Deadly obsession ,Chapter 41
I wake up to an empty bed. Zibusiso is gone, and his things are missing from the room. Panic rose in my chest as I realized he has left without telling me. I reache for my phone to call him, but my call went unanswered. I let out a sigh of frustration and disappointment.I get out of bed and headed to the bathroom to take a shower. The hot water felt good on my skin, but it couldn't wash away the feeling of abandonment I was feeling.
After getting dressed, I had no appetite for breakfast. I went to the transport area and found my ride. I sat in the back, staring out the window the whole way to the university. When I arrive, I went straight to class and sat through the morning sessions, but my mind was elsewhere. I couldn't focus on the lectures - I was too worried about Zibusiso.
At break time, I took out my phone and tried to call him again, but there was still no answer. I started to feel more and more anxious. Where was he? What had happened?why would he leave without telling me.
Break time was over I went back to attended and the day kept dragging slowly after my classes ended I got up to leave the class, relieved that the day was finally over. But then I saw Glan in the hallway. Oh no, I thought. I really didn't want to talk to him today.
Glan:"Hey there!" he greets, waving.
Me"Hi, Glan," I reply, trying to sound friendly.
Glan:"Are you okay?" he asks, looking concerned. "You seem a bit off."
Me:"I'm fine," I say, trying to brush him off. "I just want to go home. I'll see you tomorrow."
I turned and started walking away,
Glan:"Wait!" Glan called out, stopping me in my tracks. I turn back to face him, feeling my frustration growing.
Me:"What is it, Glan?" I ask, trying to sound patient.
Glan"I just want to make sure you're okay," he says, looking worried. "You seem upset right now and I want to make sure you're really okay."
I take a deep breath and try to force a smile.
Me: "I appreciate your concern," I say "but I'm really just tired. I'm okay."
Glan:"Okay," he says, looking unconvinced. "If you're sure," he says, still not convinced. "Just know that I'm here for you if you need anything, okay?"
I nod, feeling guilty for snapping at him.
Me:"I know, and I appreciate it. I just need some time to myself right now. Thanks for understanding."
He smiles, and for the first time I saw that he seem to really believe me.
Glan:"No problem," he says. "I hope you feel better soon."
I smile back.
Me: "Thanks, Glan," I say, and then turn and walk away.
I breathe a sigh of relief as I walked to my transport and get in it drives me to my apartment.....
--------------------A MONTH LATER------------------------
It had been a month since Zibusiso had stopped talking to me, and I still had no idea what I had done to upset him. I had tried calling him and texting him so many times, but he never responded. I had started to feel miserable and stressed out, and I was grateful that Glan had been there for me during this time. I had grown closer to him, and I appreciated his friendship more than ever.
Now, it was the end of the semester and I was on my way back to Cape Town. I was excited to go home, but I was also nervous. What if Zibusiso is still angry with me? Would he even talk to me? I pushed these thoughts out of my head and focused on enjoying the ride home. I gazed out the window, taking in the beautiful scenery of the South African countryside.
I pushe my suitcase along the walkway towards the front door. I knock, but there is no answer. I wait for a few minutes, but still no one came to the door. I felt a sinking feeling in my stomach. Was no one home? I try calling Zibusiso again, but still, no answer.
I seat down on the front steps and sigh. What am I going to do? I'm not sure if I should wait or go somewhere else. I decided to give it a few more minutes before I make a decision. I look at my phone, hoping for a call or text from Zibusiso,but nothing .
I spent 2 hours waiting ,I decide to take my bags and go to Noma's house but a car pull up at the gate its Zibusiso 's car I sigh in relief ,he drives in and packs the car .He gets off and walk to the door.
Him:"Hi" that's him greeting me no kiss or hug nothing just "Hi"
Me:"Hey, babe," I say, trying to keep my voice light and upbeat. But inside, my heart was breaking. It felt like a knife had been plunged into my chest.
He opens the door and walked inside without even looking at me. I follow him inside, my suitcase dragging behind me.
Me:"Where were you?" I ask, trying to break the tension. But he didn't respond. He just walked into the kitchen and started making coffee."Zibusiso I'm talking to you"I say
Him:"Are you talking to me or asking me?"he says I look at him blankly
Me:"Babe?what is happening ?"I ask he chuckles
Him:"Don't ask me that,ask yourself Sukoluhle "he says passing me and go seat on the couch.
Me: "Babe, I don't understand what's going on. Please talk to me," I plead. But he just shrugged and looked at the tv.
Him:"I don't know what to tell you, Sukoluhle," he says. "I'm just not in the mood to talk right now."
