CHAPTER 11

CHAPTER 11

[MNOTHO]

Coming here to Khutso did help, but I'm still stuck in my doubts and fear mode. I'll have to go see Nikky now and have a serious chat with her about the way forward, our plans, and how we'll maneuver through all of this. I sigh, glancing at Khutso, who's wearing that small grin on his face. Clearly curious about the woman who's turned me into a complete simp.

"Can you please keep this between us?" I ask politely. "At least until I make things official. I know you don't want to lie to your wife," I add.
He nods thoughtfully.
"I understand," he says. "And also, I hope we meet the lady soon." His tone turns teasing, and I can't help but let out a small laugh before standing up.
"She's a bit stubborn, but we'll see how it goes. I don't want to scare her too much," I say. She's already scared as it is, and the last thing I want is to push her further away.
"Mnotho," a voice calls from behind me. I turn, and it's Julia. She's smiling softly as she steps closer.
"Mrs. Lebese, how are you?" I greet politely. That's my cue to leave. She moves to stand next to Khutso, who slips an arm around her waist, hugging her gently.
"I think I should get going," I say, already halfway turned toward the door.
"You won't join us for dinner?" Julia asks, surprised. That wasn't my plan at all. I shake my head.
"No, I need to deal with something very important," I reply, my tone calm but firm. Her face falls a little, disappointed.
"At least stay a bit, I'll dish up for you and Bonga," she insists. She's always like this, kind but a little pushy too. If it were any other day, I might have stayed. But not tonight.
"Don't worry, Bonga will cook," I say with a small smile. "As I said, I have to go somewhere." Then I turn to Khutso. "Thank you so much. We'll chat soon."
He gives me a knowing nod.

I take one last glance at them, the comfort, the calmness, the warmth of their home, and the beautiful church, the community they've built, and how Khutso has kept his promises till now. Then I turn around and walk out, my heart heavy but clear on where it needs to be.

.
.
.

I have two houses in Mulbarton. The one I stay in with Bonga, and another that accommodates my family if they come this side. They mostly don't stay there; even when they visit, they all end up coming to my main house. I've been thinking of selling that other house because, honestly, I don't see the use of it anymore.
As always, part of my daily ritual now, I'm at the gate waiting for Nikky. I didn't even bother going to beg the guards to let me in this time. Nikky was quick to say she's coming. No arguments, no whys, just, "I'm coming." I thought she was going to be stubborn, especially since it's late now and she has work tomorrow.

I've already booked us into a hotel nearby. I just hope she won't freak out. Bangizwe will be fine with Bonga. Tshengisile responded that she'll bring Mtho this side and go see his dad, but she won't come. She said she'll only ship Mtho here. I didn't bother responding because, honestly, I don't understand how her mind works. And besides, Mtho is an adult nearing thirty. She should have done this long ago, when he was still well and healthy.

A knock on the window cuts through my thoughts. It's her. I unlock the door quickly, and she jumps in. Wow. I guess she was just as eager to see me. She's even smiling.
"Hi," she greets softly.
"You look happy," I point out. Maybe she's finally opening up to me. That's good.
She laughs a little.
"You said you don't like me when I'm grumpy, so I'm being bubbly, and you still complain," she says, half teasing, half serious.
"I'm not complaining," I say with a shrug. "I'm just happy to see you like this."
I pause for a second before adding, "I booked us into a hotel, and don't worry, it's a two-bedroom suite." I want her to feel at ease, to see that I'm not taking her there to take advantage of her.
"I have work tomorrow," she says quickly.
I nod. "I know. The hotel's not far. I'll bring you back here and help you get your things."
Everything's already planned out. "I was going to take you to my house, but it's a bit crowded," I explain.
She sighs heavily, her expression suddenly blank.
"Why are we going to the hotel?" she asks curiously.
"To talk," I say. "We have to talk. A serious conversation, honest and brutal."
She frowns. "A hotel? Can't we talk somewhere else? Like here in your car?" she asks cautiously.
"Because we can't talk properly in a car," I reply gently. "We need to be in a comfortable space. And I promise you, I won't do anything you won't like. I'm a gentleman, peaches."
I blink and soften my tone. "How about we go to my other house instead? It'll be just the two of us. I'm sure you're skeptical about being seen with me."
"Don't say it like that," she says, a little offended. "I don't have a problem being seen with you. I was just asking, that's all."
"It's okay," she adds after a pause. "We can go to your other house, as long as you promise me you'll bring me back in time tomorrow."
Music to my ears. A smile crosses my lips.
"And your friend?" I ask, just to make sure she's letting someone know where she's going.
"Well, we got into a little fight. I'll see her when she's calm," she says dismissively.

