule amehlo ngiqalaza..I'm in my room..i gasp when i see philani sitting on a chair***

Me:Philani you scared me...

Phila:Vuka sikhulume

***Ngvuke nghlale...i can't even look at him in the eye***

Me:Manzini ngyaxolisa

Phila:Uxolisani?

***Ngbuke phansi***

Phila:Ngikubuze futhi?

Me:Ukuphuza nokudansa

Phila:Udansa nobani?

Me:I'm sorry philani...i was just stressed, everything is just so hard philani

Phila:Ubona kukuhle ukuthi uhambe uyophuza ufake ingubo eveza izinqa bese uvumela umfana akuthinte engathi awnandoda?

Me:I was drunk philani

Phila:So wena njalo uma udakiwe ufuna ukyobanjwa kwi club?

Me:Cha

Phila:Melokuhle..lodoti, lamasimba ozama ukuwenza azosixabanisa mina nawe...angeke mina ngibe nomuntu ophuza eze ebanjwe abafana abomile ngoba ene stress..uhlulwa yini ukuhlala la endlini or uphuzele khona? Yini ufuna ngbone ukuthi uziphethe awulawuleki? Noma ufuna ukungbona ngidiniwe?

Me:Cha

Phila:Angeke ngiymele leyonto mina melokuhle..angnayo intombi yomhlaba wonke!! Isdakwa sentombazane esingenangqondo

***Lomuntu akaze angphakamisele izwi kodwa indlela engkhala ngayo manje ngathi ngishayiwe!***

Phila:Ngzokunika i space since awukazazi ukuthi ufunani

***Ngehle ngyekuye***

Me:I know what i want philani..i want you

Phila:Uyaphi? Ungasondeli kimi...kade ubusy nabafana usufuna ukuzobamba mina?

Me:Nothing happened between us

Phila:Oksalayo ungangthinti mina..hambogeza unuka utshwala nendoda yakho

Me:Philani ngikuthanda ngenhliziyo yami yonke i didn't mean to hurt you

Phila:Ungphoxile melokuhle...bengingakulindele lokhu kuwe, i understand that konke lokhu kunzima kuwe..udlule ezintweni ezinzima ngenxa yami no khosi yingakho ngikunika i space

Me:Philani pls

Phila:Ungangbambi mashenge uzongihlanyisa

Me:Okay...kodwa Ungakhohlwa ukuthi ngyakthanda..angeke ngphinde ngphuze manzini i promise you

Phila:Ngdinga ukushawa umoya..

***Phila is hurting me right now...i look away as tears come out...aphume ahambe ngyongena kwi shower and cry silently...i scrub myself bese ngyaphuma ngfake ama pijama..ngehle ngyezansi izimbali zisakhona and my heart hurt more...kufone ulona***

Lona:Girl are you okay?

Me:Ngmoshile...akasangfuni lona akasangfuni

Lona:What?! Ukhuluma ngani

***I just cry***

Lona:I'll be there

***Ngvale ifoni nginyuke ngiziphose embhedeni and cry...ngigcine ngizumekile...leliphupho lingvakashele futhi...i see blood everywhere...ngizwe ngomuntu esengvusa***

Me:Mhh

Lona:Vuka melo!!

Me:What?!

***Ngvuke ngcikice amehlo angbuke engdabukela***

Me:What's going on?

Lona:Uphilani

***I frown..ngihlale kahle with my heart racing***

Me:wenzeni?

Lona:He was shot

Me:What??! No!! No!!

***Ngivuke ngshesha izinyembezi zehle nenhliziyo ishaya ngamandla...singene emotweni ulona ashayele and these tears won't stop falling***

Me:Usaphila?

***Angbuke amehlo akhe agcwale izinyembezi and i just sob out loud...***

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