CH15

BURNING BLUE.
BY BELLA ROYALTY.
15

[NTANDOKAZI NGEMA]
Last night I had set an alarm for 6am so that I can return back home early and prepare for class, my first class was at 8am.

I am really grateful to Tumelo, he really came through for me last night despite us not being okay, he was even a gentleman, he let me sleep at his apartment while he went home, so I spent the night alone.

I've been awake for a while now, when the alarm rang, I was already awake, just thinking about my life and the way forward from this whole mess I seem to have created.

Uncle Sfiso is right, they've been nothing but good to me ever since I got here and they didn't even have to take me in, Aunty Mandisa has been a mother to me, and I went on to disrespect them by sleeping with their son, under their roof, I mean of course he doesn't know that, but you know, it happened.

I don't know what Shaka and I were thinking honestly, we are related, cousins even, theres no way that we have a happy ending, whichever way we may look at this, it doesn't have a happy ending.

So I need to put a stop to this, uncle Sfiso revealed a side of him that terrified me, I don't want to anger that man, because for now I need them, and that means I have to abide by their rules.

Tumelo walked in just as I was about to get up and make the bed.
Tumelo: Good morning.
Me: Hey.
Him: How did you sleep?
Me: I slept great, thank you again Tumelo for helping me out.
Him(smiles): I am glad that I was the first person you thought about.

We laughed.
Me: To be honest, I had no choice it's not like I know many people here.
Him(laughs): There's that!
Me: But you did me a solid, I'll forever be grateful.
Him: It wasn't that big of a deal Ntando, so have you decided what you'll do?
Me: It's simple, stay away from Shaka, give him the cold shoulder if I have to, keep to myself, focus on school and my life, for now know I think I will step away from relationships and boys.

He nodded.
Me: Getting through the end of the year is going to be hard under that roof, mainly because I'm someone who can't pretend and I don't like being scolded at, next year I will have to apply for a bursary and accommodation.
Him: Luckily your cousin is part of the student council he can pull that off for you.
Me: Yeah, Tumelo please don't tell him about what transpired between his father and I, Shaka has a short fuse, I don't want to cause any trouble anymore.
Him: I promise.
Me: So I will see you at school?
Him: Yes, come here.

We shared a hug and I grabbed my phone and car keys and then went to my car and drove off.

________

When the gate opened and I drove in, my heart started beating fast because he was standing there, waiting for me, I'm honestly terrified of the man, what if he thinks I spent the night at Shaka's apartment since it seems like he didn't come back home as well?

I took a deep breath as I got out of the car.
Me: Good morning Malume.
Uncle Sfiso: Umthetho wakho wena uyazilawula?(You do as you please)
Me: Pardon?
Him: Pardon yamasimba! Do you know how worried your aunt was about you? She hardly slept! Your phone was off! We didn't know where you had went! I even had to drive in the middle of the night to Shaka's place because that's where we thought you were! Do you want to kill my wife?

I shook my head.
Me: No, I slept at a friend's place, I'm sorry that charging my phone and letting aunty know that I was okay, wasn't my first priority.
Uncle Sfiso: I am still trying to understand why you would even storm out of the house like that! What made you angry? Is it about you and your cousin?Or him getting married?
Me: I just… Slindile was provoking me!
Uncle Sfiso: Slindile was provoking you? You revealed your jealousy to her!

Me: Jealousy? Malume are you fuvkin serious right now? Did you not see that she started it first, calling me a fraud? What was I supposed to do? Keep quiet? I know that you don't like me, so right now everything that's happening you're blaming me for it but God forbid a girl tries to stand up for herself!

He slapped me hard, I held my cheek, shocked.
Uncle Sfiso: You will apologise to your brother's wife do you hear me? You will also apologise to the entire Khumalo family for your disrespect and humiliation do you hear me?

I swallowed.
Me: I hear you.
Him: You will also walk in there and apologize to your aunt!

