Chapter 14

NQABA CELE

"You are leaving already?" Kgomotso and I, we've gotten close. We have become good friends in the 4 months that I have been here. He is the only inmate that knows the whole story. The others just know what I wanted them to know. "Yeah man, I'm leaving today. I was granted bail." He looks confused and I understand why. "You've been convicted, how can you get bail?"
"My lawyer applied for an appeal. There's new evidence. The information you gave me about the drug is also a key factor. My lawyer didn't tell me what the new evidence is but it is something worth looking into. The judge reviewed all the new evidence and I was granted bail for R200 000, which is also accompanied by strict conditions." I really don't know what this new evidence is and I am glad something is happening to clear my name. "Man that is a lot of money. But I still don't understand how you got bail." He says. "You can apply for bail pending an appeal. He had to prove that the appeal will be approved and agree to a lot of conditions for me. I have to pay the amount, which has already been paid, hence I am leaving. I won't be able to travel anywhere, I had to surrender my passport. I have to check-in at my local police station three times a week. I cannot be in contact with the victims. That means I cannot contact Milani, which I am very happy with. I don't need that woman in my life. You are going to love this one, I have a curfew, I have to be home by seven every night." He looks at me with a smile and just laughs a full blown laugh. "At your old age, you are back to have curfews but you know what, as long as you are going home. That is what matters the most."

"I'm grateful for everything you've done for me, Kgomotso. You really helped me with that drug explanation," I say, my voice thick with emotion. "When I get out there, I'll make sure I get my lawyer to work something out for you. You deserve a second chance as much as anyone." He nods slowly, a hint of sadness playing at the corners of his mouth. "You are going to win this fight, I know it. Just don't forget about us. Don't forget about me."
"I won't," I assure him, feeling the weight of his words. "Take care of yourself in here. I'll visit when I can I promise."
As I prepare to leave, the clanking sound of the prison doors echoes, reminding me of the life I want to reclaim. I step out, blinking against the brightness of the afternoon sun. Freedom feels surreal, like a tantalizing dream just out of reach. I see Mandla parked in the lot. He is standing next to his car, pressing on his phone. He looks up when I call out his name, greeting him.

Once I'm in the car, I take a breath and let it out again, my eyes closed and the first thing I want to do is to see my son. I notice Mandla is not driving to my parent's house. Where is he taking me? "Mandla where are we going? The first thing I want to do is hold my son." He steals a glance at me and focuses back on the road. "I know, but your father asked to take you to Bab' Ngcolosi for cleansing, we'll meet him them. He said you need to be cleansed first before stepping into the yard." Ok, I get it. I guess I can wait a little bit longer. I miss my son, I really do. Milani is going to pay for this. She won't know what hit her. I am going to make her suffer.
Relief floods me; when I think about how I don't have to sleep in a cell anymore. I know I am not free just yet, not until the judge dismisses all the charges against me. But this freedom that I have now is the beginning.

In the hustle of daily life, it's easy to forget how fragile freedom can be. My next steps must be precise, carefully calculated to turn this tide. I can't just walk away without digging deeper into the web Milani has spun. As we drive off from Bab' Ngcolosi's house, I feel lighter. I feel more at peace. I guess that's what a cleansing can do to a person. "Mandla, Milani received R3 Million right from Mnqobi's life policy, are we tracking the money?" I think that will be an easy way to find her. "We have. The money trail goes dead after multiple transfers to different accounts. It disappears. You don't have to worry though, Mbhele has someone working on that because money never just disappears. All I can tell you is that your wife has been planning this for a long a time. There is no way this was planned just after you asked for a divorce. It takes time to plan for things to disappear like this." Now I am starting wonder if she ever really loved or this was a plot from the beginning. Is it possible that we met because she wanted us to meet? F**k.

