CHAPTER 5

YIKHOKONKE
Today is Friday and we're knocking off early. Thank God because honestly I'm tired. This has been the longest week I have ever had. Thando moved in earlier this week, I must say she's a really good person she has a good heart too. Newton and Siziwe are moving in tomorrow and we will have a welcome lunch .
We went on a second date with Nkosana and it was really fun. I got to know him better and he calls me every chance he gets. I think I'm falling for him.I haven't dreamt about Sizwe since that day. Is it because I chased him away. Jes snaps her finger at my face.
Jes: Earth to Konke.
I look at her.
Kwanele: What's on your mind sis?
Kwanele is a paralegal at this law firm. She's also a receptionist. We sit with her sometimes when we're having lunch. I can't really say she's our friend but she's close to us. Imagine? This is some crazy trio an advocate, a candidate attorney and a paralegal? Weird if you ask me.
Me: Nothing.
Jes: Nothing? We've been talking for 10 minutes straight and you haven't said anything. That's unlike you.
Me: I'm just thinking about life.
Jes: Life? Since when do you think about life when you're with us? Is Mr man stressing you already?
Kwane: Sisi Jes that's not even possible, they haven't even started dating.
Jes: Who says a person can stress you only when you're dating.
Kwane: Me.
Jes: Well you're wrong. What do you know anyways?
Me: Guys! Stop bandla please. Nkosi hasn't done anything.
Jes: I thought you said his name is Nkosana.
Kwane: Ayicha weee ayi uslow shame and kuyadabukisa.(You're so slow and it's just sad.)
Jes: Why?
Me: Nkosi is Nkosana shortened.
Jes: Oh . I don't know how this works.
Kwane: No you're slow.
We all laugh. Jes is slow, sometimes she loses cases because of this. Her husband be so mad, I would be mad if I was him too. Jes loses even the simplest cases.
Jes: Don't start with me Kwanele please.
Me: Kwanele please leave my friend alone. She's just a girl.
Jes: Literally.
We laugh again.

IBANATHI
It's Friday night and on Fridays we watch movies. We have made popcorn and I'm sitting at one couch and Thando is sitting at another. Konke is still bathing and Mnqobi is doing only God knows what but they are joining us soon.
Thando: Which movie are we going to watch?
Iba: Maybe you should chose it friend.
Thando: I was thinking Kraven.
Iba: What is that?
Thando: A movie, Kraven the hunter. I have watched it reviews and according to them it's a good movie.
Iba: What is it about?
Thando: A guy who gets super powers or whatever, he loves nature and does everything to protect it.
Iba: That doesn't sound like a nice movie.
Thando: Let give it a chance and see.
Iba: Okay if you say so.
Konke comes downstairs wearing short, black pyjamas, carrying two little blankets. She gives one to Thando and she sits next to me with one. She lays her head on me.
Konke: So what are we watching girls?
Iba: Thando says Kraven the hunter.
Konke: Ohh , I've been meaning to watch that movie. I saw it reviews and they were insane.
Thando: See Iba, I told you.
Iba: And I'm saying we'll just have to wait and see.
Mnqobi comes down too , carrying a beer. Mnqobi may be having problems but he knows the importance of spending quality time with us. He sits next to Thando who has folded herself with the blanket.
Mnqobi: Girls.
Konke: Hey bhuti.
Iba: Hi.
Thando: Can I taste this?
Mnqobi: What beer?
Thando: Yeah , I've always wanted to know how it tastes like.
Mnqobi: Okay.
Mnqobi gives her the bottle and she takes a sip.
Thando: Eew that's just so disgusting.
Mnqobi: Awuphuzi mama?(You don't drink alcohol mama?)
Thando: I do but not this.
Mnqobi: What's wrong with this?
Thando: It's too strong.
Mnqobi :Or you're the one who's just too weak.
Thando: Man please.
Mnqobi: You are weak.
Thando: No I'm not.
Mnqobi: Really?
Thando: Yes.
Mnqobi: I guess we'll just have to wait and see then.
He says while taking a sip from his beer and looking at her straight in the eyes. Are they flirting? Konke looks at me and I know she's asking herself the same question.
Konke: Are you guys flirting?
Thando: What?No! No we're not .
Iba: You're not?
Thando: We're not.
Konke: Don't try to fool us honey, it's literally obvious.
Thando: Really I didn't notice.
She giggles after saying that.
Iba: Ayi niyadika!(You guys are annoying.)
Mnqobi chuckles.
Mnqobi: Can we watch the movie so we can go to sleep?
Thando: Yeah sure.
