Regrets

“So, how was Simo yesterday?” Derby asks a detected looking Lee-Ann who appears to have lost a bit of weight over what’s been happening lately. She has come to visit her since she’s still staying at Simo's place since leaving her parents' house, whom she hasn’t spoken to since. It’s been about two weeks or so since JB and Derby had that talk at the hospital. It has given both of them time to think on what they had to say to each other. Simo is recovering miraculously well and by the look of things he’ll be out of hospital in no time. They are sitting on the he sofa in front of the TV but not really watching it. Lee-Ann doesn’t feel like doing much lately.

“He was sleeping when I was there and I didn’t for much longer,” says Lee-Ann with a low voice. “But from what the nurses told me he is recovering very well. In fact, he could be out in a matter of few days, so” she says looking at Derby with a smile.

“Were his friends there?” asks Derby as she sips on her coffee. Lee-Ann thinks for a second as she also sips from her cup. “Well,” she sighs deeply. “They were there, Mlu, JB and Zandile. But they left the room and allowed me space to talk to Simo alone. But…” he shrugs his shoulders. “He was sleeping or pretending to be sleeping. I don’t know” she looks down in sadness. “But I said what I went there to say and if he was pretending to be sleeping, then he heard what I was saying” she says as she puts the cup down. Derby looks at her and feels really bad for her sister. She comes closer to comfort her. Lee-Ann leans on her shoulder as she lets out a year.

“shhhh, it’s going to be okay sis” Derby says as she gives a sad Lee-Ann a back rub. “At least they allowed you to see him. So maybe they are coming around. I think they will eventually see that you guys belong together and they can’t do anything about that” she says. But Lee-Ann doesn’t respond to it but just continues to lean on her sister’s shoulder sobbing.

“On another mater,” Derby says to which Lee-Ann moves from her shoulder and looks at her with curiosity. “Mom and dad are worried sick about you” she says, much to Lee-Ann’s annoyance as she stands up to move towards the window and looks outside. Clearly she doesn’t like this topic. But Derby continues, “Look, sis they really are. Especially dad, who didn’t even know much about what mom and Julie were doing. And after you resigned from the family business he really was hurt” she says but Lee- Ann doesn’t say a word. She just stands by the window, not showing emotion. So Derby decides to also go over to her and looks through the window and sees people moving up and down.

“I’m only feeling in at the moment until they find a replacement for you but dad is hoping that that you will come back. Quite frankly you know the business better than anyone and you loved it there.” Derby says as she looks at her sister. “Dad didn’t take this lightly. It hit him really hard sis” her voice becomes a little sad as she continues to look at Lee-Ann in the eyes.

“Look, those ones did that to themselves okay?” Lee-Ann raises her voice as she goes back to the couch. “What has happened to me and Simo is their fault. So why must I care about their business when they don’t even care about what I want or what I feel, huh?” she’s now upset. But Derby comes back to sit on the sofa as well next to her sister, “Look sis, I know that okay?” she says. “They feel bad about everything okay. And believe it or mom feels bad too okay?” that to which Lee-Ann raises an eyebrow as she’s surprised by that. “I’m serious sis,” Derby says. “She is feeling bad about what happened. She sorts of regrets pushing you away. Now she sits on that old couch in the veranda, hoping you will be coming home anyway now” she insists. Lee-Ann looks to the ceiling as if she’s trying to imagine what Derby is saying.

“Look sis, you don’t have to come back home okay” Derby says. “But maybe you can just go back to work. The company needs you sis. Dad isn’t there so you don’t have to see him. Please” a sad Derby begs her sister who just looks uncomfortable with this subject.

“Look, I can’t okay” Lee-Ann says as she sighs deeply. “Not only just because of mom and dad but I just need some time out okay. I just need to think. With all that has happened the past few months, I’m just emotionally drained. I just need to get my head straight sis” she says with a sad voice. Derby comes close to her, “Yeah I understand sis. And you are right. You reading need time to take care of yourself. You are worn out I can see. Gosh, I even noticed as I came through the door that you have lost so much weight hey” she looks at Lee-Ann all over her body and gives a little laughter. To which Lee-Ann looks at herself as well wondering what her sister is talking about.

