CHAPTER 10

CHAPTER 10

[DIAMOND]

I need to get a second-hand car. I have some money in my fixed account that's been growing every three months with interest. It's not enough, but it won't raise any suspicion if people ask where I got the money to buy a car. I also have a meeting with Snothando about planning Nikky's getaway party in Magalies. I was shocked that she agreed to come to the meeting, but I guess since it's about Nikky, she'll show up.

On the heist, we made so much money, plus those other gadgets and phones we'll sell, it will push us for another three months or so. Tumi and Sika will be responsible for selling that stuff since they work for themselves, while me and Tk have real bosses breathing down our necks. As for Sbo, he's too impatient to be a seller.
Right now, I didn't go to work because I'm tired, tired of Nicole, tired of pretending, tired of everything. And I know tomorrow she'll give me attitude again. Lawyers are extremely rude and arrogant, but if all goes well, I want to open my own law firm one day.

Today is about relaxing and taking myself out for some pampering. Yesterday, Sika went to the mall we hit to check if there's any news about our heist, and lucky for us, those guys Tk said would be our fall guys got arrested. They went to that same shop we stole from and the jewelry store and got caught. So there's nothing that will come back to us. All we need to do now is avoid that mall.

We asked Tk if he knew those guys and he said yes, just his arch-enemies. He didn't get into much detail but promised us they know nothing about who set them up. So we're in the clear.
Since Nikky loves Samsung phones, I took one for her and some beautiful phone cases we stole. Lol! It'll be like a birthday gift from me to her. She's too observant, but I know she won't ask much. She thinks I'm a good person.

"You're awake," Paul says, trying to kiss my cheek. I shift a little, jumping out of the bed. He frowns.
"Good morning, Paul. I have to leave," I tell him. I didn't go home because I wanted to get laid one last time by him. He has a girlfriend now, and that means it's time for me to end this situationship we have.
"Come on, let's have breakfast. I'll call room service," he says, also jumping out of bed. I quickly shake my head. It's time to end this.
"Paul, you have Nelly now, and I know she won't appreciate you cheating on her," I say.
He frowns. "Come on, Nelly and I just started dating, and I want you around. I like this."

I chuckle lightly. He can't be serious. We've been doing this for months now because he said he didn't want a relationship, but that we could take care of each other's needs. And I'm also a woman with needs too. But it gets to a point, he's in love with Nelly now, and he wants to keep me as his little secret. I don't want to end up catching feelings for him and becoming some bitter side dish or whatever category he puts me in. It was nice, but I'm done.

"Paul, it was wonderful, but let's go our separate ways. Go to Nelly and be faithful to her," I say as I pick up my clothes and head to the bathroom. I need to take a quick shower, then go back to my flat to change into something nice.
I'm tired of sneaking around and going to hotels with him like I'm his dirty secret. He has money, and he spoils me here and there, but I don't want to deal with his girlfriend. It stings a little because he gave Nelly a spot, and I've been with him for so long, but maybe that's what I needed, a reminder that I can't build love out of stolen moments.

Maybe I've been so used to stealing things that I forgot what it feels like to be chosen honestly.
I take a deep breath, stepping into the shower, and whisper to myself, "No more being anyone's secret."

.
.
.

I've blocked Paul's number, but he's been calling since I left the hotel. He'll live and be fine, playing happy boyfriend to Nelly. I'm waiting for Snothando, and I know she's taking her precious time wherever she is. I really don't like dealing with that girl, but I don't have a choice. I want to get this meeting over with and go home, cook something simple for Nikky, something edible and comforting.

My phone vibrates. Unknown number. Maybe I won the lottery. I answer anyway.
"Hello," I greet, polite.
"Dee, please don't hang up, it's me," Paul says, his voice pleading. This bastard.
"What do you want?" I snap, annoyed.
"Can we meet? Please. You can't just drop us like this. Let's talk about it, baby," he begs. Baby?
"No, Paul. I was serious. We are done. Or do you want me to call Nelly and tell her?" I warn him, cold.
He huffs. "You won't do that. Why involve Nelly in our issues? This is between you and me. No third party."
"You involved Nelly the moment you started dating her. You already dragged her into this, so don't pretend you can keep things neat," I say. "Leave me alone, or I'll show up at Y3 and embarrass you." I hang up, irritated and furious.
Why is he suddenly obsessed? God, what did I even put myself into? I need cocktails and a plan. Y3 is only a thirty-minute drive. Maybe I'll go, make a scene, and humiliate him in front of his colleagues. That thought makes my chest burn with a small, satisfying heat.

