CHAPTER 1-INTRODUCTION

The sun is blazing hot and I'm really looking forward to the end of today. I'm really nervous, something just doesn't feel right about this day.I have a very unsettling feeling in my stomach . I look at myself wearing a short dress for the first time in my life. I'm not even gonna lie it looks good on my body, I think. It's black in color and that just makes it even more sexy. It's holding my body tight. I don't have a flat stomach or curves and big butts like other girls in my school but my body is still perfect, right? I think I love black this much because I'm light skinned and black looks good on me.
Iba:Hold your stomach in friend.
That's my best friend she's the one who borrowed me this dress. She's from a rich family and I'm sure she's not even going to ask for it back. She is slim with a curvy body and a flat stomach just like the other popular girls at my school. Yep she is slim just imagine how tight her dress is on me.
Me:Why?
Iba:Sizwe can not see you like this.
Me: Hawu friend but he asked me on a date knowing very well that I don't have a flat stomach, I don't think he's going to have a problem with that.
Iba: What if he does.
Me:Then I'll go home. I'm not going to let a man body shame me just because.
Iba: Konke you need a boyfriend like Sizwe , he is from a rich family. If you date him you'll be famous.
Me:Stop stressing, Sizwe is a good guy. He will love me as I am.
Iba:Oh if you say so.
Me and Ibanathi have been friends since Primary school. We're very different though,very. She's dark skinned and I'm light skinned. She is slim and I'm thick. She likes bright colors and I like dark colors, specifically black. She is cold hearted and I'm soft hearted. She is rich and I'm not but still we love each other so much,The only thing we have common is the fact that we are the only children from our parents.We do not have siblings, we're our own siblings. I spray myself with her perfume .
Iba:Your ride is here ,come let's go.
I sigh and take my hand bag, following Iba downstairs as we were in her room. She is the one who requested the ride for me and paid , I don't have any money. We arrive outside and she gives me money.
Me:What is this for?
Iba: Transport, when you come back from your date.
Me: No friend Sizwe said he will take me home.
Iba: I don't care what he said. Take this money so that if something happens you can come home.
Me: Something like what?
Iba: Just take the money.
I take it and we hug. I get inside the car and it drives off. I'm nervous. I haven't been on a date since last year when I was forced to break up with my boyfriend who was my isiZulu teacher. Principal forced us to break up after some student pimped us out and he was fired. We haven't seen each other or talked since that day and sometimes I miss him. I really loved him, I think. He used to do things for me ,give me money and all. Sometimes we would have nothing to eat with my mother and the money he used to give me will help us.
Now I'm going to a date with one of the richest boys at my school Sizwe. We are the same age by the way. We are both 15 and we are at the same class. We're going to have our lunch date at his house. He is home alone. I told my mother that I'm going to Iba's house for a sleepover. I'm not going to sleep at Sizwe's house though, after the lunch I'm going back to Iba's house. The car parks outside Sizwe's house and he opens the door for me. We hug and go inside the house after greeting each other.
His house is huge. It is a triple story. It looks like a palace or something. He holds my hand as we go inside and up the stairs.
Me: Your house is beautiful.
Sizwe: Yeah ,my father worked hard for all of this.
We get upstairs and he opens the door, I get in and see a neatly cleaned room. It smells nice too. I get in and he gets in after me and closes the door.
Sizwe: This is my room.
I smile and nod.
Sizwe: Let's sit down.
We move to a table that is set by the window. His room is at the top. He pulls the chair for me and I sit down. He sits at an opposite direction and looks at me. I look at him too. I'm many things but shy.
Sizwe: You look beautiful.
Me: Thank you.
Sizwe: Let's eat.
He pours juice for us and we start eating.
Me: Won't your parents barge in here?
Sizwe: No ,they are on a vacation.
Me: Your siblings?
Sizwe: My older brother had things to take care of and my little sister is at my uncle's house.
Me: They trust you.
Sizwe: Why do you say so?
Me: They left the whole house with you.
Sizwe: I know how to behave.
Me: I can see.
We look at each and smile then continue eating.We are hardly saying anything to each other just eating and stealing glares. I'm nervous and it looks like he is too. He is also shy but as I have said I'm not a shy type. After we were done eating we sit in bed . This part is uncomfortable.
