CH06

BURNING BLUE.
BY BELLA ROYALTY.
06.

[SHAKA 'PRIME' ZWANE]
I got out of the car and thanked the driver and watched as he drove away and then walked to the gate and rang the bell, it was opened and I got in.

As soon as the gate closed, Ntando walked out of the door.
Ntando: What the hell did you do Shaka?
Me: Uhm… well good afternoon to you too—
Ntando(crying): Good afternoon? Are you serious?
Me(confused): Ntando, what the hell is happening? Is this about me not answering your call last night?

I was dumbfounded honestly.
Ntando(crying): You had my bestfriend ráped Shaka!!!

She broke down, oh…wait how did she hear about that because last time I checked she had no contact with those people.
Ntando: You're not even going to try and deny it?
Me: How do you know about that?

Ntando: I may not have contact with my friends because they are associated with Leano but I do have contact with my father and he's a detective and he called me and told me the news that both Leano and Lerato were found in some dodgy building, tied up and assaulted! I thought the main target was Leano! You know the guy who hurt me! Why go after an innocent girl?

Me: Because you were also an innocent girl but did that stop him Ntando? I wanted him to experience the same thing I was experiencing, feeling helpless, watching you break down because of what that scumbag did to you! He should have thought about his sister before he forced himself on you!

She chuckled through the tears.
Ntando: She was innocent! Do you know what you've done?
Me: I avenged you.
Ntando: What makes you different from Leano?
Me: Ntando, I take offense to that, I would never force myself on anyone!

Ntando: Well you just did! You might as well have been the one who forced yourself on that poor, innocent girl! You have ruined someone's life Shaka so you're not different from that monster in fact you're a monster yourself! I said chop his dick not ruin his innocent sister!

She walked away and I exhaled.
Me: I am still failing to understand what I did wrong here?

I slowly walked inside the house and went to my room to grab my car keys and I drove out of the house while texting Tumelo to meet me at the Car Wash.

____
Tumelo: This could work in your favor.
Me: I don't see how?
Tumelo: She hates you now.

I laughed while shaking my head.
Tumelo: No, seriously, she hates you which means whatever fantasy she had about you in her head will vanish as well, you hurt her friend, she sees you as a monster as well.

Me: I hope so, even though I'm honestly failing to understand what I did wrong here, so it's okay for Leano to go around assaulting people's sisters and daughters but when he is fed the same poison it's a crime?

Tumelo: That's her best friend Shaka, no one wants their best friend to go through something like that, she doesn't understand your reasoning, you see now after this, Leano will never assault anyone else because he's going to experience first hand how a person who's been violated behaves.

Me: Maybe I should explain that to Ntando?
Tumelo: You'll go back to being her hero and then what?

I exhaled.
Me: I feel you.
Tumelo: Be scarce from now on, even when you're at home, be distant, treat her like a COUSIN.
Me: You're right, thank you man.
Tumelo: I'll swoop in like a hero.

I laughed.
Me: Wow! We both know you're no hero, you're just as much of a monster as I am.
Tumelo: But she doesn't know that and she doesn't need to.
Me: And you think she won't ever figure it out? That I do everything with you guys?
Tumelo: Let me handle my girlfriend.
Me(laughs): For all we know she might reject you.
Tumelo: People love Iron Man, but there are some that love Steve Roger's discipline, I got this.

We laughed.
Me: She thinks Steve Rogers is the leader of the Avengers.
Tumelo: Because he is, you're being fooled by Tony Stark's charm and suit, we both know who's running the show, his name begins with captain.
Me(laughs): Weeh ay you guys will make a great couple then.

I immediately frowned when I saw Khanya approaching our table, my day was immediately ruined.
Khanya(smiles): Gents.
Tumelo: Khanya.
Khanya: Mind if I join you?
Me: Please don't.
Khanya: Prime, you've been ignoring me.
Tumelo: I need to go for a leak.

He stood up and walked away and Khanya sat on his seat.
Me: I needed time!
Khanya: Oh because we have the luxury of that right? Well since you've been dragging your feet, I went ahead and made the appointment, it's on Wednesday.
Me: You are aborting?
Khanya: I thought you'd be happy.