He clicked his tongue and walked inside the house while I remained behind, what the fuck just happened? Even my own father has never laid a hand on me and this man just slapped me? No, I need to get out of this house, I would rather be a varsity dropout, I will return to my mother's house in Joburg, I'll look for a job, I will not tolerate this!

I wiped my tears and fixed my face and then walked inside the house as well, Aunty Mandisa attacked me with a hug as soon as I walked in.

Aunty Mandisa: Don't you ever scare me like that ever again do you hear me? Ntando you don't know anyone here in Durban! Why would you risk your life like that?
Me: I'm sorry Aunty, I should have at least called you.
Uncle Sfiso: I just gave her an earful, turns out she has a boyfriend.

Excuse me? I have a boyfriend?
Aunty Mandisa: You have a boyfriend?
Me: Uhm…
Her: You need to tell me all about him! So that's where you slept?

She kept talking and honestly I was just not in the mood, I was still stuck on that slap I had just received, we had breakfast and then I went to get ready for school.

I was so distracted even at school, how did we get here? When? Was Uncle Sfiso always like this? I just didn't understand the sudden hate, I mean yeah sure he might be angry about Shaka and I kissing, but this now seems deep and it's freaking me out.

I checked my balance on my banking App and calculated if I'd be able to afford a plane ticket and have some money to sustain me for a while back in Joburg while I looked for a job, my relationship with my father is currently okay, so maybe he can help me out?

One thing is certain, I am leaving Durban, we are not even halfway through the year and I'm already done with this place, I will not wait before that man takes his abuse even further.

"Peach."

My heart skipped a beat, my hands even trembled all of a sudden, I dropped the phone.

Shaka: Hey, hey are you okay?
Me: I'm.. I'm okay.
Shaka: Peach you just got startled when I called you and you started shaking as if… why would you be afraid of me?

I picked up my phone and clutched my bag in my hands, standing up, looking around as if I'd see Uncle Sfiso lurking in the corridors.

Shaka: Hey, hey what the hell is going on Peach?
Me: You're asking me what's going on? Shaka you slept with me and then disappeared!

He exhaled.
Shaka: Even so, what I did would not warrant a reaction like that, you look terrified!
Me: I'm not terrified! Listen, I need you to stay away from me.

Shaka: Is this about Slindile? I'm not marrying that girl Peach even if it's for the benefit of the family and the business, I will not marry someone I don't love, it's 2025 for heavens sake, there are so many ways to seal a business deal other than pleasure.

Me: I don't care whether you marry her or not Shaka! Honestly I dont give a shit!
Shaka: Peach, can we at least go to my apartment and talk about this?
Me; No, no, absolutely not! I am not going anywhere with you, Shaka you got what you wanted, now leave me alone!

I attempted to walk away but he stood infront of me, visibly offended.

Shaka: I got what I wanted?

Me: Shaka everybody knows you're a player, you're used to getting every girl you want, well you got me, your own cousin, you fooled me and got what you wanted, go and tattoo my name on your ribcage under the rest of the names of the girls you've conquered since you're a pvssy slayer!

His jaw tightened, I needed to say hurtful things to him so that he'd be mad at me and leave me alone, it's not like I meant everything that I said.

Shaka: Nah, this isn't you talking Peach, I refuse to believe a word you're saying to me right now, you're just trying to hurt me.
Me: Believe what you want.
Shaka: Dad threatened you didn't he?

Me: I don't know what you are talking about Shaka, I have to go, you had your fun, lied to me and took what you wanted from me which is a piece of me, I don't even know why I was so blinded, we are cousins you and I, we were never going to be anything else but cousins, you said so yourself!

Shaka: Peach, don't you fuvkin' dare! I love you! I want to be with you! I don't care about the family right now, I don't care about anyone but YOU!