We drive in silence my mind reeling about how I could have been played by my wife all these years. All these years of loving her and enduring her abuse. Something is definitely wrong with Milani. How can a person be so cruel. As he drives up into my parent's drive way with my dad following behind us. We park and as soon as I step out of the car Lwandle comes running to me. I kneel to his height and hug him tight. In a few months he has grown so much. I can't help the tears that fall from my eyes, I also feel myself getting wet on my shoulder. He is silently crying just like me. I slowly pull him away, hold his face in the palm of my hands smiling. "I'm back boy, and I promise I'm not leaving you again. Never." He looks at me unable to speak and just holds me again. He doesn't want to let go. So I just get up and lift him. My mom comes and joins in the hug. While dad and Mandla walk into the house. "I'm so happy you are home child." She says sniffing. I'm just glad it's tears of joy. As we walk in the house, it feels like home, it smells like home. She has been cooking and she cooked my favorite. Tripe. Mhhh I can't wait. "Lwandle you have to let go of your father. He needs to go freshen so that we can have lunch. I made your favorite my child." A smile never leaving her face. Excitement written all over her. Lwandle allows me to put him down. He walks towards the kitchen as I walk to my bedroom to take a quick. The hot water helps loosen up my muscles.

The steam rises, wrapping around me as I reflect on the whirlwind of emotions. It feels good to be home, but shadows of the past. Shadows of what still lies ahead linger in my mind, reminding me of the betrayal I must face. I quickly finish my shower, dress in a clean t-shirt that my son laid out and a pair of sweat pants, and catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror and a glimpse of Lwandle who is sitting on my bed obviously refusing to leave my side. I look different—tired yet determined. The man staring back knows he has battles ahead. "Come let's go before your grandmother sends a search party."

As we step back into the living room, with Lwandle holding my hand I catch my mother spreading the lunch on the table while Lwandle is clinging onto my hand. I understand how he feels. He thinks I might leave again. The familiar scents of spices and comfort food fill the air and stir memories of happier times. I sit down at the table, feeling a little more at ease, Lwandle sits next to me. "Mom, this smells amazing!" I say, pouring myself a generous serving while my dad just looks at me laughs.

"We need to talk after lunch," he says, glancing at Mandla who has joined us, sitting at the edge of the table. I nod, the weight of urgency pressing down on me.
After lunch, we congregate in the living room, our plates abandoned, Lwandle outside playing. My dad leans forward, his brows furrowed. "Your safety is our priority," he states firmly. "Milani is unpredictable, and we don't know her next move. We must stay one step ahead."

Mandla chimes in, "No one knows about his release. It was not made public. As long as he stays here, he will be safe. We also don't want Milani to know that he is out, not yet any way." My dad nods. "Ok, so basically we just have to keep his release to ourselves." Mandla nods in confirmation
I swallow hard, feeling a mixture of fear and gratitude. I never wanted to involve my family in my battles, I don't like that my father has to worry about my safety from a woman a once loved, a woman who is a mother to my son. "Thank you, both of you," I reply, forcing a reassuring smile.
As the sun begins to set, staining the sky in hues of orange and purple, I join Lwandle outside, needing to clear my head. I watch him play, his laughter ringing through the air, reminding me of the childhood I want to give him amid this chaos. Glancing at him, I make a silent vow: I will do whatever it takes to protect him and make things right again.
The path ahead is fraught with challenges, but with each step I take, the determination to fight for my family grows stronger. I know the battle isn't just against Milani; it's against the demons of my past and my own fears. Today is just one part of a much larger journey, and I am ready to reclaim not just my life, but the love and safety of my son.

ADVOCATE MCEBISI NDLELA

"Why do I have my cases investigated? You were supposed to keep this from happening." I ask feeling annoyed. "I can't keep people from investigating what they are supposed to investigate. You were supposed to make sure everything is clean. You were not supposed to leave any trails behind. You got what you wanted out of this. You got to be the famous Advocate Ndlela who wins all his cases. No one knows what you do to win those cases." He seems nonchalant about all of this. How can he not panic. "Yes no one knows and they were never supposed to know but now things are changing. We are at risk of losing everything." He looks at me with no expression at all on his face. I don't know what this man is thinking and I want to know what he is thinking.

"Advocate Ndlela, this is your mess. It has nothing to do with me. I told you not to prosecute the Cele case, but you did not listen. See now, there is a lot of people involved. My name is clean from that case but if they dig deeper I am also in shit and I am not about to lose everything because you didn't know when to step back."
He leaves me standing there. "I am screwed." I think to myself. What am I going to do now. They have taken all the files that I have worked on the past five years. This is messed up.

