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UMNAKWETHU

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PHILANI

***I'm fuming...i watch as imoto ka lona ihamba...i tighten my jew ngyongena emotweni ukhosi englandela..ngfike ngingene and drive straight home***

Khosi:Usamthanda philani mhh? Ufuna ukuba naye?!

***Ngivele ngthule ngoba ngyazi ukuthi i will lose my temper ngigcine ngenze into engizozisola ngayo!***

Khosi:Ngphendule philani ngphendule!!!

***Ngimise imoto phakathi nomugwaqo ngiphume while holding my head..ngiye kwi side la khosi ngvule iscabha and drag her out***

Khosi:Philani ngi-

Me:Shut up!! Shut up!!

***Angbuke shocked ekhamisa***

Me:Ngkhathele uwena nomkhosi!! Angazi yini kodwa you're a pain in the ass!!! Angikwazi mina uma usunjena..you drive me crazy unjalo awukhuzeki..wenza njengohlanya nomkhosi!!

Khosi:Ohh so now I'm-

Me:Ngizovele ngikusakaze ngempama khosi!!

***Amehlo akhe agcwale izinyembezi***

Me:Ngkhathele uwena khosi...you're draining me nenjabulo yami...uhlezi ungi accuser ngokuthi angikweseki kodwa ngihlezi nginawe! Ngyakbonisa uthando lwami!! Ngakuncenga ngesthembu kwavuma wena! Angazi ukuthi yini umzonde kangaka umelokuhle ekubeni elunge kangaka...angazi kwenzakalani ukuthi uze uwe kodwa engikwaziyo ukuthi umelokuhle akaze ekuphushe and I'm gonna find out what happened and if ngithola ukuthi you lied to me ngizokunyisa nomkhosi...thatha nansi imoto and drive straight home or uyekini uyozilungisa coz right now angazi ukuthi ubani lona omi phambi kwami..angikaze ngimshade lomuntu ophambi kwami

***Ngimshiye kanjalo and walk way***

Khosi:Philani!!!! Philani!!!

***I just need to clear my head....ngifonele umelokuhle kodwa ayingeni...i sigh and call an uber...i really fucked up and i hope it's not too late to fix things with melokuhle***

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MELOKUHLE

***I'm just staring into space...ngisekhaya ngilele embhedeni wami...physically I'm fine...emotionally I'm dying...all i ever did was to love philani i don't deserve to be punished..umah unqabile ukuthi ngibuyele kwi flat lami...i know ukhathazekile ngami kodwa I'm fine...i can handle myself...i won't go back to that dark place...in 2 weeks kuzobe kuno memulo ka zodumo..ngsukume ngivale amawindi...my phone rings***

Me:Hello?

Caller:Melo

Me:Ufunani andile?

Andile:Bengingazi ukuthi wena wonke ungavuma kanjalo nje ukuba kwisthembu

Me:Ungfonelele lokho?

Andile:Wawunqabelani nje ukuba kwi sthembu sami hhe? Uyazi ukuthi ngyakuthanda melokuhle and i can treat you better kunalendoda yakho

Me:Angikuthandi andile futhi angsophinde ngikuthande..ungaphinde futhi ungfonele

***Ngvale i call and block his ass nxh..no phila naye i blocked him..ngyamthanda impela kodwa angfune lutho ezongihlanganisa naye...i hope he doesn't give me trouble at work..ngyezansi bahlezi bayaphaka***

Aunty:You're here...yazi cishe ngakubiza

Mah:Hlala phansi sidle

***Nghlale phansi ngithathe ukudla kwami and eat***

Mah:Skhathazekile ngawe melokuhle...

Me:Mama I'm fine...angeke lokhu ngizivalele lana..umsebenzi wami unglindile

Aunty:Hhayi melo...ungangitsheli ukuthi ufuna ukubuyela kulowamfana mina!!

Me:Angbuyeli kuye aunty kodwa i need my job..angeke ngicashe la forever..i must face reality..ubuso bami bugcwele bonke indawo and izinto are being said about me lokho angeke kushintshe..ukuhlala la angeke kungisize ngalutho...namuhla ngyahamba

Mah:Ngcela uzinakekele melokuhle..

***I smile***

Me:Khululeka mah...

••••

FEW DAYS LATER

***I'm walking to my workplace...abantu ngisho ngihamba emall bayangbuka but i don't care...ngifake i sketi sami sama print ne shirt elimnyama with heels..ekhanda ngibophe igoda...mangingena nje wonke umuntu angbuke..lona grins and nod..i smile at her..ngingene kwi lift and head straight to my office...uphilani akakafiki..anyways ngibuke ama files akwi desk lami and start doing my job...an hour later uphilani afike..ame ebuka mina bese eyangena..ngikhiphe umoya ngsukume nama files ngyokwenza i coffee lakhe and head straight to his office..nginocke***

Phila:Come in...

***Ngingene ngfike ngbeke i coffee etafuleni***

Me:Good Morning sir, nali i coffee lakho

Phila:Mashenge ngcela skhulume

Me:You have a meeting at 8 nama clients asethekwini, then in 2 days kuzomele uyohlangana nabo ethekwini for i celebration ezobikhona yokukhula kwe business...

Phila:Mashenge

Me:It's melokuhle to you sir...kukhona okunye ozokudinga?

