40
miranda: beyond the streetsinsert 40
-2 weeks later
Me: Abongile? Is that you, my baby?
Him: Miranda, there's no one there. You're just hearing things.
I looked around the room frantically, my eyes scanning every corner. I knew what I heard. I heard my baby crying. I clutched the teddy bear tighter to my chest, my heart racing with desperation. I felt like I was going crazy, like my grief was consuming me whole.
Me: No, I know what I heard. I heard my baby crying.
Him: Miranda, Abongile is gone. We buried her two weeks ago. You're just grieving, and it's affecting your mind.
I started to walk around the room, searching for something, anything that could prove to me that Abongile was still with me. I checked every room, every corner, every closet. But she was nowhere to be found. I felt like I was losing my mind.
Me: No, you don't understand. Abongile is trying to tell me something. I just need to listen.
Him: Miranda, stop. You're scaring me. Please, just sit down and talk to me.
I tried to sit down, but I couldn't. I was too restless, too anxious. I needed to find Abongile, to know that she was okay. I started to pace back and forth across the room, my mind racing with thoughts and fears.
Me: Talk to you? You don't understand. Abongile is here. I can hear her.
Him: Miranda, please. You're breaking my heart.
I stopped pacing and looked at Nkanyezi. He was crying, his eyes filled with tears of sadness and worry. I felt a pang of guilt, knowing that I was scaring him. But I couldn't help it. I was consumed by my grief, by my desire to see Abongile again.
Me: I'm sorry, Nkanyezi. I'm so sorry. But I have to find her. I have to know that she's okay.
Him: Miranda, Abongile is gone. She's not coming back. You have to accept that.
I shook my head, feeling a wave of denial wash over me. I couldn't accept that Abongile was gone. I couldn't accept that I would never see her again.
Me: No, I won't accept that. I won't accept that my baby is gone. I'll keep searching for her, no matter what.
Nkanyezi tried to wrap his arms around me, but I pushed him away. I didn't want to be comforted. I didn't want to be told that everything would be okay. I just wanted to find Abongile, to know that she was safe.
As I stood there, my heart racing with desperation, I felt like I was losing my grip on reality. I felt like I was slipping into madness, consumed by my grief and my desire to see Abongile again.
I took a step back, my eyes fixed on Nkanyezi. He looked at me with a mixture of sadness and concern, his eyes pleading with me to come back to reality.
Me: You don't understand, Nkanyezi. I can hear her. I can hear Abongile crying.
Him: Miranda, there's no one there. You're just hearing things.
I shook my head, feeling a wave of frustration wash over me. Why couldn't he understand? Why couldn't he hear Abongile's cries?
Me: I'm telling you, Nkanyezi, I can hear her. And I'm going to find her.
Him: Miranda, stop. You're scaring me.
I took a step forward, my eyes blazing with determination. I was going to find Abongile, no matter what it took.
Me: I won't stop until I find her. I won't rest until I know she's safe.
Nkanyezi's face fell, and he looked at me with a mixture of sadness and fear. He knew that I was slipping away, that my grief was consuming me.
Him: Miranda, please. You're not thinking clearly. You need to rest.
I shook my head, feeling a wave of anger wash over me. Why was he trying to stop me? Why was he trying to keep me from finding Abongile?
Me: You don't understand, Nkanyezi. You don't understand what it's like to lose a child.
Him: Miranda, I'm trying to help you. Please, just listen to me.
But I wasn't listening. I was too far gone, consumed by my grief and my determination to find Abongile. I turned and ran out of the room, leaving Nkanyezi behind.
I ran out of the house, not knowing where I was going or what I was doing. I just knew that I had to find Abongile. I had to know that she was safe.
As I ran, the world around me became a blur. I didn't notice the trees, the houses, or the people passing by. All I could think about was Abongile.
I ran until I couldn't run anymore. I collapsed onto the grass, exhausted and defeated. I lay there, staring up at the sky, and wondered what I was doing. Was I really going crazy?
As I lay there, I heard a voice behind me.
Him: Miranda?
I turned to see Nkanyezi standing over me, a look of concern on his face.
Me: (weakly) Nkanyezi...
Him: (kneeling down beside me) Oh, Miranda. What's happening to you?
I shook my head, feeling tears prick at the corners of my eyes.
Me: (whispering) I don't know. I just feel like I'm losing my mind.
Nkanyezi wrapped his arms around me, holding me close.
Him: (whispering) You're not losing your mind, Miranda. You're just grieving. And I'm here for you.
I clung to him, feeling a sense of comfort wash over me. Maybe, just maybe, I wasn't alone in this after all.
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