It's complicated
“Doc, are you sure?” Julie asks the doctor as they sit in the consultation room. It’s been about a two weeks or so since Simo’s accident. She hasn’t been at the Stain house since the day she had that argument with her cousins. Things have been so tense since then and she thought she needs to let things cool of first.Word is that Simo’s recovery is going well. He’s still going to be in the hospital for some time though. He suffered a few broken ribs and a broken leg but the doctors managed to remove as much shrapnel in the stomach as they could. It did some damage though. Good news is that he didn’t suffer any serious head injuries so he didn’t have any major memory loss. He will need a physical therapy for a few weeks though.
“Oh yes miss Juliet, I’m 100% certain that you are pregnant” the doctor says as he smiles. Julie goes to the window and looks outside and remembers the day at the Stain house when she felt so dizzy in the kitchen. She then holds her tummy, “I’m sorry doc,” she says. “It’s just that this is my second consultation in two weeks and I had thought that maybe the first time was a mistake you know” she says as she comes back to sit on the bed. Seeing how Julie is not thrilled by the news he comes and sits next to her. “If you don’t mind me asking, aren’t you happy with this pregnancy?” he asks with a low voice. There’s an awkward moment of silence in the room.
“Oh, no. It’s not that at all doc” Julie says as she continues to hold her tummy. “It’s just that I really didn’t expect it so soon hey” she’s embarrassed. “it really wasn’t planned this way so…” she looks away from the doctor avoiding eye contact. But the doctor takes her hand,
“Look, miss Juliet, I can always organize someone you can talk to, you know if it can make you feel better” he says, much to Julie’s surprise as she didn’t expect that or was caught off guard by that. She goes over to the window again still holding her tummy, “No doc, I’m fine, really but thank you” she says. “Are you sure because…” the doctor doesn’t finish as Julie cuts him of, “Yes doctor, I’m sure, okay?” she raises her to which the doctor shrugs his shoulders as if to say Alright then, I give up. Julie takes her coat and walks out from the room, slowly without looking back. In the hallway she walks with her head down as if she doesn’t want people to see her. In her mind many things are going through. This news have certainly complicated her life, haven’t they?
She gets into her car and immediately puts her head into the steering wheel. She can’t believe what has just happened to her. This was her second consultation but she thought the first test was a false positive and she couldn’t have been more wrong. ep, she’s pregnant and she doesn’t need to guess who the father is. Suddenly it dawns on her, all that has happened with Simo and Mlu in particular makes this whole situation nothing but madness. She then takes out her phone opens it and scrolls down the gallery. She comes to Mlu's picture. He looks at it without much emotion. It’s hard to tell where her head is at with that. A picture of her aunt, Debra comes to her mind and then her face changes again as she holds her tummy with one hand. She looks to the roof of her car as she sighs deeply as she starts the engine and drives .
At the Hospital, Zandile had come to visit Simo who’s up from his nap. It’s visiting hours and this is quite a busy private hospital but luckily for Simo he pays the most expensive premium for his medical aid so he only shares a room with just one person. It is actually quite clean in this place.
“I’m glad you are doing okay my baby and I know the food isn’t actually bad here but I brought you fruit juice and some fruits,” Zandile says as she puts the food on the side table and smiles at seeing his nephew awake. “Are the doctors being nice to you?” she whispers as she takes Simo’s hand. “Well, doctors will always be doctors auntie, so you tell me, you are one remember?” Simo says he smiles to Zandile who smiles back at him, completely ignoring what her nephew is saying. She looks around to see if there’s anyone listening, “Well you’re my baby boy so it’s different with you okay?” she winked at him with a smile.
“So tell me…” Simo says. “Did Julie… uhmm” he’s lost for words as he tries to up straight. “Did she drop…” he doesn’t finish as Zandile cuts him of, “No, no, no darling. Please don’t stress about that okay?” she says. “And yes, that girl dropped charges. Mlu is okay” as she continues to hold his hand to comfort him. So Simo goes back to laying down comfortable.
There’s a moment of awkward silence as Zandile goes to stand and look through the window. She then turns around and looks at Simo, “You know what I think?” she says with a low voice which gets Simo’s attention. “You know how I’ve always been fond of Lee-Ann right? And you know I’ve always supported your relationship and always thought she’s a good girl and great for you…” Simo can’t help but thinking there’s a but there coming as he continues to listen. “But after all that’s happened recently I honestly don’t think she’s good for you darling” she says as she comes back to sit next to Simo.
“Her family will never accept you as part of theirs even if you guys marry and have kids. They just won’t” Zandile continues. “And that’s not really good. I just think that for now you guys are better apart. Being together does more harm than good, for both of you. You will always be sad when you are with her because of her family which she will always choose over you if it comes down to it and, understandably so as well. You get me?” she says with a low voice as if she’s begging her nephew to see reason. Simo, all the while is just listening attentively without showing much emotion. Now Zandile has a sad face and her eyes are almost teary.
