CHAPTER FOUR

I have been awake for close to an hour, just laying on the bed and looking up. I can hear some voices in the house but nothing is urging me to wake up and check who has come to visit Nkosi. And anyway, if it were someone he wanted me to meet, he would have come and woken me up. Although, I wouldn't have appreciated that. I sit up straight and reach for my phone on the nightstand. I remember putting it on silent before going to bed because I hate being woken up, especially for something that won't help change my situation. I see a text from Nkokheli, a call from my mother and a whatsapp text from Lele. I decide to answer Nkokheli's text and ask him to tell mom that I'm okay. I'll hear what Lele has to say, when I get to work. 'Oh great, you're up,' Nkosi says as he perches up next to me. 'I have something to show you,' He says, already getting up from the bed. He grabs both my hands and pulls me up from the bed.

I hope whatever he is waking me up for, is worth it. I ungrudgingly get up from bed. I head to the closet to get something to wear before following him out the room, hopefully these sweat pants and tshirt will suffice for his guest. In the living room, a rack full of formal dresses catches my attention and I forget to pay heed to the woman standing next to it. And on the floor, atop the rug, different types of heels are lined beneath the dresses. 'Uhuru, this is Lumka,' he introduces us. I smile softly at the young woman, not bothering to look at her any longer. I wonder how Nkosi knows her. 'So, Mr Nzimande has informed me that you need a look for your graduation ceremony. I managed to find a couple of formal dresses and you look like a size small, these will definitely fit.' Lumka says rampaging through the rack before she pulls out a skimpy red dress and holds it up for me.

I look at Nkosi and find him looking at me with a smile. He knows very well that I don't want to attend the graduation ceremony but I will try not to embarrass him infront of whoever this woman is. 'Red will go well with your complexion,' Lumka says, sizing me up. I shake my head and begin to look through the rack. 'I wear skimpy red dresses for a living, can't do those any longer.' I pull out a black maxi dress that appears to have an open back and a little slit. And look down to find matching heels when my eyes lock on a pair of block heels with clear straps and heels. I pick them up and turn to both Lumka and Nkosi. 'There, I know a thing or two about style.' Nkosi steps closer to me, his arms wrapping around my waist and he pulls me flush against him. He knows I am going to have his head for dinner, this is just him trying to soften me up.

'Ah alright, it seems we are done. Mr Nzimande, I will send you a quote for the outfit. And miss, very nice to meet you,' she says before pushing the rack out. Nkosi begins packing the shoes into a basket, in which he hands to Lumka as he shows her out. I throw the dress and heels on top of the couch and sit on the armrest as I wait for him to return. Something in me is burning and I can't decide whether its jealousy or anger from him treating me like a child. The moment he walks back in, the little smile on his face slowly fades. 'That look means I fucked up.' He says, making his way towards me. Our relationship is probably socially unacceptable, hence we keep it secret. It was mandatory for Nkokheli to know about him because he's bat-shit crazy and he has to know every single detail about my life. And regardless of our age gap, Nkosi allows me to react, feel and correct him when he's wrong, which I appreciate.

'You can't keep doing all these things for me. I really don't want to go to the graduation, its not just about the money.' He smiles gently and settles next to me. 'Well, we can't have the student who graduated with the highest laude not attend the graduation. The founder of the company that was responsible for your bursary will be there and as I said, I'll help you with your speech.' I frown at him because I know that he's right, I can't miss the ceremony. 'Fine, but once I start working, I'm paying you back.' I get up from the couch and walk away from him when he grabs my arm and gently pulls me back so I sit on his lap. This somehow reminds me of the very first time he and I got intimate. We were in his office, sitting next to each other while he was helping me with my module.

I don't know what sparked our little argument but we argued and then we both grew silent after throwing stones at each other. I decided that it was time to leave and went on to pack my study material when he grabbed my arm and pulled me flush against him. I froze when I felt his lips on mine, startled more than anything but when he swiftly placed me atop his desk and kissed me once more, I let him. I was expecting nothing more from him after that and I was honestly not even looking for any sort of relationship and so we decided that we would just go with the flow. Months later, we are still going with the flow, except he uses every opportunity he can to tell me that he loves me. 'I'm doing these things for you because I want to, not because I want something from you, Uhuru.'

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Nkosi pulls at the parking, which is technically the side of the road. I thank him and make means to step outside the car when he grabs my arm. 'Uhuru,' I turn around to face him. The sun is already setting but its still bright enough to attract the men of the hour, for their money of course. 'You know, every time you have to step inside that building, I fear I might lose you.' The look in his eyes tell me all that I need to know, he's scared and he probably needs reassurance. It must be hard on him, being with a younger girl whose work is to basically serve men drinks and then somehow entertain them. I smile softly at him and take his hand into mine, squeezing it gently. 'Well, I'm not going anywhere and you are not going to lose me.' He looks away from me. 'I feel like I have already lost you. You constantly run away from me, with every opportunity you get. Its like you tolerate me for whatever reason.'

I did not expect that Nkosi and I would ever have a conversation like this, most certainly not when I am right outside of work and I am getting late. I have never really been good with words, my actions always spoke for me. 'I'm here with you and I always will be.' I hold his chin and press a kiss against his lips. His face mirrors mine as he smiles along with me. 'Alright, let me go before I become unemployed,' I say as I step out of the car. I think I heard him say that it wouldn't be such a bad idea and I laugh at him and shake my head. I try to pull my black mini dress down before walking into the club, greeting Menzi. I head to the locker room to put away my bags before getting started with work. The atmosphere is nice and relaxed.

As I lean against the bar, scanning my surroundings, I find myself glaring at the VIP section. Clouds of smoke are hovering around the section as the men clad in suits are smoking cigars. There is only one bottle of whisky on the table, which is quite odd. So I put on my best smile and waltz towards the group of high end men. 'Good evening gentlemen, may I offer you a bottle of whisky and some of our finest cuban cigars?' I ask, presenting them a bottle of one of our most expensive whisky. My eyes lock with brown and incredibly intense eyes. A shiver runs down my spine as I watch him take in my appearance. The man leans back on the couch, spreading his legs further before his free hand grabs his clothed crotch, massaging it slightly. I'm afraid my morals have run out the window as I watch this gentleman clad in a chocolate brown suit, seduce me.