Deadly obsession ,Chapter 11
SUKOLUHLEI've been attending ,catching up for the week I didn't attend.
Zibusiso has been acting a bit distant lately. He keeps saying he's giving me space, but the truth is, I don't want space. I want him close by my side. I don't know what to do to get things back to how they were.He gets home late from work . Sometimes, he doesn't come home at all. If he does come home, he makes sure to arrive after I've gone to bed, or when I'm not around. I know he's trying to give me space, but it still makes me feel sad. He doesn't call or check on me, no nothing. I guess he really meant that he's giving me space. But I don't want space I want him beside me.
I pack up my books. I was in the library. I haven't been eaten all day,Lubanzi is absent today,the way I'm bored and feeling lonely ..
Anyways I wait for my transport to take me back home.I arrive home and head inside. I find Mam Hilda and greet her, then walk to my room. As I pass Zamo's room, I hear her giggling and talking. I open her door, and she's staring at her tablet, video chatting with someone. She looks up at me and smiles.
Zamo: 'Sis Suku, you're back!' she says, her face lit up. 'I'm talking to Uncle Zibusiso,' she says. I smile back at her, trying to hide the pain I feel knowing he's chosen to chat with her instead of me.I hear Zibusiso's voice through the tablet, saying, ''Tell Sis Suku to come closer, I want to talk to her, too!'' I refuse and go to my room instead. It hurts to know that he's chatting with Zamo instead of calling me, but I don't know why it bothers me so much.
I get to my room and change in to comfortable clothes. I haven't even eaten. I don't have appetite. Let me try sleeping because I keep checking my phone for Zibusiso to call.
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I'm in deep sleep but I'm woken up by a knock. I click my phone and it's almost 8pm. Wow I slept for that long. The knock again.
Me:" I'm coming. "I say in a sleepy voice.
I rub my eyes and walk to the door
I open the door. A smell of his signature cologne hits me.
Me: "Oh hi "
Zibusiso : "Hey. May I come in?"
I nod.He walking inside. I sit on the bed. And he closes the door.
He sits on the bed leaving space between us.
Zibusiso :" How are you ? ",I shrug my shoulders
He nods. There is silence.
Me: "I don't want space anymore."
I say looking at him with teary eyes .
Zibusiso :"But sthandwa-
Me: "Cha Zibusiso . I want you to be with me. Do you know how sad I get when you don't contact me the whole day?You only talk to Zamo only,you avoid me everyday .
Zibusiso : "Ngiyaxolisa I thought I was doing the right thing."
My tears fall.
He comes close to me
Zibusiso:" I thought giving you space is going to help you atleast forget?.
Me:"But nothing is helping Zibusiso ,I can't forget about anything .Everything is just still the same"
Zibusiso:"shhhh...its okay ,you'll get through this I promise. You're strong Suku. I know you'll get through this okay?"
Me: "Okay." It came out as a whisper.
He pulls me close to his chest.
Zibusiso : "Maybe you should see a therapist. I'll book a slot for you for tomorrow. I'll find the best one for you."
Me: "you think so?"
Zibusiso : "Only if you're comfortable and ready to talk about it"
Me: "Okay. I'm scared but I'm willing to try."
He kisses the top of my head.
I stay in his embrace for a long time until he breaks the silence
Zibusiso :"Have you eaten today,don't dare lie?"
Me: "Uhm no."
Zibusiso :"Ngenye into ezosixabanisa mina nawe."he takes my hand helping me get up."Come lets go eat ."
Me: "I'm not hungry nje "
Zibusiso : "Soxabana."
I let him dragg me to the kitchen ..
He dishes up the food . And he is literally forcing food down my throat feeding me.
Me: " I'm full now."
Zibusiso : "After few spoons"
I sulk but he won't give up.
He feeds me and finishes up the Rest himself.
After we ate i was feeling sleepy.He suggested we go to his bedroom ,I don't refuse.I get under the covers,He got behind me. After taking his shoes. He had sweatpants on he just took of his hoodie. And placed a little pillow between him and I. Specifically between my **** and his bulge.
I feel the pillow.