“Look auntie” Simo cuts in. “It’s not the whole of Lee-Ann’s family that is not fond of me but just a few like her cousin and her mother. But…” he takes his aunt’s hand, “I hear you and you are right” he says, much to Zandile’s surprise. “I think at the moment me and Lee-Ann aren’t at the good space. We do perhaps need some time apart.
“I do need to focus on my recovery, physically and emotionally. Our relationship is very toxic at the moment and as things stand, it can only get worse. So yes, maybe we just need to deal with whatever is happening, separately. I’m sure she needs to deal with her family without me on her mind all the time because that can only cloud her judgement” Zandile can’t help but smile as she listens to her nephew.
She didn’t expect him to agree this easily. “That’s a relief my boy” she says. “And yes I agree. our recovery is the most important right now. Everything else will sort itself out as it should okay?” she stands up, “Okay sweetheart. I’m working tonight so I need to run a few errands before I go to work later, okay?” as she heads to the door.
***
After leaving the hospital earlier, Julie decided to go to the mall to pick up a few things and she decides to also pass by the pharmacy. She is still caught up by the fact that he’s pregnant. She really doesn’t know how she feels about this all, because it involves a man she recently accused of rape and this complicated her life.
As she walks closer to the pharmacy the last thing she expected or wanted to see was Mlu. But there he is in a distance coming towards her direction. It doesn’t look like he has seen her as he’s looking at his phone. What must she do? Must she hide or look the other way? Her heart starts racing. Her palms sweat. Anxiousness sets in. She then stops right in the middle of the passage. She has completely
forgotten there are people who are walking passed her. So many things go through her mind. But just before she could decide what to do, Mlu's eyes meet hers. He’s still a few metres out. But then he also does the same thing, he stands there motionless like a man who’s seen a ghost. What does he do? Must he turn around and run?
But one thing is for sure, they can’t just stand there in the middle of the mall. So Lee-Ann decides to take an initiative and walks towards Mlu, albeit slowly. Mlu decides to do the same. Both of their eyes are locked on each other and both of them are nervous and anxious. As they draw closer towards each other, both their hearts race even harder. When Julie sees that Mlu is attempting to move aside and pass him, she decides to block his path.
“Hi Mlu” she says with a very nervous voice. Her eyes say a lot, a lot of confusing messages She looks like she’s sorry, or regretful and she also looks like she’s scared. Mlu on the other hand also has eyes that say a lot. You can see rage in them, you can also see confusion, regret and disappointment. He doesn’t respond but still looks at Julie in the eyes. They are very close to each other now. “How are you?” Julie asks but Mlu doesn’t respond but still looking at her straight in the eyes. She can’t say that was unexpected really. Maybe she expected a million questions filled with rage. But she definitely didn’t expect a warm hug from a man she has accused of the most disgusting offense.
“Look, I just wanted to say that uhmm…” Julie is lost for words. She’s trying to find a way to put this but honestly nothing can come out right at this point in time. But as she is still trying to find a way to it, without notice Mlu just walks pass and leaves her standing. That cuts in so deep as her eyes suddenly turn red as she’s filled with remorse. She watches as Mlu goes right to the far end of the mall. She sighs heavily and then walks quickly to the pharmacy.
But then it appears this encounter between them isn’t quiet over as they bump into each again, this time at the mall parking. Their cars aren’t too far from each other. They came from out from different exits to the parking lot and they’d cross each other’s path, to their cars. As soon as their eyes meet, Mlu quickly attempts to turn and walk away to another direction but Julie quickly calls out him, “Mlu please, please wait” she shouts with a rather trembling and nervous voice, and Mlu reluctantly stops and turns around. But this time he’s avoiding eye contact and he waits for Julie to say whatever she wanted to say. He can’t wait to get out of this place.
“Look, I know I’m the last person you want to talk to right now and I completely understand” Julie says with a low voice. “If you could, can you just please give me a minute and then you’ll be on your way.”
With that, Mlu makes eye contact again, waiting to hear what she had to say. But there’s a moment’s silence as Julie tries to piece words together.
“There’s a lot I want to say to you right now that I can’t or don’t know how to say” few years drop from her eyes. “But I think the most important thing I just needed to say to you right now is that I’m sorry and that I have no excuse for what I did and I’m not even expecting you to forgive me but I needed to say I’m sorry from the bottom of my heart” she concludes as she wipes her tears. All the while they are still looking at each other. Mlu on the other hand, this is only making him an emotional wreck as rage, hurt and regret come flooding his emotions. He doesn’t say word in response but Julie can tell how he feels and she actually expected nothing less than that.
