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UMNAKWETHU

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MELOKUHLE

***Uphilani umile uyangbuka...he's not moving..you can see the shock in his face...amehlo akhe ahlale on my stomuch before finding my eyes...i was also surprised ngenkathi ngthola ukuthi I'm pregnant..***

Phila:Udlala ama games melokuhle?

***I chuckle***

Me:Ungangifanisi nomkakho mina philani

***Asondele engbamba isisu and his eyes widen***

Phila:Waze nini?

Me:Belokhu ngbona sikhula kancane ngomngcwabo ka aunty ngayothenga i pregnant test..ngibheke ku 2 months

Phila:Ngazi ngani ukuthi lengane eyami?

Me:Are you crc philani?! Akekho omunye umuntu engike ngalala naye ever since we dated

Phila:Njengamanje angikwazi ngisho ukuthi ungubani so angthembi lutho..mina nawe salala kawodwa

Me:And we didn't use protection...uphika ingane yakho philani?

Philani:Right now angikuthembi melokuhle

***I just laugh bese ngihlala phansi***

Me:Phuma philani

Phila:Ngi-

Me:I don't give a fuck philani PHUMA!!! VELE UNGBULALE!! NGYAKZONDA PHILANI

Phila:The feeling is mutual

***Angbuke and i look away..aphume ahambe kubemnyama yonkinto and i just burry my head on my legs and sob...ngilale ngbheke phezulu staring into space...I'm hurting and the pain won't go away...emvakweskhathi uvuleke umnyango kungene uphilani ehamba no dokotela..***

Phila:Sukuma..udokotela uzokwenza i scan

Me:Pls leave me alone

Phila:Angizile la ukuzokuncenga..get up

***Angsukumise bese nghlala estulweni..udoc akhiphe izinto zakhe bese efaka i gel on my tummy...few moments later we can hear the heartbeat...***

Doc:Ohh..there he or she is..

***Ngbuke uphilani obuka i screen..***

Doc:Congratulations mr zungu

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NOMKHOSI

***Ngphumile esbhedlela..bengeke lokhu ngihlezi lapha ngazi kahle ukuthi I'm fine..I'm heading straight to my office...ngifuna ukushawa umoya kancane coz wow kuningi...ngingene kwi lift ngfice uthando who is my business partner***

Thando:Wow...ngaze ngajabula ukukbona!

Me:Benginikhumbule namuhla ngathi let me come and check

***Sphume singene e office...ngihlale phansi ngidonsa umoya..ngthathe i file ngiyibuka***

Me:Mhhh...i see you have everything under control

Thando:Uyangazi moss girl...i love my work so much!

***Ahlale phansi***

Thando:Unjani kodwa? Sikubona ezindabeni nje naku social media

Me:Tell me about it...angikwazi ngisho ukuya etoilet ngingashuthwa

Thando:Kodwa angikaze ngamcabanga uphilani nesthembu...u guy wayengavumi ngisho ukuthintwa omunye umuntu

Me:Kushintshe konke lokho...

Thando:Uzizwa kanjani ngalokho?

Me:I don't know anymore...thando ngenze izinto ezimbi ngoba nakhu ngingafuni ashade omunye umuntu...kwanami besengingaziboni ukuthi ngingubani...indoda iyahlanyisana ngikutshele...sengyamukela isimo coz ngyabona ukuthi yonke lento angeke iphele...isthembu uzosthatha...sengikhathele ukulwa mina manje...i even lost my child ngenxa yayo yonke lento..

Thando:So uyasivuma isthembu?

Me:Maybe..

Thando:He loves you khosi

Me:I know

***She smiles***

Thando:Uzoba strong as umamkhulu..

***Kukhale ifoni yami***

Me:Sengwayo

Phila:Uthe ufuna sikhulume?

Me:I'm at work

Phila:Uphume nini esbhedlela?

Me:Ngcela sikhulume uma ngfika ekhaya pls

***Avale ifoni and i sigh...***

Me:Kune meeting in 20mn right?

