CHAPTER 9

CHAPTER 9

[KHUKHOKONKE]

My feet are swollen and painful. It's like I was running a marathon last night. I've put them in a basin with water and salt, and the pain is finally subsiding a bit. As always, they say I sleepwalked. That's what Cothoza told me. But I don't think I did this time.
That model girl called me. She said she was stuck and needed help. She was even crying, and her cries broke me. I ended up telling her I'd come… and I did. I was pissed, though. What the hell was she doing in a tunnel with that man? Wearing all black from head to toe?

What is she doing in my life now? I saw her twice, twice, in two completely weird and different situations. I don't even remember what happened after I yelled at her. Everything just went blank. Next thing, I woke up here at Cothoza's place.
He didn't have any explanation either. All he said was, "You'll figure it out soon." Figure it out soon? Really? I'm losing my life here! Sleepwalking to tunnels now? What's next?
I'm sure it's not over yet. I can feel it. I'll see her again. I just know it. Is she a witch or something? Because none of this makes sense. She's crazy… that's all I can say. Nx!

After that scary dream and a visit from an owl, I called home to check up on them, because I know seeing an owl is not a good sign. But of course, both my parents are still angry at me for shouting and being disrespectful to them on my last visit. They're still angry that I wanted to kill Yibanathi's unborn baby, and still angry about the bees situationship.

I was relieved that they were okay. I told my uncle that if he sees anything weird, he should quickly call me. He's the only one I trust with this situation, because I know those two, since they're still angry, won't bother.

I had a short conversation with Yibanathi. She said she's okay, but I know she's not. This second pregnancy is taking a toll on her, and I still stand by what I said: she should get rid of that baby.
Of course, my parents found out that I called Yibanathi. They called and asked me why I want to "sacrifice" their daughter, or if this is my way of becoming a powerful healer by using my sister's blood. I didn't argue with them, there's no use. But their words still sting a little. I don't know why they're giving me such a hard time like this. Honestly, I'd really appreciate their support.

And they're the ones who know how much I'm struggling with all this. It's hard, and my life no longer feels like my own. My life is dictated by Ndleleni and the whole ancestral realm. I feel like I've lost control over everything, and it freaks me out. It makes me so scared, so scared that even when I stare at myself in the mirror, I don't recognize the person staring back.
I want to cry, honestly. This is hard. And this is just the beginning, a scary beginning, if I tell you the truth.

It reminds me of something from my childhood. One night, I went outside to pee, and I saw a man standing by the gate. He was wearing a white garment, white beads that sparkled like stars on his wrists and neck, and a blue plain cloth hanging on his left shoulder. I was only eight when I saw that man, and I was mesmerized. I thought maybe he was an angel, but he wasn't.
When I ran back into the house to tell my parents, I suddenly started speaking in tongues. At only eight years old. My parents were confused and thought I was just being annoying. But looking at it now, I realize this started a long time ago. These strange encounters, these visits.
I wonder who that man was. Maybe it was Ndleleni. Maybe that was his first visit.

"Are your feet okay?" a voice says. I raise my eyes. It's one of the twins. I don't even know her or their names, I just call them twins. I don't usually mingle with Cothozas students. Most stay here, some come and leave just like me. These twins stay here, and I don't know for how long. I'm just minding my own business. One of the students once said I'm self-centered and hate people. Probably I am.