“what?” she chuckles. “I have not lost weight. You are just seeing things okay?” they both laugh about it. Derby looks pleased to see her big sister laughing for a change. To that Lee-Ann goes to the kitchen and comes back with a 5 litre of ice cream, “Well I think I’m feeling a little better now, so we can have this” as she gives Derby a spoon. She also has her own. To that Derby just bursts out laughing.



But that happy moment is disturbed by a door bell ring. They both look at each other in the eyes wondering who that might be. “Are you expecting anyone?” Derby asks Lee-Ann who shrugs her shoulders as she stands up and goes to the door. Well, well, well guess who’s at the door, Julie. Just when Lee-Ann’s mood was changing for the better, her face suddenly changes and turn red with rage. But Julie just stands there on the other side of the gate with a terrified face or face of regret. To Lee- Ann memories of the last day she saw her cousin come flooding her brain. The day she slapped her so hard that she banged her head against the wall. She’s lucky the gate is standing between us. Otherwise I’d give her another one, she thinks to herself. Also the memories of seeing Simo at the hospital come back and that makes her upset.

“Hi cousin” Julie says with a low voice. Her eyes are suddenly filled with shame and regret. But she’s looking at Lee-Ann straight in the eyes. Lee-Ann takes a second to try and take all this in. Her heart is like a volcano right now, there’s so much unfinished business between the two ladies.

As Derby asks “Sis, who was at the door” seeing her sister has been gone for a minute now, she didn’t expect to see who walks right in. She also hasn’t seen Julie since that day Lee-Ann left home. Derby had began indulging on the delicious caramel ice cream when Julie walks in. Her craving suddenly disappears to thin air. “What the hell are you doing here” she asks with a disgusted face. But Julie doesn’t respond to it, she goes and sits down on the far couch like a disgraced woman. Derby doesn’t know what to

 

make of this. Julie is usually feisty. She’d ordinarily throw that one back, but there she is sitting down in shame. She looks at Lee-Ann who comes in to sit down as if to say what the hell is going on. There’s this uncomfortable moment of silence in the room.

“Look I know you guys, I’m the last person you want to see” Julie breaks the silence as she speaks with a low voice. “And I can understand that” she says. “Thank you Lee-Ann for let me in to come and say what I have to say.” In all that Lee-Ann and Derby are looking at their cousin right in the face, without showing any emotion. They can both see that something has changed with Julie but rage is all they know right now.

“I just wanted to say I’m truly” Julie says. “I’m sorry for…” she doesn’t her thought as Derby cuts her of, “You mean so for what exactly?” She shouts. “That you have been trying to break my sister up with the man she truly loves? Or you are sorry for accusing a good guy of raping you and then blackmailing his friend who out of your craziness ends up in the hospital and almost died? Which is it?” her voice only getting louder and louder. But Julie lets out a tear in shame. Which causes Lee-Ann who’s been all quiet to look away. “Yes, cousin,” Julie says. “I apologize for all the above. I regret it very much. And if there’s a way that…” she’s cut off again, this time by Lee-Ann, “Well it’s a little too late for all that now cousin, don’t you think?” she shouts as she stands up in front of Julie.

“I mean, what did you think was going to happen? Huh? Simo could’ve died in that accident. So which part was worth it in all this Julie, huh?” now Lee-Ann has tears rolling down her face as she becomes emotional, which makes Julie herself very emotional.