Me: "What's with the pillow manje ?"
Zibusiso : " I don't want to make uncomfortable."
Me: Oh...mhhhk.
He then wraps his arms around me and cuddles me.
It feels weird. I'm close but not too close . I wanna feel his body heat.
I feel him relaxing his arms after a few minutes. He is falling asleep . I decide to risk my trigger and I remove the pillow. I startled him.
Zibusiso :" What are you doing Suku?" He says in his sleepy voice.
I get close to him. And my body pressed against him. Holding his arms around me.
Zibusiso : "Suku this---"
Me: "Shh. Goodnight Uncle Zibusiso "
He chuckles.
I felt him getting hard.
Zibusiso :" You see what I was avoiding ?" Me:"Sorry."I say giggling
He scoots away a little. I scoot closer. Pressing my **** against him.
Zibusiso : "Are you okay?"
He asks in a shaky breath. He can't breathe.
Me: "I'm perfectly fine"I say still giggling
I feel him hesitate but he moves closer and presses himself against me. Wrapping his arms tight.
Zibusiso : "tell me if you feel uncomfortable." He kisses my cheek
I close my eyes and let him cuddle me. With a boner ofcourse. I feel like I'm torturing him but hey I missed him.
We eventually fall asleep. To my surprise I slept peacefully without any triggers or bad dreams.
The morning came,Zibusiso left after shoving breakfast down my throat . I just finished getting ready for school.
Anyways grab my things,my transport arrives also Mam Hilda arrives.
.......
...........
The day went on and on,like always .Its afternoon Lubanzi left first,I sat at the bench waiting for my transport .
After a few I see Zibusiso's car parking infront of me. I can see and hear my classmates and Some are shocked to see me walk to a beautiful Mercedes AMG E53. I open the door and get in.
Me: "I didn't believe when you said you are picking me up on your text".
Zibusiso: "well here I am,unjani " He saysits leaning close for a kiss. I smile and push his face away,he laughed.
Me: Ngiyaphila wena?
I say
Zibusiso: "I'm okay too. Usudlile?"
Me: "yes I did"
He squints his eyes looking at me.
Me:"what?I'm serious you can ask Lubanzi if you don't believe me we ate before he left"
Zibusiso : "i can take my phone and call Andile and tell him to ask Lubanzi if you are telling the truth..but no I believe you. Let's go."he says
Me:"wait why ask Andile to ask Lubanzi?"I ask looking at him he smirks and shrug his shoulders
Zibusiso:"I don't know"
Me:"Is there something going on between Andile and Lubanzi ?"
Zibusiso :"I never said that..."he says smiling and that smile means only one thing..wow and Lubanzi chose to hide this from me ?I'm going to confront him...
He starts the engine and drives us to a therapist he says he got for me....
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ANDILE
I don't know what I'm doing with this kid, but I'm really enjoying it. I never expected to enjoy spending time with someone like this, but I do. It's been a long time since I've had a real connection with someone. Usually, I prefer one-night stands and casual flings, but this is different. I can't get him out of my head.
Even chatting with him isn't boring at all, unlike with most people, who I usually get bored talking to after a few minutes. But with this kid, it's different. I can chat with him for hours, and I never get tired of texting him every day. Our conversations flow smoothly, and we just seem to click. He's also really mature for his age, and I find him fascinating and interesting.
I know some of you may be shocked to find out that I'm not straight. In case you're wondering, I identify as "homoflexible," which means I'm attracted to both genders, but mostly to the same gender. And I'm not the only one who feels this way - there are many people who identify as homoflexible or somewhere in between gay and straight.
My parents and I have had many arguments over this. I don't understand why they can't just accept me for who I am. They've tried to talk to me about it, even taking me to churches to try to "cure" me when I was growing up. They said I had a demon inside me that was making me this way. But that's not true - this is just who I am, and no one can change that."
I know that my parents just want what's best for me, but I wish they could accept me for who I am. They've even tried setting me up on dates with girls, thinking that if I just found the right girl, I would change my mind. But that's not how it works. I just want them to love and accept me, regardless of my sexuality.
to be continued.
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