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17
17THAT WEEKEND
SANDILE’S APARTMENT
If someone told Sandile that they’d be a time when he’d spend a whole week, let alone an evening or a day without talking to Thando he would have plain outright denied it. Staying away was a choice he found himself committing to because his worst fear had come true. All the doubts he had about Thando and the guy he hated had surfaced right in front of him, he had seen them holding hands and dancing frantically at a club, probably in an environment Thando never thought he’d be busted in. an explanation at this moment would be more of a thorn and a pierce to the heart, seeing Thando frozen and not saying anything during the whole fallout was more than enough.
Amidst everything, at least Sandile had company. His big sister, Sibu had come over for another therapy session, and to look over things at his place and also help him prepare for his graduation which was in 3 days from now. The weekend was off to a rough start because Sandile refused to communicate and was mostly not in sight although he was the one who called Sibu over to his place. Sitting in the kitchen enjoying a warm breakfast meal Sibu prepared, a very unwanted conversation was sparked.
Sibu: I feel you shouldn’t have called me over here if you were going to be like this.
Sandile: then you are more than welcome to leave, I am not holding you hostage.
Sibu: there’s no need for you to be mean, and also, tell me how can I leave you in this situation?
Sandile: it’s not like I’m suicidal or anything… leave, please. It would be my pleasure.
Sibu: like anyone who’s suicidal would say anything. Okay, I get it you don’t want me here anymore but at least tell me why you called me here. Either way, Mom instructed me to help you shop for a gown for graduation.
Sandile: just… just don’t do anything dude. I don’t want to talk about anything anymore. I’m sorry I called you here… just--- leave if you want to!
Sibu: is this about him?
Sandile: him, who?
Sibu: the guy you’ve been mercilessly sharing on your stories.
Sandile: no, I refuse to talk about that with you.
Sibu: so, what?
Sandile: nothing.
Sibu: well, okay, you’ve made it clear that you don’t want me here and my opinion. So, let’s just get ready and hit the mall, get your suit and I will be out of your hair.
Sandile: whatever.
Sandile has always been hard-headed, but it has never been this hard to break through to him. This was the hardest it has been seeing how Sibu miserably failed to get him to talk, it was like trying to get an infant to say their first word for the second time after they said it the first time. It was not like she did not have enough going on in her life, she did but her protective mannerism and love for her younger brother surpassed that she had for herself, hence she was on beck and call to him and always selfless when it came to him. Their parents being trash was already harsh enough for her, so her mannerism towards Sandile was to make it less evident that they have absent parents, emotionally.
THE DORM
Across town, a few blocks away from Sandile’s place, another being was in terror himself. After leaving the club that day Thando tried and miserably failed in finding Sandile. He tried getting him on his phone, but it was off, after giving it a few days again, it was still off, or he was just not answering his calls and texts on purpose. Firstly, he understood why Sandile acted the way he did, he too would’ve freaked out if he found him with someone else at a club at that. Even after staying and pondering the whole week what to say, the right words would not formulate in his head. On the other hand, the perpetrator has been blowing his phone off. Seeing his persistence, he was not going to stop calling anytime soon, so he picked up the call--- to make things clear on his end.
[on call]
Banzi: glad you finally picked up.
Thando: I figured it is better to end things this way…
Banzi: I am not understanding, what did I do? End what?
Thando: here’s the deal… the last time we spoke about where we stand with each other I thought I made it clear that I am not in a space to love anybody wholeheartedly, and I thought you understood.
Banzi: yes, and?
Thando: the stunt you pulled at the club? What the hell was that about? Do you even have the slightest idea of the damage you’ve caused? What was all that act about?
Banzi: I am sorry if I caught you off guard and crossed the line, again. It was just an in-the-moment thing… I did not plan for it to happen and-----
Thando: and nothing! Listen, I am going to say this once and for all, I don’t want to be friends with you, I don’t want to go to clubs with you, stop being nice to me.
Banzi; what is this all about?
Thando: just stay away from me man, and I will do the same. Please, I’m begging you.
Banzi: Thando! Thando!