Me: Whatever, your body, your choice anyway, but let me not be blamed for that years later when you desperately want a child and you can't have one.
Khanya: It'll be a safe procedure, a legal one.
Me: Good for you, now get lost, I don't ever want to see your face ever again.

She looked at me shocked.
Me: Yini? I don't befriend child murderers Khanya and that's what you will be if you go ahead with the abortion.
Khanya: I will not have a child with someone who doesn't want me.

Me: What's important? Me being your boyfriend or me being a present father? I can already tell that you'll be a bad mother, you're already making this about you, did I not say that we are in this together? That I'll play my part?

Khanya: That won't be enough! For someone who was raised by two parents under one roof you don't seem to want that for your child! Well I was raised by a single parent, I don't want that for my child!

Me: Your father left and I promised to stay! Don't compare the two! Tell me uzogezwa ubani when you've had that abortion?

She swallowed.
Me: Just admit it Khanya, this isn't about us not being in a relationship, it's about you, you feel like having a child will derail you somehow, it'll ruin your perfect figure and guys won't see you anymore, right? To hell about what I think and what that child deserves.

She looked down.
Me: Do not do this abortion Khanya, if you're not ready for a child, carry it and then give it to me, we will raise it ourselves ekhaya.
Khanya: I'm doing this, after all it's my body, my choice.

She stood up and left and I exhaled, such a selfish human being! Tumelo returned.
Tumelo: How did that go?

Me: She's killing my child all because I won't agree for us to be in a relationship, she tried to trap me with a child here, thinking if she fell pregnant we'd be an item and now that I've made things clear, she's mad and going on a killing spree, she even tried to blackmail with the single parent nonsense, I swear girls will stay proving just how dumb they can be.

Tumelo: That's messed up, but you know what I think?
Me: What?
Tumelo: If you don't want her to abort, tell her family, involve her family in this, she won't do it.
Me: You reckon?
Tumelo: Her mother is a church going woman, I don't think she believes in killing an innocent child, once they've gotten through her, make her sign over her rights as a parent and take your child.
Me: That's a thought, bakusolani shame? (You're smart, why do they doubt you?)

We laughed.

[NTANDOKAZI NGEMA]
I can't believe Shaka would do this, Lerato is innocent in all of this and now she had to suffer for her brother's sins?

I am a girl and what I went through is terrible I wouldn't even wish for it on my worst enemy, yes Lerato wasn't a virgin anymore but she didn't deserve this at all, I don't even know how I'm going to survive with this guilt, of knowing what happened to her and why.

When dad told me this morning I couldn't believe it, I thought Shaka would just deal with Leano and that would be it, but nope, he kidnapped both of them, had Leano watch as his sister was violated in front of him, he was then violated as well and had his thing chopped off.

For some reason, Leano told the police that the people who did this, had masks on, they weren't talking much about why they were doing this, I doubt that's the case, maybe they threatened him?

Because why would he not tell the police the truth? I know Shaka might have said something that suggested that their kidnapping was associated with what Leano did to me. Why didn't he tell my father and the police the truth?

Should I be worried? That one day he might come for me? This revenge thing was a mistake, now I have to live in fear. What if Lerato knows she was assaulted because of me?

Now I'm stressed all over again.

I decided to reinstate all my social media platforms, I needed to know what was happening back in Joburg, I also wanted to call Lerato and find out how she is, at the end of the day that's my best friend and what happened to her is terrible, or maybe I'm just feeling guilty about this whole thing.

Since Monday I have to be at school for orientation week, Aunty Mandisa suggested that we go to the mall today for some retail therapy, so we've just returned from the mall. I had my hair done, nails, and I got a few new outfits as well.

God bless my aunt for trying to cheer me up, especially after that nightmare I had last night about Shaka and I being intimate.

You know the crush is bad when you start having wet dreams about your crush, in this case it's disgusting because Shaka is my cousin, my aunt's son, which makes him my brother.