She sits next to me, not too close. I need water. I just need to throw myself in a pool of it. Maybe this ache, this sadness, or all these emotions I'm feeling will go away.
"Are you?" she asks again. Oh. I look at my feet. This water and salt combo is working. I can wiggle my toes now.
"Yes, I'm okay. Thank you for asking," I say politely. As much as I wanted to be alone, I can't be rude to this lady.
"That's nice. When is your ceremony?" she asks curiously. I frown and turn to her. Who mentioned my ceremony to her? Did she dream of it? Or overhear Cothoza talking? But still, I don't care if she dreamt about it or not. Ndleleni and I have our own way of connecting and communicating. He would never go to her and tell her my things. But can he? How protected am I in the spiritual world? Damn, these are the things I should ask my guides and ancestors about. I'm pretty sure this girl is a monitoring spirit.
"No," that's the only answer I give her. She doesn't get mad. She smiles and nods, and my ears start again. That ringing sound. My left ear gets blocked. Oh wow, perfect.
"Are you okay?" she asks, sounding concerned.
I look at her, really look at her this time. Her and her twin, they've always felt off to me. And now, as my vision flickers, I see them clearly. I see the shadows they walk with. They think they're pure, that they're guided only by good spirits but I know better. There's balance in everything. Where there is light, there's darkness too. Those dark ancestors, the ones who crave destruction, they live in the same bloodline.
And these girls, they think they can use me. That if we sleep together, some kind of spiritual bond will be created, that the child born from that act will carry combined power. They believe that child would be gifted, strong, and chosen. But they don't understand how it really works. Gifts aren't passed down like that. Some children inherit them, others don't. It depends on destiny, not desire.

Their theory is flawed. I won't give them a child or whatever twisted spirit is pushing them toward me. Because that baby, if it ever existed, wouldn't be born for light. It would be born for destruction.
And of course, I'm not immune from this balance of good energy and bad energy. I know there are bad apples on my side too. And of course, I will meet my person at the place where money flows. I blink as my left ear unblocks, making me grunt; it pops painfully. I smile at the twin.

"I think it's time I go to my place. It was nice seeing you though," I say as I rise, taking my feet out of the basin and wiping them dry. I check my white garment, perfectly clean, which is weird because I remember how dusty that model looked. I shake my head, a small smile tugging at my lips. I'm honestly curious about her.

.
.
.

I don't have my phone or my wallet with me. Papi, Cothoza's nephew, will take me home, which is perfect because I don't think the world is ready or I'm ready for them to see me in this garment. I just want to go home and sink into the bathtub. I was going to swim in the pool, but I'm not in the mood to deal with different energies.

I find MaMngadi alone, busy with beads as always. I sit on the grass mat, but she tells me to sit on the couch since I'm leaving soon. She's so sweet.
"So, your feet have healed. That was quick," she says with a smile. I nod happily. I'm going to work tomorrow; I can't go to work looking like I walked on fire.
"So, the weird girl," she says and giggles. I sigh softly.
"I don't know who she is. She made me run to her in the middle of the night," I say. "I wonder what she wants," I add curiously.
"You'll find out soon. I'm sure she's going to be an important piece in your story," she says. Maybe she's right, as long as that girl doesn't start accusing me of things I don't know about.
"Did you get a vision or dream about your beads?" she asks, her voice a little more serious now. I frown, thinking hard, and then it clicks.
"Actually, I did. I was in the ocean. I saw a shell, and when I put my hand in the water to pick it up, I saw white beads, only white beads," I reply. That dream was cut short because of that girl's call.
"Okay, good. You'll need to go and get those beads, and you'll get instructions from your guides on what to do next," she says. I blink, confused. Didn't Cothoza say she'd do them for me? I don't bother asking. Tomorrow, when I knock off work, I'll have to start hunting for those beads.

__

I sink into the cold water in the bathtub, letting the tense muscles relax a bit. I sigh with relief and calm. I needed this. I still haven't met the person who's supposed to sell me the house or plot; Ndleleni's instructions, of course. I hope that place will have a pool. I will need it. My Sundays are about to change forever. If this were a normal Sunday I would have hit the road and gone somewhere, but it is what it is.
I never went this long without talking to Mehluko. Maybe it was a mistake, but he should respect the bros' code and never do what he did. I'll talk to him tomorrow. For now, a little rest and quiet is all I need in this chaotic life.

As I close my eyes, ready to drift off, my phone rings and I blink them open fast. I startle. Who is it? Is that girl again? I rise from the bathtub and water drops everywhere as I fetch the phone in the kitchen. If it's that girl, I will say no.

