10

10

 

THAT LATE EVENING

Banzi walked Thando all the way to his doorstep after he declined him a couple of times. The man really was aiming to please and his way of appeal worried Thando because he felt like whatever decision he was going to make it was not me that would make Banzi happy. It felt good to be loved and wanted but the burden that came with it was just as heavy. In the process of saying their goodbyes like they were not going to chat a few minutes later on their phones, an unexpected guest invited himself into their presence, carrying a very uncomfortable wave of energy with him. He scanned the place, greeted, and waited to be introduced. Things got awkward.

 After seeing he had no other choice, Thando introduced Sandile to Banzi as his roommate which kind of bruised Sandile’s ego but there was nothing he could do about it, after all, he was just a roommate. After a few minutes of exchanging formalities and pretending to be happy to have met, Banzi left the building and Thando and Sandile made their way inside their dorm room. Like things couldn’t get any worse or more awkward, inside the room it was cricket silent. No one said anything as if they had nothing to say to each other. There was a lot to unpack but no one of the two wanted to say what was in their hearts making the room uncomfortable and suffocating to be in.

As he usually does, Sandile dismissed himself running away yet again, he did not want to face the reality of the situation, he felt exposed and embarrassed by his action earlier. He did not have the guts to apologize or even start small talk. In that late, late evening, he chose to run away to Cleo’s place, his safe haven.

 

AT CLEO’S PLACE

After delaying having female guests multiple times, Cleo had company today. His love life too was a mess but at least he was a well-known player, he loved and changed women every week or two and he was never embarrassed or remorseful of his actions because he loved wholeheartedly just that he was very unlucky in finding someone who would stay. The women he’d have come by too knew but couldn’t help falling for him because he was really a sight, a catch. So, Sandile’s unannounced second visit annoyed him because he was getting some TLC from his lady friend.

 

Cleo: this has to be the longest day ever, how are you here again?

Sandile: I know I interrupted you and I am very sorry.

Cleo: you don’t look like you are still sitting there. I have company today, and I can’t listen to your problems anymore. I have babied you enough, there’s literally nothing left for me to say. Just make the decision already. This is getting very tiring…

Sandile: I just came over to ask about the apartment issue, again, I’m sorry.

Cleo: oh that, I thought I texted you. We found something, the place is called The Orchid, not too far from here--- 30 minutes by car. I already checked it out over the weekend, and it is move-in ready. You just have to go sign the lease with the landlord. I made an appointment for late Friday.

Sandile: you’re the best, thank you, man…

Cleo: yeah, yeah now leave!

Sandile: you son of a woman! Hold it in already…

Cleo: go and mind your business!!

Sandile: well then, I’ll take my leave… goodbye lady friend!!

Cleo: f**k you, son! I’ll send the details later or tomorrow.

Sandile: make it tomorrow, please--- for your own sake.

 

Leaving the building Sandile felt lighter knowing at least one thing was working out. Moving out was going to be beneficial for him. He did not see it as a measure to control his robust feelings anymore but as a place where he could feel comfortable enough to pursue his interest in Thando. The place was far from campus, so he was not going to be in the eyes of people. The fact that he was graduating in about a month’s time was another reason, he needed to move out of the school dorm, and getting an apartment was a way of keeping himself away from moving back home where he wouldn’t be free with the decision he was about to make.

 

2 DAYS LATER

VALENTINE’S DAY

It had been a couple of weird days. After the uncomfortable passive-aggressive incident with Banzi the other day, the roommates had adjusted to a very minimal contact, platonic- like based relationship with very few conversations and mostly avoiding each other. Just like this morning and afternoon, no one seemed deep in other’s business and what their plans for the day were. It was obvious they were not going to spend it together, they both had targets to subject their confusions and procrastination on, and they both were going to use other people to disguise and try to ignore the very obvious sparks that were flying and shining brightly between them.

Childish? Yes, they both knew--- but were doing it, nonetheless.

 

CLUB LA MACARENA

The loud music and screams of the crowd did not bother him at all. He wanted things to be like this, so they were. Sandile had made no major plans for today, he was not trying to appeal or impress Mina. After a whole 2 years of acting like a love-sick puppy and diverging from who he really is, tonight he did not care. This was the less romantic Mina has ever seen him, but for some reason, she was not bothered. She loved the change and was a person who loved busy and buzzy places. She did not mind that she was taken to a club on Valentine’s Day, and mostly she did not even notice how uninterested Sandile was in the whole action taking place.