He tried to hold my hand but I yanked it off quickly.
Shaka: Peach, I've never felt like this about anyone, the very first girl I had to fall for just had to be my own damn cousin, do you hear how crazy that sounds? It's fucked up! But I am willing to risk it because you're fuckin' worth it!

I shook my head with tears in my eyes.
Me: Shaka, we can't, you are my—
Shaka: I will be whatever you want me to be, all I want from you is for you to be mine!

I shook my head with tears in my eyes.
Me: Shaka, I lied okay? I don't love you! I just wanted you to make love to me so that I could have new memories when it comes to sex especially after Leano scarred me, I lied okay? You are my cousin, I would never be with you! Now leave me alone!

I walked away, literally running towards the student's bathroom, I got in there and just cried, not caring that there were other students in there.

[SHAKA 'PRIME' ZWANE]
"Shaka, I lied okay? I don't love you! I just wanted you to make love to me so that I could have new memories when it comes to sex especially after Leano scarred me, I lied okay? You are my cousin, I would never be with you! Now leave me alone!."

I threw the glass on the wall and it shattered,the pieces spilling on the floor, I ran my hands on my head as her words kept playing over and over my head.

She looked certain, as if she meant every word, she couldn't have meant every word right? I saw her! She fell inlove with me, day by day I saw her, she had this look in her eyes, she looked at me differently, even when we made love, she confessed that she loved me, she's definitely lying!

"I just wanted you to make love to me so that I could have new memories when it comes to sex especially after Leano scarred me, I lied okay? You are my cousin, I couldn't never be with you! Now leave me alone!."

I shook my head.
Me: No, no, no, that's a lie! That's a fuckin' lie!! You love me Peach I saw it! You're just scared! You're just fuckin' scared!!

I roared as I toppled the table over and everything landed on the floor, I kicked everything in my way, I punched the wall a couple of times and stopped when my knuckles went numb because of the bruising.

I slid down on the wall, looking at my bleeding knuckles and just cried, I was angry and overwhelmed!

Everything was just a mess and I didn't know what to do, as if that wasn't enough, dad went ahead and agreed to a marriage of convenience on my behalf, he made a business deal in my name! He will get tenders and become rich while I am stuck in a marriage with someone I don't love!

Slindile and I may have history but I don't want her, I wanted her once but as soon as I got her I wasn't that impressed, now I have to be stuck with that? She's an entitled daddy's girl! She doesn't know how to even talk to people normally, she always has to look down on them, she's a mean bully! And I have to marry her because my father said so?

I know he threatened Peach, I know he did and she's now scared of him, that's why she's saying everything that she's saying to me so that she can hurt me!

What Peach and I share is so strong, I felt it, she felt it, for weeks we both tried to deny it, but eventually gave in and now we have to let go of each other because of greedy businessmen and politicians?

My phone disturbed me from my thoughts, it was ringing, I slowly got up and went to answer it, it was my uncle, Dad's younger brother, Sbani.

Me: Baba omncane?

I winced, I was washing my hand in the sink and it was painful.
Baba omncane: Shaka omkhulu, oluma kwasani, I hear congratulations are in order?
Me: Mxm!
Him: You're not thrilled?
Me: Baba it's a marriage of convenience, with a girl I don't love and will never love.
Him: Your father said that you and this girl have history though?
Me: I fucked her once, never went back again, that should say a lot, obviously it's not just about the sex, she has a nasty attitude.
Him: Who is she?
Me: Who is who?
Him: The girl you're in love with, Shaka you're family oriented, you'd do anything for family, the fact that you don't want to do this, it means there's someone else, so who is she?

I exhaled and sat down, pouring myself another glass.
Me: She's my cousin.
Him: Cousin? Yey you're not speaking about my daughter are you?
Me(chuckles): Baba seriously? She's 15!