[call ends]
The invisible NDA with Sandile was the reason on the way of Thando telling Banzi that he is not with him or does not want to be with him because he already has someone. There were just so many unresolved underlying issues in this relationship that Thando even started to ask himself if this was worth everything. What was his goal in all this? Was being in an unlabelled relationship with a man in the closet worth it? Why was Sandile the only factor in his life that he could not see a future without also why was he currently the reason for all the things going wrong?
Was this more of a curse than a relationship?
THE GRADUATION DAY
The day had finally come to an end after sitting in the hall for hours listening to professors bragging about their achievements and giving some lame advice on how to navigate life like everyone’s life had the same formula. Another hassle of taking pictures and smiling while being congratulated and somehow dissed was also over. Both the parents attended the ceremony and keeping things non-awkward was so hard. After cutting the call on his mother Sandile never got a chance to redeem himself or try to even be sorry for what he did. Being in the same space as his suffocating parents were terrific and he missed Thando, luckily Sibu was in the mix to keep check on the mood and try to break the ice by starting conversations every time everyone got too quiet.
The day was over and Sandile drove with Sibu to his apartment while their parents drove together back to their house. Sibu was going to sleep over at Sandile’s since the following day they were going to have a family dinner to celebrate this mediocre success. She was to drive Sandile home and survey him, as per their parent’s orders. While in the car, Sandile received a very unexpected message of congratulations and well wishes from Thando. It had been a minute since they texted or even called, he missed himself so much but could not bring himself to talk to him or get him to explain the situation. The message nevertheless was nice and welcomed that he smiled a little after frowning for most past days.
Sibu: that’s the smile that’s been missing… glad to finally see your face shine.
Sandile: it is nothing much.
Sibu: I bet it is. So, wanna talk about what we couldn’t talk about last time?
Sandile: you always do this.
Sibu: every chance I get, yes! What was bothering you?
Sandile: something related to what we spoke about the last time I visited home.
Sibu: so, it is about a boy… my guess was right! Who is he and why did he break your heart?
Sandile: so…
As Sandile went away telling his sister everything about Thando, Sibu couldn’t help but notice the attitude change, his body language screamed love and affection a lot. His face oozed authenticity and read that he loved the guy so much. He had mention syndrome, Thando’s name was forever in his mouth. He could not finish a sentence without mentioning him. His eyes glowed differently; the pitch of his voice spoke volumes of just how much he felt attached to the person. This was a good thing to see but also a very confusing story to follow when he started talking about their last counter.
Sibu: I would really love to meet Thando. He seems like a nice person, and I can tell you care dearly about him.
Sandile: I do, and a lot. It is just so hard loving him and staying confident. There are so many things I want to address but afraid that he takes them the wrong way and then he leaves me.
Sibu: seeing how you guys haven’t been talking because of some misunderstanding, I believe you’ve gotten a taste of how it is to be away from him. Do you like it?
Sandile: no, I don’t.
Sibu: then what do you think is the answer and the right way to fix that?
Sandile: communication…?
Sibu: always! That’s the only way to solve misunderstandings, you talk them through. Assuming things and jumping to conclusions without hearing the reasons from the other party had never been the right move and will never be.
Sandile: I hear you…
Sibu: so, I have an idea. Text that boy back and invite him to dinner tomorrow.
Sandile: are you crazy? No!
Sibu: why are you freaking out? It’s not like I’m saying propose, right?
Sandile: no, I just think that’s too big of a step to take after not talking for a whole week.
Sibu: then what do you think s better? Write him back and say what? You’re literally going to be away for like the whole week and won’t see him. Things will just get awkward. Trust me, it is only right to strike the iron while it’s still hot!
Sandile: I hear you, but what do I say?
Sibu: how am I supposed to know? he’s your boyfriend, not mine, figure it out. You know each other’s love language, don’t you?
Sandile: I never thought I’d be sitting in a car and doing this with you. Ever!
Sibu: neither did I? but your life would be too messy without me, so… here am I… text the boy, invite him to the dinner, and then take things from there. You guys will get some time to talk and hear each other’s stories about whatever mess you guys created.
Sandile: I guess that makes sense.
Sibu: I always make sense.
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