Thando choses the Kraven movie she was talking about. I must admit they were right,this is a very nice movie. After the movie ends we get up and go upstairs. Mnqobi stays behind. I don't even have time to ask him why, maybe he wants to cry for his ex wife.

MNQOBI
The girls have went to their rooms and I'm sitting in here drowning in my sorrows in this dark room. The only light that's here is the TV that's on mute and my phone. I'm looking at my pictures with Tracy. I was so happy, she looks happy too. Did I hurt her in any way and I just didn't realize or was this her plan from the beginning? Did she ever love me.
I remember when I first saw her. I was taken by this caramel skin woman with a beautiful smile. She looks like she's a mixed race but she's not. She was just a Zulu girl, proud of her culture and herself. I fell in love instantly. Tears fall uncontrollably down my cheeks. I'm startled by footsteps. I quickly wipe my tears.
Thando: I'm sorry, I didn't know someone was still here.
Mnqobi: It's okay, what do you want?
Thando: The blanket. I'm cold. Konke said I must come take it.
Mnqobi: Oh okay.
I take it and give to her.
Thando: Thank you.
She takes it and walks away. She stops and turns to me.
Thando:Are you okay?
Mnqobi: Yes.
Thando: Are you sure? We can talk if you want.
Mnqobi: As if talking has ever helped anyone.
Thando: Don't say that.
She sits next to me and holds my hand.
Thando: It helps, sometimes you need to talk about something to heal from it.
Mnqobi: What if I don't want to heal? What if I just want things to go back to the way they were. Turn back the hands of time.
Thando: We can't change the past, you can try to change the future though. Make it what you want it to be. It's not okay to bottle things up. You'll end up losing things and people that matter the most to you because you'll keep making bad decisions
I chuckle.
Thando: What?
Mnqobi: That was actually very smart, I can't believe it's coming from you.
Thando: I am smart, am I not?
Mnqobi: I don't know.
She giggles.
Thando: Stop it.
We both laugh.
Thando: You'll be okay though. Whatever it is that's eating you up is not going to finish you.
Mnqobi: What ? Where did you hear that? That's just stupid.
Thando: Get some sleep.
She laughs and tries to get up. I hold her hand , she looks at our hands before we lock eyes. I look at her lips and she has thick lips and I just want to kiss them. I brush them with my index finger. I move my hand to her chest and I cup her breast, she closes her eyes and release a soft moan.
Thando: Mnqobi……
Mnqobi: Shh.
I pull her to me and slowly place a soft perk on her lips. I kiss her and deepens the kiss, she holds me tight and gets on top of me. She's wearing a short nightdress. I hold her butts and squeeze them. She's not wearing any underwear. I move my hand to her clit and brush it slowly. She moans in my mouth.
Mnqobi: You like that?
Thando: Yess.
I slowly insert my finger inside her and she holds me tighter while kissing me. I move it up and down. She's so warm and wet. She unbuckles my belt and unzips my trouser. My stick springs out and she giggles.
Thando: Woah!
I hold her by her waist while she inserts it inside her. As they say, the rest is history.

YIKHOKONKE
It is now Saturday Midday. Newton and Siziwe have settled in. The sky is clear and the sun is out. You know what that means. We are wearing bikinis! Me and the girls are sitting by the pool and Newton and Mnqobi are braaing meat. Iba invited Thabo and he is standing there staring at Mnqobi and Newton with his hands in his pockets. Lazy ass man.
Siziwe is wearing a pink bikini, Thando white and Iba purple. Want to guess the color of mine?black obviously. Thando and Iba are drinking ciders. Me and Ziwe are drinking juice.
Iba: So Sizi girl how long have you been dating Newton?
Ziwe: Please call me Ziwe.
Iba: Why?
Konke: It's literally quite obvious Iba, why are you calling her Sizi? That means sorrow.
Thando: Do you want to bring sorrow to the poor girl's life?
Iba: Oh you Zulus and taking everything serious.
Konke: No Iba this is serious. Names carry more power than you can ever imagine.
Iba: Oh whatever. So ZIWE how long have you been with the yellow guy?
Ziwe giggles.
Ziwe: Two months.
Iba: And already you're moving in together?
Ziwe: Yeah. I had personal problems that forced me to leave home and this is temporary. I'm looking for a place to stay. I also do not like the fact that I have to live with a man.
Konke: That's smart .
She looks at me and smile.
Thando: How old are you?
Ziwe: Nineteen.
Ibanathi chokes on her drink.
Iba: Excuse me?
Thando: She said she's nineteen. What? Is that a problem to you?
Iba: No I'm just wondering what made her leave home so young.