_

"There's a lot of beautiful places we can go too," Sno says, clearly judging. What's wrong with Magaliesburg? They have beautiful lodges. And this is about Nikky; she once mentioned that she wants to go to Magalies. I sip my cocktail, finishing it. I need more. I raise my hand, and the waitress quickly comes.
"Can I please have another one," I tell her softly. She nods and walks off.
Sno has this judging expression on her face.
"Another cocktail? This early in the morning?" she says.
"It's not even that early in the morning. What are you talking about?" I reply, sipping my drink.
"Can we focus on planning this? I can do it myself if you don't mind," I say. I honestly don't need her help. She rolls her eyes, cocky as ever.
"Okay, I can deal with a guest list, 'cos this looks simple to me, a small party, your things," she says, that condescending tone cutting through the air.
"No, actually, you can leave, Snothando. I won't stay here listening to you judging everything I'm doing. You won't even pay a cent; Sbo and I will," I say, annoyed. "And I hope this is the last time you use that condescending tone with me. I'm not your friend," I add, pissed.
The waitress appears and drops my cocktail.
"Oh chill, I'm sorry, I was just saying," Sno says, shrugging innocently. "Magalies is fine, I'll invite a few people too, and make it look like a real party," she adds.
"Only people Nikky knows, maybe three or four. The lodge I found will cater for twenty people," I say. I know Zola will want to come to the party, Ntobe too. Futhi can't come since she's underage.
She nods.
"Okay, I guess that will be fine. Should we get a DJ? We will need one, and as you know, that's my area of expertise," she says.
Yes, a DJ will do. I nod and write it in my notebook.
"The theme, how about any shade of green and white?" she asks. Mmh, that's not bad. That can work since Nikky doesn't have a favourite colour, and I think most people would have a green outfit.
I pause for a second, swirling the last drops of my cocktail.
"Green and white it is," I say finally, jotting it down carefully. "Let's keep it simple, elegant, and fun. Nikky deserves that. No overcomplicating things."
Sno smiles, but I catch a hint of hesitation in her eyes, maybe she didn't expect me to take charge like this. I shrug internally. I'm tired of people questioning my decisions, even if it's 'just planning a party.'
"Okay," she says softly, "green and white. I'll start looking for some decoration ideas and quotes for the invites."
I smile faintly. Finally, some progress. At least one thing today is moving the way I want it to.

Nikky's party will be perfect, no matter what.

.
.
.

Snothando will continue talking more and updating each other via WhatsApp. She had to rush to the radio station; one of her artists had an interview. For what it's worth, it all went well. I won't go to Y3 and embarrass myself. No, I'm a lawyer, for crying out loud; I can deal with Paul if he starts again.

As I look for the cab spot, I see a big golden-brown shop with a sign that reads Mystic Shop. I frown, pausing. I've never seen this shop before, and I always come this way every day for lunch. My eyes drop to my feet, and I notice water flowing from the shop, stopping right at my feet. What the hell is going on? I see sea salts of different colors displayed in the windows. Maybe it's a sign that I should get some, cleanse my aura and get rid of the bad energy Paul left behind. I cancel my ride and rush into the shop.

Inside, it's beautiful, warm, and smells comforting. I look around. There are crystals everywhere. I know nothing about crystals, Nikky once mentioned them in passing. She's the one who knows much about astrology and all this kind of stuff. Wow, I should bring her next time. There are tables and chairs; I wonder what those are for.

I hear water dripping softly and follow the sound. I pause and spot a woman helping a man at the counter. Black people? I thought these things were mostly for white people, the ones who are usually so interested in this. I walk slowly. The woman raises her head and spots me. A smile crosses her face, and she's wearing a large ankh necklace.