He laughed.
Me: She's my mother's niece, Ntando.
Him: Oh! Sfiso mentioned you'd be gaining a sister.
Me: Yeah, it's fuvked up isn't it?
Him: It is, I'm assuming you've already crossed the line?
Me(exhales): Yep! And your brother saw us on tape, well he saw us kissing outside the pool, probably threatened her and now she wants nothing to do with me, there's also this marriage thing so… yeah.
Him: Kodwa nawe Shaka, owegazi lomuntu.(You're related)
Me: Inhliziyo Baba, inhlizyo, it feels right, I tried to fight it but when we finally admitted it, it felt right, I'm sure there could have a been a way for us to be together traditionally, but I guess not now, I have a wife.

He exhaled, my phone beeped indicating another call.
Me: Baba, mom is calling, I'll call you back.
Him: You know what? I'll come and see you ndodana, so that we can talk face to face.
Me: I'd appreciate that Baba.

I dropped the call and answered Mom's call.
Mom: Shaka
Me: Yes.
Her(sighs): I don't know what's happening in this house, between your sister and your father, something is off, I need you to come here and talk to your sister, ask her, she trusts you.
Me: What do you mean mom?

Her: Last night, he asked her to help him with something upstairs, I didn't pay much attention to that, she took a while to return and when she did, her eyes were puffy like she had been crying, she and Slindile exchanged words about how Ntando is a fraud and shouldn't claim she's a creator or whatever and Ntando just snapped, leaving us all shocked and then drove off like you, except she slept out and your father said she has a boyfriend, like Shaka kuningi, Does she really have a boyfriend?

Me: There were trying something with Tumelo, so I'm not sure how that's going.
Her: Either way, these two are fighting, your father dismissed me and your sister won't talk, please come home, I know you said you needed time but–
Me: I'm coming.

I dropped the call and grabbed my keys and walked out to my car, I knew it! I fuckin' knew it! My father threatened Peach! He better not have laid his hands on her, the way she was so terrified earlier, kept looking around as well, I swear to God if he did, I'll forget he's my father.

Oh you've got to be kidding me! The khumalos are here? What for?

I was so annoyed as I got out of the car and went inside.
Nothando(smilling): Oh there he is! My handsome son inlaw! I cannot wait to see how cute your babies will be!
Me: Sanibona.
Slindile(smiles): Hey.
Me: Didn't know you'd be here?
Dad: Oh Ntando asked me to call them, she had something to say to them, you'd know if you had stayed for dinner last night instead of running off.

Ntando climbed down the stairs.
Ntando(politely): I'm sorry for keeping you waiting, uhm, Aunty Nothando nawe Slindile, I just wanted to apologise for what happened last night during dinner, I took out my frustrations on you and I shouldn't have, and for that I just wanted to apologize.

Aunt Nothando: Wow, uhm… Ntando there was absolutely no reason for you to even apologise.
Ntando: No, I had to, I had to, my behavior was uncalled for, please find it in your hearts to forgive me.
Slindile(smiles): I'm just glad that you saw your mistake and apologized, after all, we are about to become sisters.
Ntando: Thank you.
Mom: Right! If we can all just sit down and—
Me: Can I speak to my sister a little bit mom?
Mom(smiles): Of course.

I could tell dad wanted to say something but I had to ask Ntando about what mom said, we went outside, near my car.
Me: Peach.

She shook her head, holding her tears.
Me: What did he do? You kept looking at him as you were apologizing, I know damn well whatever you were apologizing for wasn't even your fault, what did he do? Did he hurt you? Peach, did he fuckin' touch you?

I was getting angry because she was crying, her hands literally shaking, that broke my heart.
Me(pleading): Peach please, tell me something! You know how I feel about people hurting or touching you, I don't care that he is my father, just tell me what he fuckin' did because mom suspects he's done something and your reaction just confirmed it!

She ran back inside the house, I followed her and she was climbing up the stairs, Mom looked at me and I shook my head, she went after her, I glanced at dad and he was cool as a cucumber, my fists were burning for him.

Slindile: So hubby I was thinking that—
Me: Fuck off.

I walked out.