“I’m sorry Lee,” Julie sobs. “Please tell me what I can do to fix all this, please. I will do it” she begs. To that Lee-Ann stands up looking at the door, “Please leave” she says as she points to the door. Julie lets out another tear at hearing those words. She looks at Derby who stands up and looks at her with her hands in the hips. She stands up and grabs her beg and walks towards the door with her head down. But as she reaches the door she turns around and looks at her cousins who are looking right at her without showing any remorse. “Oh Derby” she says. “It looks like your wish of wanting me to make you an aunt came through. Congratulations” she turns around, opens the door and walks, closing it behind her. She leaves Lee-Ann and Derby shocked by that last part.

***





At the hospital Mlu and JB have come to see their friend Simo who is doing really well. In fact, he could be discharged any day now to continue with physiotherapy at home. He has removed the leg brace but still using crutches for support, just as precaution.

“Hey man, how did it go with Lee-Ann yesterday? I mean, we figured we should leave you guys alone to talk. We’ve been denying her access to you a few times but that girl doesn’t give up hey. She kept coming without fail” JB asks Simo who is seated straying the bed. As he hears JB he looks away as if he wants to avoid the topic but his friends are waiting for the response to that. He breathes heavily and looks at the ceiling as if he’s looking for an answer. “Well, she came in when I was a little drowsy from the meds you know. So I’m not sure how much I heard really” he looks away from them as he tries to avoid eye contact.

 

“Look man, I think she’s trying to make contact and I think she’s trying to fix things between you guys, don’t you think you should hear what she has to say, at least?” JB jumps in. But Simo and Mlu look shocked to be hearing this from this man. It is very unexpected of him.

“Excuse me?” Mlu says in shock. “Who are you and what happened to our friend JB who we love?” he says as he looks at Simo who is just as amazed. “I mean, aren’t the one who’s always given us hard time over these girls? How many times have you told him to stay away from Lee-Ann and told me to stay away from Julie? And now you are here pleading on her behalf? Seriously man, what’s up with that?” he is curious. But JB moves from the window to come and stand next to Simo who looks right at him. “Look man, “he says. “And how man times have I told you that this isn’t about me but about this guy?” he says pointing at Simo. “It doesn’t matter what I think or how I feel okay? But we can’t run away from the fact that these two love each other and they are miserable without each other” he looks at a confused Mlu who seems to be lost for words.



“Look man, I hear you okay?” Mlu jumps in. “But another fact that we can’t run away from is that you had warned us before about these girls, didn’t you? And to actually admit that you called it is not easy, but you did. It happened. Julie accused me of rape, imagine that?” he starts to get emotional as he looks at Simo who is quiet.

“Look man. I know that” JB tries to calm his friend down. “but I just think that eventually Simo and Lee- Ann love each other, neither of them can deny that. What’s been happening is crazy yes, but…” JB is cut of by Simo, “Look man,” he strengthens up in bed. “Yes it is true that I love Lee-Ann, okay. I do. But a lot has happened the past few weeks. Look where I am right now” as he shrugs his shoulders. “It may not necessarily be her fault directly but her family is part of her life. That can’t be denied. Her mother and Julie are her family. One way or the other I’d have to deal with them all my life and I’m not sure if that’s what I really want” his face becomes sad. “But that’s a topic for another day okay? Right now I need focus on getting myself better, not just physically but emotionally as well. So I think I need space from all this so that I can get myself emotional good”

At that, both Mlu and JB look at each other and shrug their shoulders as if to say well, if you say so. There’s a bit of an awkward silence in the room as they all think about how things have turned out. But Mlu breaks it, “Okay, so, you” as he looks at JB. “Are you going to tell us what has happened to you?” he asks a confused JB who is wondering what he’s on about.

“Seriously man. You seem different. Even your tone is different. Did you meet someone? White girl maybe?” Mlu says as he winks at Simo who lets out a smile. But JB just looks away, trying to avoid the topic. “Oh so you did meet someone, you bastard” Mlu bursts out laughing and Simo joins him. But JB doesn’t laugh. He just gives a straight face. “Come on you guys. That’s not really funny” JB says as he avoids eye contact with both of them. “I told you this isn’t about me but about Simo and Lee-Ann. There’s no girl here” he laughs. They all laugh at this. “I think I know who it is,” Simo says to Mlu's curiosity. “It’s Derby, ain’t it?” he holds his mouth like a naughty boy. “Yes it is. She was here a two

weeks ago and I believe she spent quiet some time with JB since he was busy acting like my body guard” Simo says as he high fives Mlu who seems shocked.