Aunty Mandisa and I came back with some takeouts so I was dishing everything up, when Shaka walked in, I honestly didn't know how to act especially after our altercation earlier, I think I've just made things even more weird between us.

At the end of the day, he was trying to help, he did what he did for me and I called him a monster.

He was about to walk past me without saying a word, which meant he was angry.
Me: Shaka.

He stopped and looked at me.
Me: About earlier
Shaka: Save it Ntando, save it! After everything I've done for you, you called me a monster, said I was no different than Leano, you compared me to a ràpist Ntando, you insulted me!

Gosh, he was livid, I thought he would have calmed down by now, worse he wasn't even shouting, his voice was so calm yet filled with venom.

Me: I know Shaka, and believe me I'm really grateful for what you did for me, I had no right to compare you to Leano, it's just…
Shaka: You're fuckin' ungrateful wena Ntando, that's your problem!

Me(emotional): Shaka, I'm sorry but nawe you have to take accountability for your actions! What you did was wrong! Lerato was innocent in all of this and now she will be scarred for the rest of her life! What if she doesn't have a support system like you in her life and she spirals and ends up committing suicide? What then Shaka? That will be on my conscience as well!

He looked away.
Me: I just… you're not a monster okay? But you didn't have to drag the poor girl into this as well.
Shaka: From now on you're on your own Ntando, you insulted me and I don't take kindly to being insulted, I'm done being your emotional crutch and protector.

What?
Me(crying): But I need you Shaka, I'm sorry for calling you a monster and saying you're no different than Leano, please don't do this.
Shaka: I'm done, Mzala.
Me: Shaka please don't do this, you're throwing your hands on me because of—
Shaka: Don't even dare Ntando! Don't even dare utter those words with your mouth! Now you'll use that rápe victim card?

I looked down with tears in my eyes.
Me: Shaka, I need you.
Shaka: You need help, you need therapy, you need to get busy, luckily schools are reopening soon so you'll have your hands full with school work, you will be okay.

I wiped my tears.
Me: I feel like it's more than what happened earlier though.

He looked at me for a while and then got closer to me, I held my breath and stepped back a little.
Shaka: I'm distancing myself because you don't see me as a cousin anymore, and it's getting weird.
Me(trembling): What?
Shaka: Ntando I am your cousin brother, that's all I'll ever be to you, until you sort out whatever you're going through that has you so confused, stay the fuck away from me.

He walked away and I placed my hand over my mouth, embarrassment and shock engulfing me, how did he know I had developed a crush on him? Oh this was so embarrassing!

How will I look at him now? What have I done? This is bad! I wasn't that obvious now was I?

I heard voices approaching the kitchen and I wiped my tears as fast as I could and tried to compose myself. I was so embarrassed, Shaka must think I'm weird.

Aunty Mandisa: I was coming to help you, seems like you're done already, let me just help you take these to the lounge.
Me: Okay.
Aunty Mandisa: Are you okay baby?
Me(smiles): Yeah, I'm fine aunty, I'm good don't worry.

She nodded and helped me with the plates, Shaka was already seated with his father laughing at something, I gave him his plate and he looked at me, I quickly walked away from him, if I don't catch my heart jumping out of my mouth soon, I'll regard myself as the strongest person out there.

I finally sat down, thankfully not opposite him. We began eating. I didn't even take two bites of my food. Something in me moved and it was coming out fast, I placed my hand over my mouth and rushed to the nearest bathroom here downstairs and started vomiting.

Aunty Mandisa: Are you okay baby?
Me(coughing): I don't know, I feel sick…
Aunty Mandisa: Have you ever had sea food before?
Me: No.
Aunty Mandisa: Not everyone likes sea food, especially the smell of prawns, maybe that's it.

I washed my face and rinsed my mouth.
Me: I will just make a sandwich for myself instead.
Aunty Mandisa: I think that will help as well, Ntando?
Me: Aunty?
Her: Are you sexually active yet?

I swallowed.
Me: No.
Her: Oh thank God, I almost thought you might be pregnant.

What? Oh God let it not be…my day just keeps getting worse!