"How can I help?" she asks, still smiling.
As I step closer, the man turns slightly, bumping into me and dropping the beads all over the floor. I freeze and quickly bend down. The beads scatter, jumping everywhere. Oh, fuck! I raise my eyes to apologise, but I freeze again.
"You!!" he says, shocked. I quickly stand up. I smile nervously. He's okay, alive, and real too.
"Hi," I manage to say. That's all I can say. I remember how I cried for him and ended up going to Paul just to forget about this man.
"Again? Who are you? And you messed up my things here," he says, looking at the floor, oh, his beads.
"I'm sorry, I'll buy them for you," I say and turn to the lady, who is still smiling, unshaken by all this interaction.
"No, no, you are not buying me a thing," the man says, irritated. "Ma'am, I'll take another mini bag of beads and please keep the mini bag sealed this time," he adds softly. The lady bends down, takes the white beads, and hands them to him.
"White beads? What are they for?" I ask, curious, turning to the man. He says nothing and hands the lady some cash. Then he nods and starts to walk away. I quickly follow him.
"Come on, why are you leaving? Can we talk?" I say, almost begging.
He pauses, turns, and looks at me. He looks tired and clearly bored by always bumping into me.
"I don't know what you want, woman, but it's starting to scare me now. Stop stalking me," he says. I feel something shift in my heart. I'm not stalking him. I blink, unsure why I suddenly feel sad, and the urge to cry wells up.
"I'm not stalking you," I say, my voice breaking a bit. What is going on with me?
He scoffs, shaking his head, and turns to leave.
"If you leave, I'm going to cry," I say, and I mean it. I am dead serious, if he leaves now, I'll cry.
He pauses, stunned, and turns again, clearly in disbelief.
"You are crazy," he says, annoyed.
And that's when I lose it. The tears fall uncontrollably.
His jaw drops. His eyes widen, and he takes a step back, as if the sight of me crying is physically shocking. He freezes in place. His whole posture screams confusion and disbelief, like he's witnessing something he didn't expect at all.
"I… I…. what?" he stammers, voice catching. His usual irritation has vanished, replaced with something else.. something softer, hesitant, maybe even guilty.
I can barely breathe through my sobs. My chest heaves, and I feel utterly exposed.
"Sisi…" he says, almost whispering. His voice is low, and there's a hint of something in it I've never heard before, concern. He swallows hard, glances at the scattered beads, then back at me.
"I… I didn't know," he adds, finally taking a careful step closer. His hands twitch as if he wants to reach out, unsure if he should. His usual arrogance is gone.
I sniffle, blinking rapidly, trying to regain some composure.

We're sitting down now. The lady gave me a glass of water and some tissues. I feel embarrassed. The man is looking at me with concern and disbelief.

"I'm sorry, but I needed to talk to you," I say in a low voice.
He narrows his eyes and huffs softly.
"What do you want? Need some spiritual guidance?" he asks. A spiritual what now? I shake my head.
"No… I'm just curious, that's all. We've been bumping into each other, and… you mentioned something the other day about me calling you, which is weird because I don't have your number," I say.
"Well, you called, Miss…" he says, sounding a little irritated.
"Diamond. My name is Diamond Sokhulu," I say. He should at least know my name.
He sighs softly.
"Diamond, I have no answers for you, and I really don't know why we always bump into each other," he says. "But there's nothing we can do about this until you tell me what's bothering you or if you need help, I can refer you to someone."
My heart breaks. Refer me to someone? No, I can't allow that.
"No, don't refer me to someone," I say firmly. Why do I feel like he wants to run?
He closes his eyes for a second, then opens them slowly.
"Diamond, I said I have no answers for you unless you're the one who's busy stalking me and following me," he says, turning into his rude self again.
"I'm not stalking you. I'm not following you. I'm also confused and scared like you. I have no answers either," I say, my voice trembling again.
"Well, I guess we'll keep bumping into each other until we find out why. But for now, let's try not to step on each other's toes. And I don't know how you do it, but if you're in trouble, call the police not me," he says, standing up, his hands slipping into his pockets.
My heart sinks.
"You're leaving?" I ask, my voice low and sad.
He nods.
"I'm leaving. And my name is Kukhokonke."
With that, he walks off. My eyes follow him through the window. I watch until he disappears into the crowd.

Why does it hurt to see him walking away from me?
Should I follow him or let him go?

•••••

[MNOTHO]

Bangizwe is here. We argued a bit about Mtho's situation, he's guilt-tripping me like Tshengisile. I keep telling them that Mtho needs his father, not me. Yes, he may listen to me and see me as a role model, but I can't fill his father's shoes. His father is here in Gauteng. If they want to bring Mtho here, they should go to Roodepoort where his father resides.

