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UMNAKWETHU

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MELOKUHLE

***Never have i thought or imagined that philani would hurt me like this...was i blind all this time? Umuntu othi uyamthanda umphatha kanjena?? I'm still at the hospital! I can't even move my body...my heart is empty..my child..inkanyezi yami...u andile afike ephethe ukudla***

Andile:Kuzomele udle ukuze ubuyise amandla..

Me:Anglambile andile...i just want my child

Andile:Melokuhle ngyazi ukuthi kunzima...ngyazi ukuthi kuningi okucabangayo njengamanje! Kodwa amandla wona uzowadinga and you won't give up ngoba ingane yakho iyakudinga...so you need to stay alive

***I look at him and it's like ngibuka omunye u andile...he is no longer that playful andile..ubuso bakhe bubhalwe ukuthi "Don't mess with me" ngivuke ngihlale and he feed me..***

Me:Who are you?

***He chuckles***

Andile:Andile khuzwayo...

***Angcabuze isandla..****

Andile:Everything is gonna be ok..

***I don't know why but i trust him..ngizwe izinyembezi zingishisa...asondele and wipe my tears..***

Andile:Ngyazi ukuthi now is not the time kodwa angisakwazi ukuzibamba

***I give him a confused look and he smile showing his dimple**

Andile:Since the day i met you...

***Asuse izinwele ebusweni bami and stare deep into my eyes***

Andile:Klezinyanga nginawe ungenze ngaba omunye umuntu...i was never an open person kodwa wena wangfunda njenge ncwadi...you're an amazing person sondiya...uma nginawe i forget that some things exist...i can be myself around you...ungenza ngizwe izimvemvane melokuhle and I'm too old for that..

Me:Andile..

Andile:Ngyazi sondiya ngyazi...awudingi ukuthi ungiphendule bengfuna ukukhipha okusenhlizweni yami..ngyakuthanda

***I look at him shocked..he chuckles and kiss my cheek bese ehlala phansi engfunze engathi akakaze asho lutho...i sigh as i swallow the lump in my throat..he's in love with me?? Me? Melokuhle buthelezi?***

Me:Ungthandelani andile

Andile:Umbuzo onjani lowo

Me:I'm a mess..impilo yami i mess...i have to much baggage

Andile:Ngikuthanda kunjalo kuhle...ngicela singakhulumi ngakho manje..let's focus on you ukuze uthole amandla ulelwe ingane yethu

***I find myself smiling...God are you testing me?***

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LONATHEMBA

***Ngiqeda ukufunza umaka melokuhle ukudla..she's better now..kodwa emehlweni uyabona ukuthi she's empty..***

Me:Kumele ucambalale manje mama..

Her:Melokuhle

***Amamatheke angbuke touching my face..abone ukuthi yimi and her face drops***

Me:You must rest mah...

***Ngimfake engubeni bese ngyaphuma...***

Zodumo:Did she eat?

Me:Yes

Zodumo:Thank you

Me:Don't thank me...she's my mother too..

***She nods..uyambona ukuthi ukhathele..she even lost weight***

Me:Go get some sleep

***She nods..ngphume and uzolani unglindile ngaphandle...well sakungisa izinto and he is divorced now..ungflathele ukhuluma ne foni..***

Zola:Uyahlanya ekhanda philani??! Uyisaphi ingane ka melo??! Ucabanga ukuthi ukhosi uzoyamukela?! Ngyazi ukuthi you're hurting kodwa manje awucabangi kahle..i newborn lena izodinga umawayo!! Damnit marn!

***Aphenduke and freeze..i fold my arms as i feel my anger rising..avale ifoni***

Zola:Sthandwa ngi-

Me:Chaza zolani!! Umelo ungenaphi la??! Ingane yani okukhulunywa ngayo?!! Phendula zolani!!!!

Zolani:Aksiyo lento oyicabangayo

Me:Uyamazi umelo ukuthi uphi?

***He sighs izinyembezi zivele zigcwale emehlweni and i take a step back***

Me:I can't believe this...ALL THIS TIME ZOLANI!! UNGBONA NGKHALA SFUNANA NO MELOKUHLE KANTI WENA UYAMAZI UKUTHI UPHI!!!

Zola:Ngi-

Me:UPHI UMELOKUHLE??! UPHIIIII??!!!

Zola:Fuck...use america

***Ngimbuke shocked...ziphume izinyembezi***

Me:Is she okay?