A fight? I won't ask. Not now.

__

I've never considered having a helper to clean my house. I only hire a cleaning company, and they come once a week, sometimes twice. It's just Bonga and me, and we're always working. We only come home late. We spend most of our weekends together if he doesn't have plans with his friends, and honestly, it can get very lonely. I do have meetings with my business associates, but they happen once a month, not every weekend. I can't go to Nquthu if I feel bored or lonely, my siblings would just make things worse.

"You should turn this place into an Airbnb. It's a beautiful house," Nikky says as she sits next to me. She went to get plates and dish up for us.
"Well, since you came up with that idea, how about you be the one who runs it? I'll support you," I say softly.
She smiles.
"Buying my love already, Mnotho?" she teases. I know she's joking; her sarcasm is always high, but somehow those words sting.
"I'm not buying your love, Nikezinkosi," I say, my voice a little serious.
She giggles softly and turns her attention fully to me.
"What do you want us to talk about?" she asks seriously, curiosity shining through.
I sigh, remembering Khutso's words. I guess he didn't tell Julia, otherwise she would have called by now.
I take a deep breath.
"I know there's… a lot to talk about. About us, about the age gap, and what people might say… and our fears," I admit honestly. She stays quiet, just staring at me.
"And I know, and I'm sorry for being dismissive… and for being pushy, expecting you to be okay with all this," I add.
"This is what I meant," she says, voice low. "I'm scared you'll want to control me, make me see your way only, ignore my point of view. I don't want to get hurt. Or for people to think… or for you to think… I don't know… that I'm being naive."
I shake my head quickly. Then I take her warm, soft, delicate hands in mine. She allows me to hold them; she doesn't pull them back. Wow. The simple touch makes my heart ache and race all at once.

"Sthandwa Sami, I don't think you're naive," I say firmly. "And to hell with what people think. None of that matters to me. My heart… it's found a home in you. I never expected this. I never planned it. But here I am. I want you. All of you. And I'll protect that, whatever it takes," I say, every word weighted with meaning.
Her fingers twitch in my grip, hesitant.
"But… you could have anyone, Mnotho. Why me? Why now?" she asks, her voice trembling slightly. "What happens if you get bored of me? What happens if I don't have the same vision as you? I'm young. I still have so much to figure out, so much I want to do. And you… you already have your life together, you know what you want. How will we make this work without hurting each other? Without ignoring each other's needs?"

I take a deep breath, my chest tenses. Her words pierce me, but I can't look away.
"Peaches … you're not naive or stupid. You're cautious. That's your strength," I say gently. "I don't want to control you. I want to love you. Respect you. Protect you. Give you the space you need to grow, to feel safe, to be yourself. We'll find our way together, not by force, not by rushing, but by understanding each other, trusting each other, slowly."
She bites her lip, searching my eyes. "And… you really think we can?"
"I do," I say, my voice low, sincere. "I've never been more certain of anything in my life. My heart is yours, Nikky. I'll wait for you. I'll wait for your trust. I'll wait for your comfort. I don't care about the noise, the opinions, or the age gap. None of that matters if I have you, if we have each other. I don't want to waste a single moment hiding it or pretending I'm okay without you."
A silence stretches between us, thick and warm.
She bites her lip. "It's scary. I feel like I want this, but I'm afraid it's… too right. Too much, too fast."
I cup her face gently, gazing into her eyes. "I'm scared too. Scared I'll mess this up, scared I'll push you away without meaning to. But I also know my heart won't listen to fear. I want to be with you, and I'll wait. I'll go slow. I'll be patient. We'll figure this together. We'll move at your pace."

Then I lean in. Our lips meet slowly at first, a gentle, testing kiss. Playfully, I nibble her bottom lip, teasing, earning a soft gasp from her. She presses back instinctively, and I can feel her smile against me.