Sizwe: Are you comfortable?
Me: Uhh…Yeah ,yeah . I am.
I'm not but I'm scared to say so. He brushes my thighs.
Sizwe: You skin is so smooth Barbie.
Me: Barbie?
Sizwe: Yes you look like a Barbie doll.
Me: Thank you.
Was that even a compliment? I don't even know.
Sizwe: You're so innocent.
Innocent?What does he mean by that? Isn't it a compliment when someone calls you a doll?He holds my chin making me look at him. He leans towards me with his eyes closed. I get nervous as if it's my first time kissing someone. His lips meet mine and I stuck with my eyes wide open. I can't believe I just have been kissed by Sizwe, the hottest guy in school. His phone rings and he breaks the kiss smiling. I smile too and look down.
Sizwe: Sure……….When?............Okay I'll open it for you now.
He drops the call. He stands up and stand near the window and press some button. He looks outside the window as if he is searching for something or someone. I look around this room, it's beautiful and big like my mother's 2 room house. I see something peeking under the bed. I look closely and it's a gun. What is a gun doing here? He comes back to me. I sit up straight and force a smile .
Sizwe: So where were we?
He asks sitting next to me. He is now carrying another glass of juice, judging by it glass it's for me. He breaths on my neck and kisses it. His breathe is warm on my neck .That feels nice but I don't want him to break my virginity. Yes I'm still a virgin ,my last relationship was new and we haven't got there yet. I stand up.
Me:Uhh……Uhm I need to use the bathroom.
He licks his bottom lip and chuckles.
Sizwe: Sure! It's that way.
He points to a door behind me. I go to it and close it behind me. I shake in terror, did I really just see a gun that close? I have a fear of guns, I don't know if it's fear or what should I call it but I'm I get anxiety when I see a gun unless it's in a movie or TV. I wash my face. What is Sizwe doing with a gun?
I take out my small Nokia phone with buttons and dial Ibanathi's phone. It goes to voicemail. I call again, it goes to voicemail again.
Me: Come on ,Iba!
I call her again. She picks up.
Me: Iba?
Iba: Chomi I'm with Siboniso we will talk when you come back.
Me:Iba?.........Iba.?
Who am I kidding she has dropped the call. I need to pick myself up and go back inside. I sigh and hear people arguing at the other door. What is it now? I thought Sizwe said it was only me and him here. I get out and see Mnqobi and Sizwe arguing by the door, Mnqobi is my friend,my male bestie and I didn't know they knew each other enough to argue.
Me: Mnqobi!
Sizwe: Go back to the bathroom Konke.
Me: What's going on?
Sizwe: I said go back inside!
Mnqobi: Don't talk to her like that?
Sizwe: Why are you such a pain in the ass Mnqobi, do you also want her?
Mnqobi: Konke let's go, come.
I attempt to move towards him and Sizwe pulls out a gun and points it to Mnqobi who is attempting to pull something from behind him.
Sizwe: Don't even think about it.Letha la.(Bring it here.)
Mnqobi looks at me and pulls out a knife and puts it down. Why does he have a knife? He kicks it and it rolls towards Sizwe.
Sizwe: Hamba ke la!(Now leave!)
Mnqobi: Not without Konke.
Me: What's going on?
Sizwe:Leave!
Mnqobi: No Sizwe, don't do this please just let her come with me, you don't have to do this.
Sizwe: Mnqobi my boy you're the least favorite person to me right now, vaya!(Go!)
Mnqobi: Sizw……
He cocks the gun. Mnqobi raises his hands. Why is Mnqobi insisting on going with me am I in trouble or danger? Mnqobi is overprotective only when I'm in danger, something must be wrong.
Sizwe: Ngithe vaya!(I said leave.)
Mnqobi: I'm not going anywhere without Konke.
Sizwe: Entlek wena mfana awuzwa? Ngithe vayaaa!(Are you deaf boy? I said leave!)
I look at the gun under the bed. My heart skips a beat as I think of taking it . No maybe I can talk to Sizwe.
Me: Sizwe?