Konke: Ushilo nje ukuthi unezinkinga oe.( But she did say that she has problems friend.)
Iba: I'm not judging her , I was just saying…….
Thando: No save it Iba. Don't talk about this anymore. Just shut it!
Iba: Yoh!
She says sipping on her cider. Ziwe looks down. She's so shy. Iba will take advantage of her. Iba is very rude and if you don't stand up to her , she never stop.
Konke: So Ziwe are you studying or working?
Ziwe: None.
Konke: Oh okay.
I don't want her to think I'm also bullying her like Iba.
Ziwe: I finished matric last year. I applied but apparently the constitutions are full.
Konke: I'm so sorry to hear that.
Ziwe: No it's okay sis. I'm applying to be a model while I wait for next year's applications to open.
Thando: That's good , I hope it all goes well.
Ziwe: Thank you.
My phone rings. It's Nkosana , I smile.
Me: Excuse me ladies.
I get up and stand a little far from them.
Nkosana: Hlabath'zolwandle.
Me: Hi.
Nkosana: Kunjani mama?(How are you?)
Me: I'm okay, how are you?
Nkosana: I'm not okay.
Me: Why?
Nkosana: I miss you.
I giggle.
Me: But you saw Thursday.
Nkosana: I want to see you everyday. I feel like I'm losing my mind because I didn't see you yesterday.
Me: Well I can't leave right now . I'm with my friends.
Nkosana: I knew you would say that. I'm outside, just 2 minutes of your time.
Me: You're outside?
Nkosana: Yes .
Me: Okay I'm coming.
I cover my bottom body with a towel and wear my slides.
Me:Girls, I'll be back just now.
I open the gate and see him standing near his car across the street. I smile and run to his arms. I didn't know I also wanted to see him because why am I so happy to see him. He holds me tightly. We hug for sometime in silence, enjoying each other's embrace.We break the hug.
Nkosana: Waze wamuhle.(You're so beautiful.)
He perks my forehead after saying that.
Me: Thank you.
Nkosana: Are you guys swimming?
Me: No we're just sitting near the pool. I'm scared of water .
Nkosana: You are scared of water?
Me: Yes.
Nkosana: How is that a thing?
Me: I don't know but I get anxiety when I see water. When I'm close I get dizzy. The pool is better though because I can dip my feet inside without getting anxiety or dizzy.
Nkosana: I see. We learn everyday you know. Oh before I forget.
He opens his car and take out flowers.
Nkosana: This is for you.
Me:You bought me flowers? Oh thank you so much.
I hug him. We break the hug and I take the flowers from him.
Me: Oh thank you so much.
Nkosana: No you're welcome.
Me: They are really beautiful.
Nkosana: Like you.
Me: Well thank you. Next time they should come with money.
I say jokingly.
Nkosana: Yes ma'am .
I giggle and smell them.
Me: No one has ever done anything like this for me before.
He looks at me and smile.
Me: What is it?
Nkosana: Nothing ,it's just that you're really beautiful. You have the most beautiful smile I've ever seen. Your skin is smooth as a newborn's .
He touches my cheek with the back of his fingers as he says that.
Nkosana: You always smell nice and all these little things just makes me want to be with you everyday of my life. I feel like I've known you my whole life. I feel complete when I'm with you. Ngyakthanda MaNyambose.(I love you MaNyambose.)
That's so cute and it's making me emotional. I don't remember any man pouring his heart out for me like this.
Me:I love you too.
Nkosana: Really?
Me: What?
It's only now that I realize what I just said. I got lost in the moment.
Nkosana: Did you mean what you just said?
Me:Uhm no ,no I mean yes. No!
Nkosana: What are you saying?
Me: I'm saying that I don't feel the same way about you I'm sorry.
Don't get me wrong. I think I have fallen for him. He is a really nice guy and he cares for me but I just can't shake off the feeling that I might still be walking with Sizwe's dead ass spirit. I don't want to hurt him.
Nkosana: Oh okay. We can still be friends.
Me: No I don't think that's a good idea. I think we should just stop seeing each other.
Nkosana: What!? Why? What did I do wrong?
Me: Nothing. Please don't ever call me again.
Nkosana: MaNyambose.
Me: I have to go.
I run to the house. I know you're probably judging me but I have a bad experience when it comes to love. After Sizwe's death every guy I sleep with dies. My virgin breaker died and the guy I dated after him left me after sleeping with me. This is why I have been single for a whole year. I like Nkosana and I think we could build a good thing together but that will never happen as he will die or leave me after sleeping with me just like Simphiwe did.