To my surprise, it's my mother. I quickly pick up and answer, heart racing a bit.
"Ma," I greet.
She clicks her tongue. "You are evil," she says.
I am what now?
"What are you talking about?" I ask, confused.
She huffs angrily, clicking her tongue.
"Ma, if you don't talk how will I know?" I ask.
"Yibanathi lost the baby," she says in a hiss, clearly furious. I blink repeatedly.
"A what?" I ask.
"Don't act the fool here, Kukhokonke. You know what I'm talking about," she sneers.
"How did it happen?" I ask. Did she go to the clinic or…
"Don't ask me nonsense. What you wanted happened. Yibanathi lost the baby," she says. "I hope you are happy now," she adds, then hangs up.

I chuckle lightly as I put the phone down. Well, they can call me evil. I'm relieved the baby is gone. Now those Zungu people and Bonakele will have to do right by Yibanathi and the lost soul. I hope that baby's blood haunts them.

•••••

[NIKEZINKOSI]

Mnotho has sent thousands of text messages to check if I'm still going out on a date with him or not. He's so impatient. I gave him my word that we would go, it's just a little dinner, nothing more. My mother didn't go to church today, which is very rare, but I won't even ask because it'll turn into a long conversation.

"You look very gorgeous today," Futhi says. What the hell is that supposed to mean? Did I do too much? I'm always gorgeous every day.
"Yeah, are you going out? You look gorgeous, even put on makeup," my mom jumps in, looking at me curiously. Did I put on too much makeup? I pick up my phone to open the camera and check myself. No, my makeup is soft and fine.
"You two are exaggerating," I say dismissively.
Futhi giggles softly.
"You've been staring at your phone too. You're going somewhere, because you didn't wear that beautiful dress just to charm those men at Mom's church," Futhi teases. Mom won't like that.
"What are you saying, Futhi? Don't you have books to read? Go to your room," Mom says, shouting at the top of her lungs. Futhi rolls her eyes and walks away without arguing. She's definitely not going to study, she'll be glued to her phone.
"I'm going out with Diamond and Sno, nothing much," I say with a shrug, lying through my teeth. I can't tell her I'm going out with a man twice my age, a man who makes me feel things I can't explain. And that's what terrifies me the most. Because if I ever let him in, allow him into my heart, my mom would never approve. I know that for sure. She's still stuck on my ex, a boy she adored without knowing who he truly was.
She stands up, yawning and stretching her arms.
"I'm tired, baby. And I'm sorry you came to visit us but I'm exhausted. You should visit more often. This thing of yours, only coming to drop off the chillies, is not okay. Your dad isn't happy about it," she rambles.
How does she even know Dad isn't happy?
"Ma, go and sleep. I'll tell Futhi to lock up. I'll be leaving soon anyway," I tell her. The dinner will be early. We have a 6 p.m. reservation, that's what Mnotho said. He said it's perfect since I need to sleep early for work tomorrow. He's not bad, really. He's considerate too, just a little pushy.

As Mom goes to her room, I sit alone, staring at my phone again, checking the time, nervous as hell. I should've taken some ashwagandha to calm these nerves. As I keep staring at my phone, that voice still warns me of the possible dangers this connection could bring. And I don't know if I'm mentally ready to deal with all of it.

__

"Something private," what the hell does this man want to do to me where people can't see? Well, he chose a beautiful restaurant, gorgeous and modern. I really hope the food tastes amazing because most restaurants here push aesthetics more than just focusing on the damn food.

