38
miranda: beyond the streetsinsert 38
the next day
I am sitting on the mattress , tears are just streaming down , I got nothing to say . I am holding the teddy she used to play with , I would say it was her favourite . She was only 3 months but I guess heavens couldn't wait for her .
voice: here's something to eat baby .
I shook my head .
me:I am not hungry .
I said as I wiped my tears and lied on the mattress .
nkanyezi's mother sighed .
her:you have to eat something Nana so you can have some strength .
me:ma , I said I am not hungry .
She just sighed and left the room . Tshego walked inside .
me: Where's Nkanyezi ?
her: He went to the river .
We came to kzn last night because the child is supposed to be buried in their original land .
Bab Zungu will arrive today , and tomorrow we are burying my baby . I stood up .
tshego:where are you going ?
me: I want nkanyezi .
tshego:are you even allowed to stand up ?
She frowned . I just ignored her and walked out of the house using the kitchen door .
I walked to the river , it's actually a ten to fifteen minutes walk .
I saw him sitting on the rock under the tree .
I held his shoulder from behind .
The fresh air is doing some magic to my thoughts , I want to be here forever now .
him:come sit on my lap .
I walked to the front then sat on his lap . He perked my forehead .
him: I'm really sorry we lost the baby ...
me: it's not our fault .
I said as I wiped his tears that escaped his eyes . he blinked and sighed .
He cupped my face .
him:allow me to heal with you and help you move on miranda , i love you okay ? and it breaks my heart that abongile had to die when things weren't good between us , i am really sorry .
I sighed .
me: the way I reacted ... I ... Maybe if I didn't take abo with me ...
him:hey , hey baby don't blame yourself , please .
I swallowed and my tears just streamed down .
He wiped them with his thumb .
him: don't do this to yourself ...
-few hours later
I was sitting on the mattress and nkanyezi was sitting on the couch in the room , he's reading a novel book for me “Tears of a Childless mother ” by Sukoluhle Nontokozo Mdlongwa , y'all shour try it , it's very enjoyable .
a knock came through and in walked bab zungu . I quickly faced down .
babzungu : good evening .
he fist bumped with his son .
him:makoti .
I nodded while playing with my hands not facing him , bethuna I was riding this man and even gave him a doggy style , kuningi !
him:aibo , angilumi raise your head .
I swallowed hard and raised my head to look at him .
him:eh ?
The look on his face , it's like he's trying to remember where does he know me from .
nkanyezi:leave baba .
babzungu:I was leaving vele , anyways you chose well , umuhle umfazi wakho .
He smiled , what a fine old man . He walked out of the room .
nkanyezi: don't mind him , uyaphapha .
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