It's not rushed. It's deliberate, teasing, full of the tension we've held for days. I feel her fingers against my neck, her pulse against my hand, and I know this moment is ours alone. I want to keep this forever, my heart skipping, racing, scaring me.
When we part slightly, my forehead rests against hers, and her eyes flutter open. I whisper softly, almost to myself, "I've waited for this… for you."

.
.
.

I hold her close, feeling her settle against my chest. I wrap my arms around her, careful, protective, wanting her to feel safe and cherished. She lets out a soft sigh, and I feel the tension in her body melt, little by little.

"You feel… amazing like this," I murmur, my lips brushing her hair. "So soft, so warm. I could stay like this forever."
She giggles quietly, tilting her head up to look at me. "Well… don't get used to it."
I gasp.
"You are a mean woman," I say, laughing a little. "Is this how our kids will be? Mean and grumpy?" I tease, but I notice her body tense slightly.
"I'm sorry, sorry. I shouldn't have mentioned kids. Let's just focus on the now," I say quickly. Good job, Mnotho, you're ruining the moment.
She sighs softly.
"Tell me more about your family," she asks gently. Oh, my family… Where do I start?
"Nothing much interesting about them," I say. "Well, it's just my siblings and I, and our children. And those distant relatives," I add.
She keeps quiet, waiting for me to continue.
"There's four of us: Tshengisile the eldest, followed by Bangizwe, then me, and Celiwe is the youngest," I continue, resting my chin lightly on her head.
"Oh, I see. How I wish you were an only child. Are your siblings married?" she asks. I laugh softly at the only-child comment.
"Bangizwe is married with five kids, Celiwe is married with three, and Tshengisile is divorced. She has two children, one of whom you'll meet soon," I say.
"Your sister's child?" she asks.
"Yeah," I reply.
"And you? You never got married?" she asks playfully.
"Well… I almost did, but it didn't work out," I answer honestly. "It wasn't with Bonga's mother, it's a different woman. And I can assure you, she's married to someone else. She won't come asking for love back," I add, half serious, half joking. To my surprise, she laughs.
Even though I love Nikky, sometimes I catch myself wondering how my life would have turned out if I had married Sthembile.
"And you?" I ask, curious now. I need to know my future in-laws.
"Well, I have two sisters. Nontobeko, the eldest, is married traditionally, her white wedding is in three months. And Ntombifuthi is still in high school," she says.
"You have no brothers? So I'll have to impress your sisters and your mother," I ask jokingly.
"Well, my mother is not easy to impress. It's going to be a tough mountain to climb," she says in a low voice. I guess I have a lot of work to do. "Plus her crazy brother-in-law, and her brother… oh God," she adds.
"Your father's brother?" I ask, curious.
"Yes. He just retired from the military. He once chased Letsatsi with a gun. Imagine that," she says, shaking her head. Excuse me?
"Who is Letsatsi?" I ask.
"My brother-in-law. Shame the poor man. He chased him all over Pimville! Imagine! But he likes him now," she says casually, as if it's no big deal.
"So… I'll be chased with a gun too?" I ask in disbelief. How crazy is this man?
She laughs softly.
"Oh, I don't know, sweetheart. You'll have to cross that bridge when you get to it," she answers.

What the hell…

•••••••

[KUKHOKONKE]

I can't sleep. Her cries, her sobs, keep replaying in my mind. No matter how much I try to block them out, no matter how hard I meditate, nothing works. Everything feels like it's crushing down on me. I should have been kinder to her, not so dismissive. She's a victim in all of this, caught in my web of discovery, constantly pulled toward me no matter what she does.
I sit up and switch on the lamp by my bedside. The clock reads 3 a.m. Oh wow. Perfect.

Now I feel like I'm the one who's going to cry. Nothing is making sense. Nothing is working out. Even those damn beads I bought… the bag wasn't sealed properly, and all the beads spilled onto the road. Scattering across the street, bouncing every which way, getting run over by cars. I just stood there, defeated, watching them, feeling like I was watching my own control slip away piece by piece.

I feel my eyes burning up, and I rest my face in my hands, sobbing softly. I'm tired of all this. I just want my life back. My simple life, not this complicated, haunting one.
A ringing sound fills my ears again, sharp and deep, followed by a heavy weight pressing down on my bed, like someone just sat beside me. My breath catches. I quickly move my hands from my face, my cheeks soaked with tears.