Thando:Yes

Me:I'll join you..i just want to clear my head

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PHILANI

***Ngihleli estulweni with a bottle in my hands...angazi ukuthi ngizizwe kanjani...it's like yonkinto ibuya ebusweni bami...umuntu ebengimthanda ebengithi uphansi turned out to be the reason for my pain...i understand that umelokuhle was hurt and angry..kodwa ukuthi abulale ingane yami...igazi lami kalula kanjalo..***

Zola:Utshwala angeke kuzilungise izinkinga zakho

Me:Ngfuna ukuba ngedwa zolani

Zola:Sizokwenzenjani ngo melokuhle? Iskhathi syahamba namaphoyisa ayamfuna...angikwazi ngisho ukubuka ulonathemba emehlweni

Me:She's pregnant

Zola:What??! Fuck man...

***Ngikhiphe umoya***

Me:Yazi ngathi ngyaphupha..umkhulu waze wangfaka emanyaleni

Zola:Uyazi ukuthi angeke umkhiyele lapha? Your child could die philani

***Ngi brashe ubuso***

Zola:I have an i dea...kmele umsuse lana or aye kwenye i country simlinde azale...after that..

Me:I think umqondo oright lowo...into engcela ungenzele yona ukushintsha amagama akhe...namuhla ebsuku uyahamba

***He nods bese eyaphuma ehambe...ngsukume and unlock the room...ulele kwi spontshi engimfakele sona...ngivale bese nghlala phansi as i watch her sleep***

•••

***Ngingena endlini manje..ngfice ukhosi epheka ekhishini..ngihambe ngyogeza mangqeda ngihlale phansi...azohlala naye***

Khosi:I saw her

Me:Ubani?

Khosi:Umuntu ongshayisile

***Asule izinyembezi and i hold her hands***

Khosi:It's was her philani...umelokuhle ubezama ukungbulala

***Uvalo luthi heqe...Deep down bengfuna kube omunye umuntu..part of me still believed that umelokuhle akasoze wenza lento...i swallow the liva as i hug nomkhosi***

Khosi:She killed my baby philani!!

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ZODUMO

***I've been trying to call melokuhle kodwa ingena ku voicemail...we are all worried..umama akadli ngisho ukudla uhlezi ezivalele kwi room yakhe...what if kukhona okwenzakalile kuye? My heart can't take all this pain***

Zulani:Mshana

***I sigh and wipe my tears***

Zulani:Uzobuya umelokuhle asihlale ethembeni

Zodumo:Uzobuya nini malume..we can't lose her..we just lost mom

***Angihage as i break down***

Zulani:Umelokuhle is strong zodumo...i gut yami ingitshela ukuthi usaphila...

***Angsule izinyembezi...***

Zulani:Ngicela uhambisele usis ukudla...kumele adle

***I nod..nginyuke nokudla ngvule umnyango wakhe***

Zodumo:Mama kmele udle manje vuka...

***Ngbeke ukudla bese ngyamvusa***

Me:Mama...mama? Mah!!

***She's not responding***

Me:Noo!! No!! Mahh?!! MALUME!!! MALUMEEE!!!! Hhayi mama vuka!!!

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MELOKUHLE

***I can feel the cold breeze in my skin...kukhona into abangjove ngayo... ikhanda lami liyazula..i feel like ngsemoyeni but then i can smell philani's cologne..i can feel his cold hands on my body...banglalise embhedeni and i don't even know ukuthi ngikephi..***

Nkanyezi:Are you sure about this bafo?

Phila:Yes...hamba naye for now..make sure yonkinto ihamba ngendlela

Nkanyezi:Bhuti you love this woman..ungayenzi lento

Phila:Nkanyezi yenza engikushoyo pls....right now ngenza konke engingakwenza ukuvikela umndeni wami...umelokuhle have to leave the country

***Ohh god no! I want to move and scream but i can't..what about my family?! What about my life??! I can feel tears burning my eyes and the pain chocking me...i feel hands on my face and he whispers***

Phila:It's better like this

***I want to scream and tell him to free me...i see him leave as he disappear in the dark...crushing my heart and soul..i feel my body giving up on me as everything goes dark...He never loved me....***

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