My heart races as I ponder the repercussions of my reckless decisions. The walls feel like they are closing in around me, and the weight of fear settles in my stomach. "What if they dig deeper?" I fearfully question the void, feeling utterly helpless. Despite my best efforts to remain distant from the chaos, it seems that my past is an inescapable entanglement.

As tension mounts, I pull out my phone and dial a trusted contact, hoping for some guidance. "We need to meet," I say once they pick up; urgency spills into my voice. "Things have escalated, and I need to understand my options. If they've traced my steps…" I trail off, the dread hanging like a thick fog.
I hang up and lean against the kitchen counter, raking a hand through my hair. "I can't let this ruin my life, not again," I murmur, steeling myself for what's to come. My daughter's laughter wafts in from the lounge, a bittersweet reminder of what's truly at stake. The door creaks open slowly, and I see her running towards me, joy illuminating his face.

"Daddy! Look what I found!" she exclaims, holding up a crooked stick, her treasure of the day. How am I going to shield her and siblings from this storm? Everything I did, I did for them to have a better life. I can't let fear govern my actions; instead, it's time to strategize a way out of this quagmire.
"Stay close," I tell her, gathering her into my arms, your mom is almost home. How about I give you your bath and get ready for dinner?" "Yey!" She responds excited. She loves her bath time. Her brother is also coming home this weekend from university. As I prepare her for her bath, I think of ways to get out of this situation and I need to tell my wife. She knows everything and we are in this together, a chain of trust entwined with love and responsibility.
I hear my wife's car just as I switch off the stove. Dinner is done and ready. She walks in and little miss runs into her arms greeting her. I watch them exchange greetings and my daughter talking nonstop. My Lisa gets a glimpse of me and I know she can tell that something is wrong. She puts the princess down and she runs to the lounge to continue watching her cartoon. "Hey baby, how are you?" I greet her, kissing her forehead. "I'm and how are you?"
"I'm managing," I reply, forcing a smile to mask the turmoil beneath the surface. As I lead her to the dining table, my mind races with how to convey the gravity of the situation, yet I cannot shatter the blissful bubble my family lives in. I make a mental note to speak with Lisa later, once our little one is tucked away in bed.

As we sit down, the aroma of the meal fills the room, momentarily distracting me from the nagging dread gnawing at my insides. Lisa starts chatting about her day, the mundane details grounding me, allowing a sliver of normalcy amidst the chaos. Yet, my thoughts drift back to the investigation that is being conducted and the visit I had from him; there's a chilling recklessness in his demeanor that unsettles me. How could he act so carelessly when everything is on the line?

Dinner flies by in a blur of laughter and animated storytelling from my daughter while my son's impending visit looms like a storm cloud. I catch glimpses of joy in Lisa's eyes as she engages with our child, but inside, I am calculating the odds—how long until the truth irreparably shatters this facade?
After dinner, I excuse myself under the pretense of cleaning up, but really, I need to breathe. I step into the bathroom, closing the door behind me, and steady my hands against the sink. Staring into the mirror, I hardly recognize the man I see—worry etched into my features, and uncertainty hanging heavy in the air.
"Calm down," I whisper to my reflection, "You need a plan." As the water runs, I envision every worst-case scenario filtering through my mind. What if the investigation uncovers connections that implicate not just me, but my wife? The thought sends shivers down my spine. They must be kept safe at all costs.
Just then, I hear my daughter's laughter echo from the living room followed by my wife's voice, soothing and patient. With each laugh, I remind myself why I must confront my fears—every obstacle surmountable if it means protecting them.

Finally, I take a deep breath and open the door, ready to embrace whatever comes next, for I know my family's future is worth fighting for. "Time for bed, little adventurer," I call out, pulling my daughter into a close embrace. She giggles, oblivious to the storm I must weather. As she scampers off to her room, I glance at Lisa, who meets my gaze with concern.

"I'll tell you everything after tucking in the princess," I promise silently as my heart races once more, knowing the weight of my truth will test our bond but hoping that together, we can face whatever lies ahead. Tonight, I have the resolve to bring light back into our lives, even if it means entering the shadows of my past once more. The last thing I need right now is to go to prison.