 

Mina: I did not know this was your kind of scenery for such a day, but I love it--- way better than the gift.

Sandile: I thought you wanted those earrings more than anything in the world…

Mina: I did, and I love them. I’m just saying that I love this side of you. This place is insane!! I always knew you were a party person, but I did not know this was the kind of scenery you hung out in. I think I might just be a regular too.

Sandile: whatever…I’m gonna go sit at the bar…

Mina: and I’m gonna go dance…

 

Sandile sat up taking no care of what Mina said, he had run out of interest, and keeping an enthusiastic face was getting harder and harder. He wanted to get out there as soon as possible but the thought of Thando being somewhere with someone other than him made his skin crawl and annoyed the hell out of him. He wanted this night to pass already, he wanted to ditch the girl right there and then but with how eager she was about everything, it was harder. His actions the whole evening have been screaming ‘I don’t want to be here’ but the girl had not noticed. He wondered if the loud music and crazy lights had dulled her quick-witted senses.

 

30 MINUTES LATER

After a whole lot of dancing Mina went back to their table and drank from her glass as she enjoyed the music and the show. When the host of the special Valentine’s Day show that the club was holding called up for a person with something to say to their significant other, Mina stood up quickly and went up the stage. With enthusiastic cheering and motivation from the crowd, she stood tall and went off, telling her story from where and how it started to where it is now. It was glamorous, a fairy tale, and a dream to many that the crowd could not help but yell in unison, demanding to see the prince charming that kept her so happy and glowing for the whole 2 years.

Feeling the pressure and being in the spot, Sandile stood up and left the room confusing everyone and leaving Mina behind confused more than everyone and having people feel sorry for her for the spectacle she caused.

 

OUTSIDE THE CLUB

Sandile stood frustrated, inflicting self-harm by punching the wall in the alley next to the club. He felt suffocated and hot, it was like he was going to explode, his anger was uncontrollable, and he stood there repeatedly punching an innocent wall until someone pulled him away. His left fist was bloody, but he did not seem to be in any pain. He was losing blood uncontrollably considering he was drunk, but he was unfazed by everything. He sunk to the floor and looked up at the person who dragged him away from the wall.

It was Ms. Kai, the club owner.

Ms. Kai: I am not going to ask what is wrong with you or if you’re okay because you’re clearly not. Please just collect yourself and get out of here.

Sandile: who are you to order me around? What do you know about me or my life or how I’ve lived until now? Please do us both a favor and leave me alone!

Ms. Kai: I will take your being rude right now without being offended because you’re drunk but watch it next time. I may be nice and friendly, but I don’t take crap from anyone!! Silly college kid!!

 

She said those words and left Sandile like a stray dog in the streets. She had compassion but after that punch of disrespect, she was a bit disappointed and decided to let him freeze in the cold outside until he came back to his senses. Minutes later Mina appeared and shook the almost-dead man back to life, he had fallen asleep.

Mina: care to explain what just happened inside? Sandile what is wrong with you !!!!

Sandile: you are what is wrong with me!!! This is not working anymore Mina; I am tired of this--- pretense and acting as if I care when I don’t give a flying f**k. Goddamnit this is frustrating and suffocating!! I am the problem here and not you, so please… let’s just stop here, today--- let’s break up!!!

Mina: what the f**k Sandile. Just like that!!! Who the hell do you think you are?! Who gives you the right to do so? You think you are all that, don’t you?!!! You coward!!

Sandile: go ahead and kill me if you want to--- I have no reason to live!! Go ahead do it!

 

Mad girl Mina had no energy left in her to fight. After being ditched and dumped by a drunk man on Valentine’s Day she stood up to walk away. She wanted to deny everything but could not, remembering that drunk truth is the best truth you’ll ever get out of a human being. She could not believe she was just dumped on a night that was supposed to turn out beautiful, she was dumped in front of a crowd, and she was made to feel worthless by a person she gave her whole. Was she living in a fantasy and a lie for the past 2 years? Was anything ever true with Sandile? What pushed him to the end? What made him tick and explode? What was the last straw for him--- she wondered.

 

 But all these questions were just questions she was never going to get answers for.

 

 

 

 

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