He's here.
And this time, he's showing himself.
"Why are you crying?" he asks.
I huff softly, half in disbelief. He can't seriously be asking me that.
"The problem is you don't listen to instructions," he says. His voice isn't harsh. It's calm, steady, too calm. "I always give you simple, easy instructions, but you do as you please, Kukhokonke."
He's calm in these haunting hours. I like the calm side of him. It means my crying reached him, softened him somehow.
"I'm doing my best," I whisper, my voice barely holding.
"I know," he says. "But it's not enough. You always think I'm hard on you, but I'm not. I've been soft with you since the day you were born."
That's hard to believe.
"I let you do as you wished. I let you continue with your earthly ways until I saw that you were ready, and then I came back to give you what belongs to you," he adds, his tone deep and final.
"I know…" I whisper.
"You chose this gift too," he continues, his voice calm but firm, "and there are many who would crave this gift. But I can see the hesitation in your eyes, the walls around your heart. You don't fully trust this gift. You don't see the good it brings."
He leans closer, his gaze unwavering.
"Open your heart, and everything will make sense. Everything will align without you overcomplicating it, without you letting anger blind you. You couldn't even notice the simple instruction I gave you, the thing you asked for, the way I showed you how to see it, how to recognise it. But your anger… it stopped you from noticing."
I frown, heart twisting. What did I fail to see?
"Tell me… what did I fail to see?" I ask, my voice trembling, almost pleading.
"Yibanathi will need a cleansing," he says gently, his tone firm. "And you will go home and cleanse her. Those people will come and pay what is due."
He pauses, letting the words settle, then adds softly, "Open your heart."

And just like that, he disappears, leaving me even more confused, more heartbroken, and with a weight I can't seem to shake.

__

I didn't sleep at all. My body feels heavy, drained, but I have to push through. Josh calls me to his office. He hasn't seen me since I got back from my two weeks' leave. I just hope my spiritual work hasn't started to mess with my job here.
I clutch my notebook tightly as I walk, the one where I've written all of Ndleleni's instructions. He swears I never listen, but I do. I'm trying.

The CEO's door is slightly open. I spot Josh talking with Paul, both leaning over some files. I knock lightly. Josh looks up and smiles, his whole face lighting up.

"Come in," he says warmly.
Paul barely glances at me, just a short nod before returning to whatever he's doing. His presence alone fills the room. He's the kind of man who doesn't have to speak to command attention.
I take a seat across from them, trying to keep my posture calm even though my heart is restless. Paul is the Chief Financial Officer here and Josh's close friend. One of those people who just belong in a suit. Clean accent, polished confidence. The kind of black man everyone calls a "coconut." Model C schooling, New money, effortless charm.

Josh's tone softens. "Welcome back. How are you feeling now?"
"I'm good, thanks for asking. I won't give you any problems," I say, forcing a smile.
Josh chuckles, amused. "Mr. Maseko, we can do this later," he says, glancing at Paul.
Paul doesn't even respond right away. He sighs hard, gathers his tablet, and stands up slowly. His cologne lingers, strong, woody, expensive.
"You'll call," he says to Josh, not even sparing me a full look before walking out.
As soon as the door shuts, the tension in the room deflates. Josh exhales, rubbing his forehead.
"So… you're okay? Like, really okay?" he asks, voice filled with genuine concern.
I can't tell him the truth about the ringing in my ears, the voices, the shadows at night. So I lie. I nod and smile as if everything's fine.
"Yes, I'm okay," I say softly. My throat feels tight. "Better, actually."
Josh studies me for a moment before nodding slowly.
"Well… remember when you passed out here in my office?"
A wave of embarrassment hits me. That day is burned into my memory, the confusion, the dizziness, the sudden blackout.
"Yeah. I'm really sorry about that," I say quickly.
He waves it off. "No, no, don't apologize. You actually helped me… a lot."
I blink, confused. "Helped you?"
He leans back, the weight of something emotional flickering across his face. "When you passed out, you said something. About my son, or at least, I thought it was about him."
My eyebrows lift. I have no memory of speaking.
He swallows hard. "Your message turned out to be true. Adam isn't my son."
The words hang between us, heavy and unreal. I feel my stomach twist. I don't even remember saying it, yet his pain feels sharp, raw, and real.
"I…I'm so sorry, Josh," I whisper, guilt washing over me.
He shakes his head, forcing a small, sad smile. "Don't be. You just confirmed what I've been avoiding for years. So… thank you."
My heart aches for him, for the quiet hurt sitting behind his calm expression.
He clears his throat, his tone softening again. "Look, I want you to know your job is safe here at Y3. Whatever this gift is, I respect it. If you ever feel unwell, spiritually or otherwise, you can work from home. No questions asked."
For a moment, I just stare at him, shocked, relieved, and overwhelmed. No one's ever said something like that to me before.
"Thank you, Josh," I say finally, voice thick. "I really appreciate that."
He nods gently. "Take care of yourself, Konke. The world clearly needs you, even when you don't understand how yet."

