5
FIVE
**PULANE**
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I was washing my school uniform and a few other things I'd be needing for the camp when John pulled over. Ever since he knew I was close to finishing school he became a regular at home. He was driving a brand new car and sometimes I wished he could buy a new heart with his money coz he had an evil one. He hugged me from behind, holding me tight.
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Me: "Let go of me, John"
John: "What's the matter with you? Can't I hold my future wife?"
Me: "Future wife my foot. I'm not marrying an old man like you"
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He laughed for a while before aggressively grabbing my arm. He twisted it and it was so painful I couldn't hold back my tears.
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John: "I don't think I heard you the last time please repeat your statement"
Me: "John let me go you're hurting me"
John: "Repeat your statement"
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He twisted harder and his eyes were full of anger that I feared for my already useless life
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Me: "Nothing"
John: "You seem to forget me, little Pulane"
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He let go of my arm and pointed at me with his Mercedes-Benz key. Because of my light skinned complexion, my arm turned red from his aggressive grip.
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John: "I can either make or break you. Your choice sweetheart"
Me: "I'm sorry"
John: "I really hope you kept your end of the deal because if not, you're no use to my great life"
Me: "What are you talking about?"
John: "You're acting dumb for an A student, Pulane. I'm talking about your virginity"
Me: "I'm.. I'm still one"
John: "Keep it like that for daddy or else you're useless to me. Do you know what I do to useless things?"
Me: "No"
John: "I burn them"
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My heart pounded faster after hearing those words. I wasn't ready to die in the hands of John so I needed to please him.
He slid his hand under my T-shirt, rubbing my nipple. I just looked the other way while crying silently and let him do whatever he desired to my body. He wiped the tears off my face with his thumb before sitting down on a chair that was beside him.
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Me: "Koko is not here"
John: "I know and I'm not here for the old woman, I'm here for you"
Me: "I don't think I'll be good company since I'm busy"
John: "I'll just watch you"
Me: "Watch me?"
Jonn: "Would you prefer if I did something else?"
Me: "No, no. It's fine you can watch me"
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I sighed before continuing to wash. He sat there the whole time, watching me like a hawk. For a long time I've noticed his wedding ring but I couldn't ask him about it
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Me: "Are you married?"
John: "Something like that"
Me: "Do you have kids?"
John: "Don't worry you'll give me plenty of kids"
Me: "I was just asking"
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We both remained quiet but he was still staring at me
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John: "I heard your grandma talking about a school camp. Why didn't you tell me?"
Me: "I didn't think it was necessary"
John: "What do you need so I can buy for you?"
Me: "I have everything I need"
John: "If you say so"
Me: "I don't mean to be rude but once I'm done here I'll go to sleep"
John: "It's fine I'll go. I have other things to do anyway"
Me: "Okay"
John: "I will see you some other time. Take care of yourself for daddy"
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He ran his fingers across my neck and kissed it. I felt a bit relieved that he was gone but it was only for a while.
**A FEW DAYS LATER**
It was finally camp day and only the female students were going. The boys had their own camp somewhere else and I was excited to get away from home and get my mind off things. The busses came and we drove to the destination. We were shown to our rooms and they let us settle down, shower and have dinner since we arrived late. The lessons were only beginning the next day so we were allowed to interact with other students from different schools and have a tour around the lodge. Matshidiso and I walked around the place after dinner and she bumped into someone she knew. I was not in the mood for listening to their reunion conversations so I told her that she'd find me in our room. I walked back into the house and then Mr Mokoena called me
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Me: "Sir, hi"
BK: "Hi, I just wanted to make sure you're okay. You guys have about an hour before you need to come back indoors"
Me: "It's fine I'm already going back to my room"
BK: "Can I talk to you for a minute, please?"
Me: "We can talk outside"
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We walked outside and found a bench to sit on
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BK: "I know it's probably none of my business but I'm concerned about you"
Me: "In terms of what, sir?"
BK: "You were crying that day and I still don't know why"
Me: "I don't talk about it because I'm scared I'd be judged"
BK: "I'm in no position to judge, Pulane. I'm only concerned because you're my top student and I'd hate to see you flop"
Me: "I'm getting mar...I'm getting a bit of a headache I think I need to go to bed"
BK: "I'm always here if you need to talk and I'll never judge you"
Me: "Thank you, sir. It means a lot coming from you"
BK: "I'm not that old but at the same time I'm not that young so I've been through stuff. I could help you if you talk"
Me: "I hear you"
BK: "You're beautiful and smart and I believe you won't do anything that would jeopardize your future. Whatever your grandmother forces you to do, please don't do it if it'll mess up your life"
Me: "I just wanna go far, far away from here"
BK: "One thing I've learned in life is that running away from your problems won't fix them. They'll just pile up and you'll find them the day you come back"
Me: "What if I don't come back?"
BK: "Then they'll just follow you"
Me: "Do you have parents?"
BK: "I do have parents but my dad is just something else"
Me: "How?"
BK: "He's selfish and evil. He doesn't really care about the next person's feelings and he's full of himself"
Me: "At least you have your mom"
BK: "My mom and my sister. It's just that my mom chose to stay with my dad even after he has hurt her continuously"
Me: "Sometimes women go through a lot and it's not easy to just raise your voice"
BK: "I stand my ground and I live my truth. I'm not going to live my life to please others even though I'm getting hurt"
Me: "Bokang you have something to fall back on. You have options and I don't"
BK: "Pulane talk to me, please. Teacher and student aside, look me in the eyes and tell me what's bothering you"
Me: "Every time I think of him I just feel numb"
BK: "Who is he?"
Me: "The man who's making my life a living hell"
BK: "Tell me his name so I can deal with the bastard once and for all"
Me: "He's a rich and powerful bastard. I wouldn't want to jeopardize your life like that"
BK: "Pulane you can trust me. I have resources that could take him down but I can't if you don't tell me everything"
Me: "Please just hold me"
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He moved closer to me and I rested my head on his chest. He hugged me gently and I could smell his perfume and I sniffed and cried, making his clean while shirt wet with my endless tears.
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