"So, you won't help?" he asks.
I sigh hard, leaning back in my chair. Yoh!I'm suffering here.
"I'll only take him to his father. That's my deal.. take it or leave it," I say firmly.
He huffs, shaking his head.
"You know that'll hurt Tshengisile. She wants nothing to do with that man," he says.
"Well, that's bad," I reply flatly. "Then I guess Mtho won't get any help and will turn into the worst junkie." I shrug. "And this isn't about her; it's about Mtho. It doesn't matter how much she hates that man. Mtho needs help."
Tshengisile behaves like a toddler sometimes.
Bangizwe gives me that disapproving look again. I don't care. That won't move me at all.
He clears his throat.
"About the hijacking… are you sure you got the right guys?" he asks, cautious now.
"I'm a hundred percent sure," I say. "I even went to where they hid the equipment and medicine, but they told me they sold some to… you know, drug dealers." I sigh, annoyed. "This was an inside job. We should be alert from now on. I even told Bonga too. They didn't want to give me the name of the person who knows all our routes."
I'll set a trap for this person myself. I won't tell Bangizwe or Bonga, I know these two, they can't keep their mouths shut.
"I hope we catch him, or them, soon. It can be more than one person, you know," he says with a shrug.
It doesn't matter. They'll be caught.

My phone vibrates, and a smile spreads across my face when I see who it is.
Nikky.
"I won't need your ride. My brother-in-law will be fetching me this evening," the text reads.
My face drops a little. Damn, this feels like a breakup. And why is her brother-in-law fetching her? Where was he all this time?
"What's wrong?" Bangizwe asks.
I shake my head and type a short, sweet text back, telling her I love her. I know she won't say it back. Not yet. She's still guarding her heart, afraid I might break it. But I'll open it gently, piece by piece, until she trusts me.

It's been three days since that kiss, and I've been stealing a few more. She acts like she doesn't like it but her eyes tell a different story. The way her breath catches, the way she looks away when I smile at her… I know.

We haven't made it official yet, but I know for sure that soon, she'll be here in this house, next to me.
I'll go see her anyway. Her brother-in-law won't stop me. In fact, I'm thinking of buying the whole flat where they're staying so I don't have to stand at the gate begging the guards to let me in. Last time, I had to bribe them just to get inside and of course, I fixed those damn lights on the stairs myself. Yes, I hired people to do it, but it was all my work.

I'll meet the owner and hear his price, because it's clear he's not interested in fixing that building. My lady was climbing those stairs with flickering lights; what if something happens to her? What if some weirdo corners her in those dark stairs and tries… no. No.
A loud bang on the table startles me.
"Mnotho!"
I blink. Bangizwe is glaring at me.
"What's wrong with you? I've been calling your name," he says, annoyed.
I groan. "Leave me alone. I'm thinking here."
"Thinking about what? You look stressed," he points out.
I am stressed. I have the caretaker's number for that building. I could buy it without Nikky knowing. But she'd get angry, eish.. and I'd be doing exactly what she fears: being controlling.
Is this control? No. It's love. It's protection. I just want her safe.
"I'm going to buy a flat in Maboneng," I tell him.
He frowns. "A flat? Why? What for?"
I don't answer. If I say it's about a girl, he'll freak out. I'm still shocked Bonga hasn't mentioned my relationship with Nikky to them yet. My child has a big mouth, he definitely takes after Julia.
His phone rings, pulling his focus from me. He smiles faintly and stands up.
"Let me take this call," he says, walking out. That has to be his wife.
I sigh as the door closes behind him.
I want that too. I want someone to share this chaotic life with. And I've found her, I know I have.
But why does it feel so scary and hard?

I understand Nikky. All her fears, all the eyes that will judge her for being with me. I know it'll hurt her deeply. I love her. I care about her. But I also feel like I'm losing a bit of control with this whole age gap situation.
Maybe I shouldn't be pushy. Maybe I should let things move slow and steady without rushing her. She's still young. She's scared.

And I told her I'm not love bombing her, I actually do love her. I even had to search that term up. A bunch of other words followed, questioning my feelings for her even more. But my heart wants what it wants, and it won't stop beating this hard, like it'll explode, until I can finally call her mine.
I need to visit Khutso. He'll help me clear my head. I need to talk to someone close about this, maybe as a man seeking advice from a pastor.
If my brother weren't so judgmental, I'd go to him. But that won't work. So Khutso it is, a man who once took the mother of my child from me.
I'm not bitter about that anymore. Honestly, I'm not. Because if that hadn't happened, I wouldn't be here now, imagining a life with someone else, someone I actually see a future with.
Julia is right where she belongs.
And Nikky… Nikky belongs here too, in my heart, in my life. And with that, I know challenges will come. But I'll be ready to face them.