"The server will be with you now," the hostess says as she drops the menus and walks away. My eyes roam around, indeed private as he wanted. I turn and look at him, his expression soft, and that look again, a look of admiration, like he has never seen someone like me before.
I sigh softly.
"Mnotho, just act normal," I tell him. He's officially Mnotho, and I'm shocked by how fast I changed from being professional to…
"How can I act normal when you look this beautiful," he says softly. Mmh, compliments. "I didn't think you'd make it," he adds, voice a little low. I wasn't, but I can't keep on ignoring him.
"I'm here, Mnotho. I'm a woman of her word," I say. He smiles and nods.
"Well, thank you. You made my evening, and I hope when we walk out this restaurant door, we will walk out holding hands like a couple," he says with a smirk. I chuckle softly.
"You are pushy and too fast for my liking," I say, and this is why I say it is terrifying me. He sighs and leans forward, holding my gaze.
"As you can see, I'm not a boy, Nikky. I'm a man, and I'm not here to waste your precious time. I know what I want, and I want you," he confesses. Thixo. "And I'm not saying this in a lustful way, because I know you might think that. No, I want you. I want to know you more…" He gets cut off by the waiter dropping the bottle of wine.
"Can you give us ten minutes," Mnotho tells the waiter politely, and the waiter walks away. He turns to me now.
"As I was saying…"
"Why me?" I ask, my mouth moving on its own. Dammit, Nikky, couldn't you just keep shut?
"Why not you? Is there something wrong with you?" he asks, curious and half teasing.
Yes, there is something wrong with me.
"Mnotho, you are moving too fast," I say.
"I'm not. This is the right time, the right moment, Peaches. I want you to be in my life; to love you, care for you, and protect you in ways you didn't even know you needed," he says, voice deep and steady. His eyes never leave mine, and for a moment, I forget to breathe.
He continues softly, "I've spent years building, chasing, proving myself, but lately, all of that feels empty. I realised I want something real. Peace. Warmth. And somehow, when I'm with you, I feel that. You calm me in a way I can't explain."
I swallow hard, unsure of what to say. Nikky, don't allow his words to soften you up.
He lets out a breath, half a laugh. "I'm not saying I'm perfect, Peaches. Far from it. But I promise you one thing. I'll never make you guess where you stand with me. I'll tell you. I'll show you. Every time. My actions will speak louder than words."
My heart does this stupid thing, it stirs. I look away, pretending to focus on the painting.

He reaches out, not to touch me, but just to rest his hand halfway across the table, like a silent offer. "You don't have to say anything. Just don't run. Give this…give us a chance."
I bite my lip softly.
"Is this about the age thing?" he asks, his voice a little low, like he's sad.
I shake my head.
"Well, you may not look your age, but it's not only about age. It's about your reputation, mine, our families, society. I know we shouldn't care about them, but…" I say and cut myself off. Oh, how I wish this glass had wine. "I don't want to feel trapped, Mnotho. I don't want you, in future, to control me or dictate me because you have more experience and more financial stability," I add.

Men his age tend to go for younger girls just to control them, and yes, he's been sweet, kind, and gentle, but a man is like a chameleon, they change.

"Firstly, I don't care about what other people say. I don't care about my family; they have their lives to focus on. And about your family, I understand. Your father will probably not like this at all," he answers. "I won't do that. I won't control you. I'm not like that. You are someone I care for and love, not a prisoner, not a slave," he adds.
Too early for the love word.
"I don't have a dad. He passed away two years ago," I say. "But of course, I do have uncles, and I'm sure some are your agemates," I add and chuckle a little. He laughs too, nervously.
"I'm sorry about your dad, but he shouldn't worry. Wherever he is, his daughter is in safe hands. No one will hurt you, that includes my family too," he says gently.
But I need to ask more questions.
"About Bonga's mother, where is she?" I ask. Whether I like it or not, a child is involved, and it doesn't matter if Bonga is twenty-three, they will come together for Bonga.
He smiles.
"Don't worry about her. She's happily married," he says. Oh. I guess that's better. "There's nothing to worry about, Peaches," he says, his hands reaching mine now. I freeze a bit. Oh, I don't like this feeling; the feeling of being defeated this easily.
"And I will prove to you every single day that I'm worthy of your love," he adds. "And I will choose you every day till my last breath," he continues smoothly.

Oh, Nikky.

.
.
.