After a moment, Julie looks down as she walks passed a shocked Mlu and goes straight to her car. After a moment he also goes to his car. When Julie gets inside her car she them starts crying and sobbing. She doesn’t seem to know how to explain them. It just be her pregnancy hormones. Mlu gets on his car and he’s also experiencing emotions but to him it’s largely rage and confusion and he’s asking himself why she suddenly apologizes now.
***
The following JB and Mlu had come to visit Simo at the hospital. Mlu had to rush of as he had to attend to work mater. JB had gone out to the hospital kiosk to buy Simo something to drink. The last he was hoping for was to bump into Derby. Suddenly his mood turns bad as he approaches her buy the entrance. There’s an awkward moment there.
“Hi JB” Derby says with a nervous voice. JB breathes a heavy sigh as he looks up. “What are you doing here Derby? If you guys are here to see Simo, please turn around. You are not welcome here” says, clearly annoyed. Another awkward moment passes. “Look JB I’m not here to fight with you or anyone else okay and I really don’t think this is the right time to be fighting at all” Derby says talking low. She’s trying to avoid making a scene. She remembers how two weeks ago her sister’s presence drew attention. They both calmly decide to pull aside and sit on the bench outside entrance. There’s another awkward moment passing as no one seems to know what to say.
“By the way I came alone. Lee-Ann isn’t here” Derby says, much to JB’s surprise as he looks around. “I understand and she understands how things aren’t right at the moment. But truth is JB, my sister loves Simo. She’s worried sick about him. She hasn’t been okay herself since the accident and I’m worried about her. So I thought I should come check on Simo and I’ll then tell he's doing. But then if I’m not welcome here it’s okay. I understand,” she says as she stands up. “take care and please send my regards to Simo and please look after him. He’s a really good guy” she turns around to walk, but JB stops her by holding her hand “Oh please wait,” he says. But then suddenly he runs out of words to say to Derby and she can see that so she decides to jump in,
“Look JB, like I told you at my folks’ anniversary party, I know what happened to you. I know how it made you feel and how it still makes you feel. There is absolutely no excuse for what that girl did to you, none whatsoever. Just like there’s absolutely no excuse for what my cousin did to Mlu which resulted in Simo being here. I get all that. I really do. But none of these people are my sister” she starts to become emotional.
“She’s a good, sweet and honest person. She’d never deliberately hurt a person; let alone a person she loves like Simo” as she says all this JB is listening attentively. At first he couldn’t even look at her but now he’s looking right at her. “JB, Lee-Ann loves Simo” Derby continues. “Yes she did allow my parents to overrule her a little bit but after what happened with Mlu and Simo believe me she has taken as stand” this statement, much to JB’s confusion as to what she could mean by that. He’s curious but he doesn’t interrupt her as she continues, “So in whatever you guys decide please keep in mind what I have just said okay?” she concludes, which leaves JB speechless. He’s trying to make sense of it all.
“Look Derby, I hear you, okay?” he says with a low voice as he looks at her straight in the eyes. “But this isn’t really easy for me, you know. I kept telling Simo and Mlu that one day something like will happen and every time they’d say I’m exaggerating and that things are different now. And honestly as time went on, I was beginning to be happy that I was wrong. And just when I didn’t expect it, all my fears came true” at these words, Derby looks down in embarrassment but JB continues, “And this happened in my place. When they put my friend at the back of the police van, all memories of my ordeal came flooding my mind. The feeling and emotions hurt, rage and resentment came back. And for once I wished I was wrong because I didn’t want Mlu to go through what I went through” he concludes.
There’s a moment of awkward silence after what JB said. He looks emotional and Derby is embarrassed buy all this. They both decide to sit down on the bench again. This time Derby gets even closer to JB. She thinks about taking his hand but she decides maybe it may just not be a good idea.
“Look’” she says. “I really get you hey. I really do. No one can blame you for this, for how you feel. And just like I said to you before, we are not all the same. Even though it seems like you were proven right by Derby, but we are really not the same. Lee-Ann is a case in point. This is the same thing I told Derby as well. Her resentment for black people come from what happened to her parents, when they got hijacked and her dad got badly injured when they shot him. She lives in that fear as well.” This time it’s JB who looks down in shame as he listens to Derby, who continues, “But I’ve always told her the same thing that black people aren’t the same. They aren’t criminals by colour, just like white people aren’t all racists by virtue of their skin” she concludes.
At that there’s another moment of silence as both are emotionally charged. They have both said their piece and it becomes difficult to know what either of them is thinking. But Derby decides to break the ice as she stands up, “Look, please send Simo my regards okay and please take care of yourself” she says as she walks towards the parking, leaving JB with a moment to ponder.
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