***Asukume eza kimi and i move back..ame efake izandla emaphaketheni***

Phila:Don't be like this mashenge uyangiphula

***Ngimbuke this time..uyambona ukuthi he's not okay and my heart clenches...i look away..***

Me:Ngcela ukubuyela emsebenzini sir

***Ngimshiye lapho ngfike nghlale ngikhiphe umoya..inhliziyo yami ibuhlungu i won't lie..i love philani with all my heart but he hurt me so bad! Well i carry on working bese ngyolungisa i board room and ngifice yena kqala! Arggh great!! Lomuntu uhlezi efika kgcina kwi meeting and namuhla u early..i roll my eyes and start my thing...ngilungise kahle i projector and all this time uyangbuka...i can feel his eyes burning my skin...***

Phila:Ngkhumbula ngiqala ukukbona..

***He chuckles***

Phila:Ngacishe ngakushayisa and i was pissed ngoba uhamba ungabuki...that day i couldn't get you out of my brain...there's something about you mashenge..ungenza ngizizwe ngiyi teenager melokuhle...uma ngikubona inhlizyo yami ivele ishaye ngamandla ngijuluke nezandla...your beauty haunts me...i miss your touch more than anything...impilo yami angiyboni ungekho...i can't bare seeing you kodwa ngingakwazi ukukuthinta...ngyazi ukuthi konke lokhu okwenzekile iphutha lami...i couldn't protect you melokuhle..akaze futhi ngikukholwe and ngyohlezi ngizisola ngalokho...i know that you're angry with me kodwa ukuzwa iphimbo lakho kuzongenza ngikhululeke emoyeni..ngyakthanda melokuhle and i wil never stop loving you..i will fix all this mess ngilungise igama lakho...ngyaxolisa ukuthi you had to go through all that pain ngenxa yami...

***All this time ngimflathele izinyembezi zehle..kungene abantu kwi board room and i quickly wipe my tears..ngihlale phansi as the meeting start..phila keep on stealing glances of me..***

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KHOSI

***I call him again kodwa ingena ku voicemail...i sigh in frustration...umama angene angbuke anikine ikhanda...i decided to go back home...uphilani akafune lutho ezomhlanganisa nami...my eyes are so puffy because I'm always crying..***

Mah:Myeke apholise ikhanda musa ukumxina

Me:I can't mama...uzobuyela kumelokuhle

Mah:And ubani odale lokho?

Me:Mama fanele ngabe uyangeseka..I'm your daughter not melokuhle...ungthathele indoda mama!!

Mah:Ungakhulumi nami kanjalo khosi!! Yazi angazi noma kukhona i screw esishodayo ekhanda lakho!! Yingakho nje uphilani ekushiyile ngoba usuyasangana and ngcabanga ukukuhambisa esbhedlela...awuhlale la ucabange kahle ngempilo yakho!! Give him space uma ubona ukuthi angeke ulunge phuma kuye..ngkhathele ukulokhu ngikutshela into eyodwa nomkhosi ngoba kyacaca awuzwa...you're gonna lose philani ngoba awuhloniphi uyadelela and ayikho indoda engahlalela lokho...fix yourself marn nxh!

***Asukume ahambe and i just cry...i can't lose philani...kukhale ifoni yami ngiphendule fast!***

Me:Sthandwa sami!

Caller:Waze wangbiza kamnandi!

Me:Ngkhuluma nobani?

Caller:Uyashesha bo ukukhohlwa swidi lami

***Igazi livele libande..inhliziyo ishaye and i swallow hard***

Me:Ufunani?

Caller:Uyazi ukuthi ngifunani...ngkhathele ilomdlalo ngfuna okungokwami

Me:Don't you dare!!

***Ahleke izinyembezi zivele zehle***

Caller:Sobonana soon swidi lami

***Avale ifoni ngsukume ngiyaluza and just sob...ngsukume ngifonele umaka philani***

Her:Makoti

Me:Mama he's back!! Ufuna okungokwakhe! Uzoymosha impilo yami mama!! Uzongzonda uphilani mama he can't find out akakwazi mama!!!

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MELOKUHLE

***The meeting is over...ngivale i laptop ngbuyele kwi office lami...i can't help but think about philani's words...ngiphuze amanzi ngoba ngishawa ikhanda elinzima kabi...***

Lona:Hey girl...

Me:Hey

Lona:Yazi ngyajabula ukuthi usubiyile emsebenzini..i was bored here without you

Me:Ncoow

***We both laugh...suddenly everything goes blurry..ngizame ukuphefumula kodwa i can't..I'm now breathing heavily ngyazizwa nezinyembezi zigcwele amehlo...***

Lona:Melo?! Melokuhle??! Shit! Sizani!! Sizani!!

***Ngizwa umsindo bese ngizwa umzimba wami ulele kwinto ebandayo...ngibone umkhulu osekhulile uphethe nesagila wafaka nesigqoko kanye nesudu...ngsukume ngimbuke..abuke eceleni nami ngijikise ikhanda and i gasp in shock...kugcwele igazi phansi kunomsindo wabantu abalwayo...ngivale amadlebe ngoba umsindo is getting loud...***

Mkhulu:Kusazobanzima...kuchitheke igazi...ngyazi uthukile mntanam kodwa mina angeke ngikulimaze, you're the chosen one awuyena kuphela umakoti ka phila kodwa ungumakoti wozungu..sikulethe ngenhloso kulomndeni ngoba ngyazi ukuthi unamandla okuqeda yonke lento eyenzakalayo...kusazochitheka igazi kuvezwe nokufihliwe...Umnakwenu akagezwe kunefa elimnyama elihamba naye..okwamanje isayinde lendlela osazoyihamba..ungapheli amandla ngoba mina ngikhona eduze kwakho..Nyama kayish! Sengwayo! Manzini!!

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