LUCHUMO left her abusive mother to the City where she founded real love .
LanguageEnglish
StatusCompleted
UpdatedApr 26, 2026
Chapters49
Content Warning: explicit_language
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Average: 4.1 (78 reviews)
Comments (16)
phelisa
Apr 26, 2026
Thank you very much. I'll do much better next time
Apr 26, 2026
Mxm! Haibo menzi wa bora
Apr 20, 2026
that’s great feedback❤️
Apr 20, 2026
I’m really enjoying the storyline so far it’s engaging and explores some deep, mature themes. I do have a bit of constructive feedback that might help take the writing to the next level.
At times, there’s a lot of dialogue, and it can feel a bit overwhelming or slightly simplistic in tone. When dialogue dominates too much without enough description or inner thought, it can make the story feel less immersive.
Readers who are used to more layered writing styles, like those from , often expect a balance between dialogue, narration, and emotional depth. Adding more internal reflection, setting details, and showing emotions through actions could really strengthen the scenes.
Also, making the dialogue sound a bit more natural and less formal would help the characters feel more real and relatable.
The concept is genuinely strong, so with a bit more depth and balance in the writing style, this story could become even more powerful. Looking forward to seeing how it develops!
At times, there’s a lot of dialogue, and it can feel a bit overwhelming or slightly simplistic in tone. When dialogue dominates too much without enough description or inner thought, it can make the story feel less immersive.
Readers who are used to more layered writing styles, like those from , often expect a balance between dialogue, narration, and emotional depth. Adding more internal reflection, setting details, and showing emotions through actions could really strengthen the scenes.
Also, making the dialogue sound a bit more natural and less formal would help the characters feel more real and relatable.
The concept is genuinely strong, so with a bit more depth and balance in the writing style, this story could become even more powerful. Looking forward to seeing how it develops!
Feb 19, 2026
Jealous is in the air