__

"You don't see the good it brings." Those words have been ringing in my head. Ndleleni wasn't lying. My job is safe. Even though I don't remember delivering those news to Josh, I'm happy I did. Wow. I guess I should do as Ndleleni said, I should open my heart…

"Mthimkhulu."
The voice snaps me out of thought as I step into the parking lot.
It's Paul, smoking.
"Are you okay?" I ask, stopping across from him. He drops the cigarette, crushing it under his polished shoe.
"I'm not good, man. I need your help," he says.
My what? I almost laugh.
"Don't be shocked. Josh told me and I think you can help me too," he continues.
"Help you how?" I ask, folding my arms. I don't like this. So now the whole building is going to start asking for spiritual favours for free?
"There's a deal I need to close, and I need you to do something. I don't know, throw your bones or whatever," he says with a shrug.
This bastard. Who said I even use bones?
Before I can answer, he steps closer and places his hand on my shoulder.

Then it hits.
That heavy pressure again. The ringing sound. The faint dripping of water. My breath catches and when I gasp, I'm no longer in the parking lot.
I'm standing by a waterfall.
The air is cold and wet. I'm dressed in blue now, a long flowing garment, blue beads around my neck. My feet sink into shallow water, icy and alive. The mist touches my face as I turn around, blinking in confusion.
"Diamond," I whisper.
She's here. Again.
"What are you doing here?" I ask, voice tight, heart racing.
"The water keeps flowing… what if I drown?" she says, voice trembling with fear.
Her fear crawls into my chest, heavy and cold.
"You called. You said we should meet here," she adds softly, eyes wide, pleading.
No. She can't cry again. I can't take it. Every tear feels like a knife twisting in me.
"Okay, okay, let's get out of the water before you drown," I say, rushing toward her.
But the moment I reach for her hand, something shifts beneath us.

A pull. Deep, angry, alive with rage.
The water rises violently, dragging us both down. She screams my name, panic flooding her voice.
I grab her hand tighter, my heart pounding as the water roars louder. It's stronger now, furious, almost restless, like it wants to tear us apart. Diamond's fingers are cold, trembling in mine.
"Don't let go!" she cries, voice cracking.
"I'm not!" I shout back, tightening my grip, but the ground is moving, slipping away beneath my feet. The waterfall crashes around us, deafening. My free hand claws at the air, searching for something solid, a branch, a rock, anything, but there's nothing. Only the endless rush of water and mist.
"Diamond, hold on!" I scream, my voice breaking.
She's gasping, choking, crying. "Konke, please!"
"I've got you!" I say, but my voice shakes, and I don't believe it anymore. My arms burn from the force. The water is pulling her harder, as if it's decided she doesn't belong to this world anymore.
And then, her watch slips off.
Her wrist slides through my hand.
"Diamond!"
She's gone.
Swallowed by the water. Just like that.

The sound that rips from my throat doesn't even feel human. I dive forward, clawing at the water, screaming her name until my lungs give out. All I see is blue, endless, cold, merciless blue. The beads around my neck grow heavier, dragging me down. My chest feels like it's collapsing. I keep reaching, keep calling her, until my voice is gone and the waterfall swallows it whole.

Then silence.
Everything stops.
When I open my eyes, I'm back at the parking lot. Drenched. Shaking. My knees nearly buckle beneath me. My heartbeat sounds like thunder in my ears.

Paul is standing in front of me, frozen. His face pale.
"What the hell just happened to you?" he whispers, stepping back.

I try to speak, but nothing comes out. My throat feels full of water, and all I can taste is the river and the echo of her scream still trapped inside my head.