I just hope she'll be ready too, and won't run away from them.

__

Dineo, Khutso, and Julia's daughter run off to call her father. I make myself comfortable on these church benches. She told me it is just her and her dad. Julia went out. That's perfect because I don't want her to know either. I don't want to jinx this relationship with Nikky, there are already doubts and fears surrounding it. After this meeting, I will go to see her; I won't be able to sleep without seeing her.

"Mnotho, what a lovely surprise," Khutso says, taking a chair and sitting across from me. I'm not a church person; I only attend when there's a big celebration or something.
"How are you doing? How's the conference planning going?" I ask. Maybe I should do some donations.
He sighs tiredly.
"Always draining but worth it. Julia went to meet with the owner of the venue," he says. I nod repeatedly.
"You'll tell me when you need extra hands," I say gently.
"That would be lovely," he says, giving me a tight smile. His expression shifts from calm to curious. "I know you didn't come here to talk about the conferences. What's wrong?" he asks.
I sigh heavily, like there's something crushing me.
"I need to take something off my chest, and I didn't know who to talk to," I start.
"That's okay. No judgment here. We are in the Lord's house," he says calmly.
I nod.
"My heart has found a home, and I don't know if I'm ready for what it comes with," I say, resting my elbows on my knees. He looks at me for a moment, calmly, and smiles a little.
"Well, we knew this day would come. You weren't going to avoid this. You are not a rock; you are human," he says gently and sighs. "What's stressing you? That you might get hurt, or that you will hurt that person, knowingly or unknowingly?"
I keep quiet for a while.
"I guess both. I'm really scared that it might turn into the biggest nightmare, and I don't want to see her heart get hurt," I admit.
"In life, we will hurt people we love. That doesn't mean we love them less. It's just part of how life goes," he says, still gentle and calm.
"This time around is very different. I'm scared that if I mess this up, I might not love again. I fear that the way I'm rushing her and pushing her, I might cause her to leave or prevent her from giving me a chance to love her," I say truthfully. As much as Nikky has her fears, I do too.
"I care about her. A lot. Maybe more than I should," I admit, my voice breaking slightly. "And she's scared. I can see it. I keep telling myself to give her space, to not rush things, but it's like my heart doesn't listen. I want to protect her, provide, make her feel safe but every time I try, I feel like I'm scaring her instead."
He nods thoughtfully.
"So, you are trying to control the situation," he says. "That will scare her, of course, if you push too hard."
"That's not what I'm trying to do," I say quickly.
"I just want her to trust me, and know I won't... I won't break my promises to her. Her fears are valid, to be honest. She's very young, and she's scared that people will judge her, shame her for being with me. I can see the doubt in her eyes every time I tell her I'll protect her and love her despite what other people say about us. She's scared my family and hers might not approve of this," I confess.
He chuckles lightly.
"Well, it makes sense why she has fears. The world will judge, of course. That's how humans are wired; rules and lines drawn we were conditioned not to cross," he says. "You are scared too. That fear of losing her is natural. But you have to ask yourself, are you loving her for her, or are you trying to fill a void for yourself? Love becomes suffocating when it's mixed with your own fears and need to control the outcome."
I swallow hard. His words hit deeper than I expected. "I… I just want her to trust me. I want her to see that I'm here for her, that I won't hurt her."
Khutso places a firm but gentle hand on my shoulder.
"You can't control her reactions. You can only control your actions. Be honest, be consistent, and be patient. Let her choose to step closer to you. If you love her, you'll let her pace the journey too. If you really love her, you will allow her to meet you halfway. If you see a future with her, let her be. Let it flow naturally. She still has a guard up because of societal expectations, and of course, she might fear you want to treat her like an object or control her. Maybe she's scared you might try to ruin her future, that you'll control what she does or make her lose her identity by being with you," he says. I close my eyes, bowing my head. God help me.

"You are a good man. She will see that too. Just let go of control and fear. Let love move the way it should. Don't force anything. If it's meant to be, all will go smoothly, Mnotho. This is about love, patience. This is not a business transaction where you want everything to be perfect and demand control. We are talking about a young girl's fragile feelings. Wait for trust to grow, for fear to fade, for hearts to align naturally," he add.

I sit silently, praying my love is strong enough to reach her heart.