27
TWO QUEENS IN MY CASTLE 27RAYMOND
"Are you going to tell me what happened earlier?" I ask Yolanda while we're in the bathroom. She has been dodging the party since the incident and I need some answers.
"Just a bitter ex," she says.
"A bitter ex at my party? How dare he?"
"He won't bother us again. I promise you baby and I don't want you to ruin your special day."
"So why do you keep on avoiding me?"
"I'm not. I just thought you wanted to attend to your other guests," she sighs.
"You're my top priority plus they're already drunk. How about you and I go to the bedroom and see how we can distress," I wrap my arms around her.
"Yeah but not now. It's still early and we'll end up missing the party."
"I don't want to lose you again, Yoli. I'm not trying to play games with you because I know what I want. If you want me, make it clear and if you don't, say it now. I cannot be having your exes gate crashing my events like this."
"But he didn't gate crash, he was a plus one," she says.
"That doesn't matter. Make up your mind because I'm too old for games."
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KABELO
I spent the night doing some self introspection and I realised this isn't the man I am. Somehow I've changed and I completely dislike the version I've become. I'm going to the graveyard to clean. Ora has other plans so I didn't even want to bother her. Maybe venting to my late parents will do me some good because I'm on the wrong track.
"Good morning," I greet her as I walk into the kitchen.
"Hi big brother. Did you have a good rest? I mean I saw your light on when I went to the bathroom after midnight," she says.
"I was just thinking about some stuff but I'm okay."
"Do you have any plans for today?"
"Yeah I'll be going to to the graveyard after breakfast. I woke up missing them."
"I miss them too but I'm sorry I can't join you," she says.
"I know. You told me about your plans yesterday. It's alright we can go together next time."
"I...I saw Thandeka yesterday."
"Mmh."
"She was with this other guy and..."
"It's okay. Thandeka and I are not together so it doesn't bother me if she's seeing someone else," I cut in.
"Kabelo what's really going on? It's like you're stressing about something and you're not telling me."
"I'm fine. I realised I need to grow up and I can't do that with women distracting me in life. Both Yolanda and Thandeka are no longer in my life so you don't have to worry about it."
"I met someone," she says with a smile.
"Oh! I hope he's your age."
"He's three years older than me. He's a great guy and I'd really love for you two to meet. Maybe I should invite him over for dinner."
"How long have you known this guy?"
"Two weeks," she says.
"That isn't a long time but I'd love to see him. If he's bad for you I'll know."
"Why would he be bad for me? He's not like Jimmy and he won't dare disrespect you."
"Tomorrow then. I don't feel like company today."
"Thanks. I really appreciate it," she squeezes me into a hug.
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LATER ON AT THE GRAVEYARD
I got some flowers for both mom and dad. Their graves are far apart so I start with the one that's close by from where I am, my dad's. I clean the tombstone and place the flowers there before sitting down. The weather has decided to be in my favour today, it's cloudy so I don't have to worry about heat. My father's photo is drawn on the tombstone and people were right when they said I looked just like him. My father didn't look old so one would swear we were brothers when walking together.
"Do you remember when we used to attend the soccer matches together at the stadium? We supported opposing teams and you'd always want to bet but lost most of the time. I miss those days when it was just you and I, having a man to man talk and listening to your advices. I don't think I'd have gotten myself in the situation-ship if you were still here. I got lost in the worlds of two beautiful women but I ended up getting hurt." I feel like dropping tears but I won't because I got myself into the mess.
"Can you believe I started taking anti depressants after your death? What stresses me the most is that I'm overdosing these days and I don't want to fall into a pit that I can't come out of and leave Ora by herself. I'm going to be a better version of myself and I'll not let you down. I love you so much and I promise I'll look after Ora, we have each other now," I deeply sigh.
I stay for a minute or two before going to my mom's grave. At least there are no grass surrounding the grave since there has been rain these couple of days. I place her flowers down and light the candle that is there. I don't even know what to say because I wasn't there when she took her last breath. I don't know if she feels disappointed in me or not.
"Ma, I'm here. I... I hope you're not angry at me. I wasn't home at the time you needed me and for me that's disappointing. After all the promises I made to you, I still went and did something stupid that cost you your dear life. I know you were having it hard but we still wanted you alive. There was hope that you'd be better but here we are. I'm grateful for the money you left for Ora and I and I promise I'll use it wisely. She'll be able to further her studies and I can also look for a job and grow my business without any pressure. For now, I'm going to focus on myself and I won't let a woman disturb me. I almost got myself into a pit but I'm okay, you don't have to worry. Both Yolanda and Thandeka are no longer a part of my life. Generally, there can't be two queens in my castle but in my situation it's possible. It's you and Ora. Two beautiful strong women I hold closely to my heart. I love you so much Ma and I hope one day I'll be here with my wife and your first grandchild but now it's just me. Life is too short to be making silly mistakes and I've learnt a lot. All I ask is for you and dad to watch over us while we make you proud."
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