His words felt like a slap in the face. I felt my face turn red with anger and my eyes filled with tears.
Me:"I don't understand," I say, my voice shaking. "What did I do wrong?You have been ignoring me for a month Zibusiso ,what did I do tell me please"
Him:"Can't you see you have changed ?Since when we lie to each other Suku?You go out with a boy and lie to me that you are attending "
Me:"Babe," I start to say, but he held up his hand to stop me.
Him:"Just listen to me," he says. "You've changed. We used to be able to talk to each other about anything, but now you're keeping secrets from me. You're going out with other guys and lying to me about it. That's not the relationship we had before."
I felt my heart sink as I listened to his words. He was right - I had been keeping things from him, and I knew it wasn't fair to him. But I was scared to tell him the truth. I was afraid of I was afraid of what he might think of me. I was afraid of losing him. But I knew I had to be honest with him. I took a deep breath and spoke.
Me:"You're right, Zibusiso," I say. "I have changed, and I'm sorry. I've been lying to you because I'm scared of losing you. But that's no excuse. I should have been honest with you from the beginning."
I look up at him, hoping to see a hint of forgiveness in his eyes. But he just looked away from me, his face hard and cold.
Him:"I don't know if I can trust you anymore," he said, his voice cracking. "I thought we had something special, but now I don't know what to believe. I thought we could be open and honest with each other, but now I don't know if I can ever trust you again."
I felt my heart break into a million pieces. I wanted to reach out and hold him, to tell him that I would never lie to him again.
Me:"Baby hear me out please---"
Him:"Maybe we should have ended things before you went to Dubai," he says, his voice full of sadness. "You should be free to have fun and enjoy your youth, and I'm not the person to give you that. I'm just an old, boring guy who doesn't know how to have a good time. Maybe it's time we both move on."
My heart sank even further as he speaks. I want to tell him that he not old and boring, that he was funny and smart and one of the most interesting people I knew.
Me:"No, Zibusiso, please don't say that!" I plead. "I love you, and I only want to be with you. I know I lied to you and I kept lying, but I never cheated on you. Glan is just a friend, and he's fun to be around. I would never betray you like that."
Him:"But you did betray me," he says, his voice breaking. "You betrayed my trust, and I don't know if I can ever get that back. I love you, Suku, but I'm not sure if we can ever go back to the way we were"
Me:"We can go back to the way we were," I say, my voice shaking . "We've always had our disagreements, and we've always fought, but we've always worked through it. Why can't we just argue like we used to, without breaking up being on the table? I don't want to lose you, Zibusiso."
He was silent for a moment, and I held my breath, waiting for his response. Then, he looks at me and say,
Him:"I don't want to lose you either, Suku. But I'm scared. I'm scared that if we keep fighting like this, it will only get worse," Zibusiso says. "I don't want to lose you, but I also don't want to be in a relationship where we're constantly fighting and always on edge. I want us to be happy, and I don't know how to get there from here."
I felt tears well up in my eyes. I want the same thing he did - for us to be happy together. But I didn't know how to make that happen either. I was at a loss for words.
Me:"I'm so sorry, baby," I say, my voice cracking. "I promise I won't have any male friends anymore. I want to make things work between us. I want to be happy with you. Please, let's try to fix this."
Zibusiso sighs and look down at his hands.
Him:"No, I don't want to be the boyfriend who chooses your friends for you," Zibusiso says, looking at me with a pained expression. "You should be free to have friends, and I don't want to control that. But I think it's best if we break up. I love you, but I think it's for the best if we just love each other from a distance. Please don't fight me on this. I want you to do well in school and get your law degree so you can make me proud."
I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Zibusiso was breaking up with me."I hope you find a boyfriend who's as handsome and as kind as I am," he says with a bittersweet smile. "You deserve someone who will treat you right. I just don't think that person is me."
Hearing him say these words felt like a punch to the gut. I can't believe this is happening. I love Zibusiso with all my heart, and now he is breaking up with me. I felt like I am going to crumble into a million pieces.
Me:"I love you," I say, my voice shaking. "I don't want to lose you."
he stands up, lean down, and kiss me deeply. I felt a rush of emotions - sadness, confusion, and love. I didn't know what to do or say. I just stand there, frozen in place. Then, he pulls away and look into my eyes.
him:"I'll be back for my things later," he says, his voice low and soft. "Take care of yourself. I'll always love you."
With that, he turned and walked up out, leaving me standing there alone. I can't believe what had just happened. My heart felt like it was breaking into a million pieces...
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