The stairs' lights are dim, and I don't know why they haven't fixed them. Mnotho is walking close, really close to me. This closeness makes me anxious, really, and all of a sudden, he pins me against the wall.
I gasp, shocked. All he does is smirk.
What the hell is wrong with this old man? My God, my heart is pounding hard.
"Are you drunk?" I ask. That's probably the reason.
He lets go of my arms and sighs. "Not drunk, just tipsy. I started drinking at home to calm my nerves down, because I was nervous if you'd show up or not," he says innocently.
I'm not even dating this man, but he already stresses me out.
"I need to call Bonga to fetch you. You can't drive while you're acting like this," I say.
He giggles, his giggle is actually cute, making me laugh a little too.
"Don't worry, I'll leave the car here and call a cab, sthandwa sami," he says.
Oh Lord, we moved from Peaches to sthandwa sami now.
"You're love-bombing me, Mnotho," I say.
He gets closer, confused.
"What's that?" he asks, frowning slightly.
"You'll have to research it," I say, trying to avoid his gaze.
His finger touches my chin, gently making my face turn toward him. He's frowning now.
"Why don't you want to look at me? Am I ugly?" he asks.
This thing of avoiding eye contact with him clearly stresses him out. Oh, the opposite, sweetheart, but I don't tell him that.
"Call the cab and go home. I'll see you in the morning," I say softly.
"Okay, okay, fine, I'll go. But you can't go alone on these dark stairs. Who's the owner of this building?" he asks curiously.
"I don't know, and it'll take months for them to fix them," I answer honestly. That's how it goes here.
"If your friend wasn't here, I was gonna come in and cuddle with you," he smirks.
I chuckle softly. I need to leave before things get worse.
"Mnotho, goodnight," I say.
He groans. "Kiss me, a goodnight kiss," he asks softly.
This man doesn't waste time. I stare at him, contemplating whether to go for it or not. The sound of a light bulb flickers again.
"Well, I'll kiss you when you fix these lights," I say. That's my deal.
He looks at me for a second, then bursts out laughing.
"I'm serious," I add.
"Oh wow, ma'am, you are something else," he says, shaking his head with a grin. "Okay, I guess I'll have to fix someone's mess just to get a kiss," he says, half-whining, half-amused.

__

Monday is hell. Diamond slept at her aunt's place again. Looks like Bob's mom's situation got worse. I'll need to call him when I get to work.
I didn't cook anything last night because my stomach was still full from that dinner with Mnotho. Despite the hiccups and emotional roller coaster, the evening went surprisingly well. I kind of… enjoyed myself a lot. But I can't make this easy for him. He has to earn it.

My coffee is ready. I just need to… My phone rings, cutting my thoughts short. Who's calling this early?
I check. Mnotho. He's already here?
I answer.
"Peaches, come to the stairs," he says, no greeting, straight to the point.
"We're leaving already? I want to have my coffee," I tell him, glancing at the clock. It's not even 6 a.m. Why is he so damn early?
"I'll get you breakfast, just come so we can leave," he says and hangs up.
Didn't he say he wouldn't control me? What the hell is this?

My steps are slow and steady as I move down the stairs. I can't rush or I'll hurt myself again. Our flat is on the fourth floor, and by the time I reach the second floor, I see him standing there, looking annoyingly handsome and fresh.

I hold my breath and sigh. Easy, Nikky.
"You don't notice," he says with that half-smile that always disarms me.
"Notice what?" I ask, brows furrowed.
He gives me a mischievous grin and points up.
I follow his finger and freeze.
The lights. The ones he promised to fix.
"I fixed them," he says softly, walking toward me. "So, I guess I'm getting my kiss."
My lips part. He really did it. I did say this man is too fast.
I close my eyes, my heart pounding. What have I done now?
"Open your eyes, Sthandwa sami," he whispers, his voice low and smooth, sending shivers down my spine.
I open them, and he's right there, close enough for me to feel his warmth. My pulse races. His hand lifts, brushing my cheek, tracing my jawline lightly, playful yet claiming.

"I told you," he murmurs, leaning closer, "I always finish what I start."
Before I can respond, his lips meet mine in a slow, teasing kiss, confident, yet intimate. It's the kind of kiss that flirts with every nerve in my body, gentle enough to make me melt, firm enough to make me tremble. He pulls back just slightly, letting his eyes meet mine, a teasing smirk dancing on his lips.
My heart races, my head dizzy, and I can't stop the small laugh that escapes me.
"Coffee can wait," he says, his forehead resting lightly against mine, his voice low and teasing.

For once, I don't argue.