Sizwe: Wait a minute Barbie.Wena Mnqobi if you don't leave I'll blow your brains out.
I look at Mnqobi and he looks at me. I point the gun with my eyes. Mnqobi looks at it and stands near the door, making Sizwe face him , turning his back at me.
Mnqobi: I'll leave.
I slowly move towards the gun.
Sizwe: Step!
I pick it up and points it to Sizwe.
Me: Leave him alone Sizwe.
He turns to me and chuckles as soon as he sees me carrying a gun. I'm even shaking and sweating. This thing is heavy.
Sizwe: What are you going to do Barbie? Are you going to shoot me?
Me: If you don't let him…I mean us go . Yes. Probably…..just let us go Sizwe, please.
Sizwe: You're not going to do anything Barbie.
He turns to Mnqobi again and I cock the gun. I have seen people do it in movies as if it's easy, it's not.
Sizwe:Woah! Hey!
Me: Let us go Sizwe. Please.
I move towards them still pointing him. Sizwe laughs out loud.
Sizwe: No you're not going anywhere Barbie. Infact the both of you are not going anywhere now, Mnqobi get in.
He pushes him in and Mnqobi holds his gun. They fight for it.
Me:Guys stop! No!
Punches are thrown here and there and nobody is letting go of the gun.
Mnqobi: Konke shoot!
Me:No!
Mnqobi: Shoot now!.
I close my eyes and say a little prayer.
Me: Lord give me strength.
I hold the trigger.
Sizwe: Barbie no!
I pull the trigger with my eyes closed and there's silence. My ears ring. Do I want to open my eyes and see the damage I have done? No! I instantly feel dizzy. I shake and put the gun down. Did I just shoot someone? Or people? I'm scared to open my eyes. Someone holds my shoulder, I open them and see Mnqobi. I know what I just did.
Me: I killed him?
Mnqobi: I'm sorry Konke.
Me:No!
Mnqobi hugs me as I cry out loud . I can't believe I killed a man, a boy. He's only fifteen. I have cried all the tears I have.
Mnqobi: We need to get out of here.
He gets up and take the gun Sizwe was carrying and put it on the drawer. He takes one of his underwear and wipes the gun I was carrying. He makes Sizwe hold the gun. It's only now that I look at what I have done. I shot him at the head. I feel like vomiting. I can see white stuffs inside his head. Mnqobi gets me up.
Mnqobi: Let's go.
We run towards the door and down the stairs. Oh no!I forgot my bag.
Me: My bag!
Mnqobi: Where is it?
Me: In his room.
Mnqobi runs back upstairs. I fear his parents may come back. What is keeping Mnqobi there for so long. I see a car driving in , a man in his early 20's gets out of the car. I can see him through the glass door. Oh Lord. I run upstairs to Mnqobi. I meet him at the passage.
Me: Someone is here.
Mnqobi: Let's use the back door.
Back door?How does he know the back door? Where they friends? We run and he helps me jump over and he follows me. We catch a bus and go to his house . We get there and I sit on the floor and he sits in his bed. What have we done?What have I done?
Me: What will happen now? I'm going to be arrested?
Mnqobi: No! They will think it's suicide.
Me: Iba knows I was with him.
Mnqobi: Did you talk when you got there?
Me: No she said she was busy when I called her.
Mnqobi: Tell her you were calling because you couldn't reach Sizwe.
Me: I can't .
Sizwe: Why?
Me: Why? There's a lot of reasons. I'm a murderer!I killed someone, I don't even want to mention the two plates and glasses that are with his dead body.
Mnqobi: Will you calm down? I took care of that.
Me: Oh nothing will point to me being there.
Mnqobi: No.
Me: What were you doing there anyway?
Mnqobi: I came to get you.
Me: Why?
Mnqobi: You can't handle the truth Konke let's just leave it.
I don't have time to argue with him. I see Sizwe's shot face and tears fall down my cheeks. What have I done? What have I done? Mnqobi sits next to me and I cry silently in his arms.
Mnqobi: No one should ever know about this , not even Nathi . We pretend it never happened. We take it to the grave.
I nod while still crying silently. He holds me tightly and kisses my head.
Mnqobi: You can pull through. You're strong. You're the queen.
TBC………