 

“So she got to you huh? Hahaha” Mlu laughs. But JB decides to stop this teasing on him as he starts to see that these ones are too impressed with themselves. “Look she didn’t get to me, okay. We talked and she said certain things that made me see a few things differently, okay? Are you happy now?” he says, seemingly annoyed but that just sends his friends burst out laughing. They are enjoying teasing Mt tough guy here who had been giving them a tough time about their choices in women.

***

Julie has gone over to the Stain family to talk to Debra and Morgan. She hasn’t been here since the day she had a sharp argument with her cousins and she had left Debra and Morgan hanging after she felt dizzy. So this won’t be an easy visit for her.

“So, how are you my child?” Morgan asks Julie who looks down and looks a little depressed. Julie takes a second and looks at the ceiling and breathes heavily. “Auntie, is Derby home?” she asks, completely ignoring Morgan’s question to which Morgan looks puzzled as he looks at Debra. “Oh, no darling. She’s not back yet” Debra says. “She said she’s going out for some fresh air in the morning but I’m actually surprised that she isn’t back yet. My daughter has been locking herself in the room lately. We hardly see her” she becomes sad as she says. “Even when she back from work she…” but Julie cuts her of, “Oh I didn’t know she’s now working. Where?” she’s curious.

“Oh, since Lee-Ann resigned, your uncle has had to look for a replacement but for now Derby is holding the fort till then” Debra says as she looks at a sad Morgan. He really was affected by Lee-Ann resigning because she was doing a great job. This is equally shocking for Julie as well, who suddenly feels bad over all this.

“Uncle Morgan I’m sorry about that” Julie says as she looks at looks at the sad old man. But Morgan doesn’t respond. “But anyways I think Derby is okay. She was over at Lee-Ann’s place when I went there to see her. So I’m sure she’s safe” she says with a low voice to a rather surprised Morgan and Debra. “Oh so she’s with her sister and she can’t even tell us?” Debra says with a sad face. She looks at Morgan whose just as said. “So where is Lee-Ann staying really?” asks a curious Debra. Julie takes a second to think about it, “She is still at her boyfriend’s place” she says reluctantly.

To that Debra inhales in shock, “Where? Oh lord” she raises her voice. “And you didn’t tell them to get out of that out of that house, Julie? Couldn’t she have stayed somewhere else?”

But Morgan can’t take it anymore, “You know what, Debra, just stop it okay?” he shouts as he stands up, much to Debra’s shock. She really didn’t expect that from her husband. But Morgan doesn’t look happy at all. She looks at both of them with eyes of disgust.

“You know we are in this mess because of both of you, always scheming to hurt people” he raises his voice. “Now we lost a daughter and by the look of things we may lose another. All because of your hate and scheming. And I’m tired of all this and I want no part of it anymore” he says as he turns around to

leave them. “Morgan, darling” Debra calls for him. “Can we please talk about this? Please darling I beg you” she pleads with her upset husband. Morgan turns around and looks at both of them, “What are we meant to talk about Debra?” he shouts. You two had every chance to talk to me, didn’t you? But now because of your stupidity I’ve lost my daughter and could lose another. Over what? Over hating on a black man? Even though you knew Lee-Ann loved?”

 

To say Morgan is upset is an understatement. She’s furious. Now Debra is sobbing seeing how upset her husband is. As Morgan turns around to leave them to go to his room to rest, Julie calls out to him, “Uncle Morgan” with a trembling voice. “I’m pregnant” She says much to a shocked Debra and Morgan who comes back to sit down.

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