***He sighs***

Zola:Yes, she have a baby

***I look at him shocked***

Zola:Umelokuhle uyena owashayisa ukhosi kwashona ingane yakhe

Me:That's bullshit umelokuhle akasoze wenza leyonto!

Zola:Wazivumela yena

Me:Angnandaba ukuthi uthini zolani! Ngyamazi umelokuhle mina! She would never do that..

***Ngsondele ngimbuke***

Me:Buyusani umngan wami ekhaya zolani or else nizonya!!

***Ngimshiye kanjalo***

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PHILANI

***Unkanyezi lokhu ekhale sisuka esbhedlela..angsazi ngenzenjani coz akafune lutho..i sigh***

Me:Come on nkanyezi

***Ngimphathe ngimshushuzela kodwa usakhala...ngsukume ngivule izinto zencence ngfunde ngaphandle ngimenzela..aghh ngabe kade sfikile e south africa inkinga ukuthi ingane encane ayikwazi uku travel kmele slinde noma iviki...ngimfake ibhodlela ancele ngokushesha and i find myself smiling..***

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1 WEEK LATER

MELOKUHLE

***So soft...ngivule amehlo kancane ngiqalaze...kungene u andile avule ama khethingi namawindi..***

Andile:Wake up sleeping beauty..

***I smile..ngisendini ka andile...I'm feeling so much better now..***

Andile:Geza uzongfica ezansi ne breakfast yakho ikulindile..

***Ngihambe ngyogeza...mase ngyaphuma ngibhince ithawula..ngfake ama tracksuit bese ngyehla.***

Me:Kunuka kamnandi

Andile:It's even better uma usudla

***I take a bite and it's delicious..***

Me:Thank you

Andile:Awudingi ukuthi ungibonge...

***I sigh***

Me:I can't believe it's been a week ingane yami ngingayiboni..

Andile:Uzoba naye soon...lommeli engimtholile he's the best...into okumele uyenze ukulinda kancane

Me:It's hard andile...angilitholanga nanethuba lokumncelisa...i don't even remember her face

***Angcabuze isphongo***

Andile:You will have her soon ngyakuthembisa

***Angcabuze isphongo and hug me..gosh it's feels so good to be held..angbuke emehlweni***

Andile:Sengikhona melokuhle..angeke ngvume ukuthi uhlukumezeke ngikhona..

***His eyes are darker and he has a serious look on his face..angibrashe ubuso and for after a long time i feel safe..***

* * * * * * * * * *

KHOSI

***Ngizenzela i coffee..sekuqla ukuba mnyama phandle..i feel like crying...uphilani angmazi ukuthi uphi...bese kuba amaphupho engibanawo!! Umama uhleli phansi..she was worried about me so ubehleli nathi klezinsuku...ngihlale phansi***

Mah:Ngikhathazekile ngawe

Me:I'm fine mama

Mah:Khuluma nami nomkhosi..uyazibona ukuthi unjani?

***Ngidonse umoya ngiwkhiphe***

Me:I did something mama...

***Angbuke and i look down***

Me:Umelokuhle akuyena owangshayisa

Mah:Uthini kimi?

***I sigh***

Me:Uzekhethelo owangshayisa wase wa framer umelokuhle...uyena futhi owashisa ka melo

Mah:Shwele smakade! Nomkhosi!

Me:Konke lokhu ngikwenze ngoba nakhu ngingafuni ukulahlekelwa uphilani...i was weak ngenkathi ngishayisiwe kodwa ngyakhumbula ukuthi umelokuhle uyena owangcosha wangihambisa esbhedlela

***I look down***

Me:Uyena owasindisa impilo yami mama

Phila:Angizwa?

***Ngsukume fast...uphilani umile nezandla emaphaketheni and my heart skip a beat!***

Me:S..sengwayo

Phila:Iqiniso?

Me:N..Ngyaxolisa

***He chuckles tightening his jews...veins popping on his forehand...ngihlehle and sob silently ***

Phila:Uyazi ukuthi wenzeni nomkhosi?

***Ngbone izinyembezi emehlweni akhe abomvu..akhiphe i ring yakhe ayilahle phansi and my heart stops..anikine ikhanda aphume ahambe***

Me:Philani!! Philani!!

Mah:Myeke..mnike i space

Me:Kodwa ma-

Mah:Hhayi marn nomkhosi!! Iphutha lakho lonke leli angazi noma awuboni yini..mnike i space

***Angshiye kanjalo ngihlale phansi and just cry***

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