My Hope Is Dead

You ever notice how when you lose someone you hold dearly to your heart; you tend to question God's existence or maybe that’s just me. Losing my wife made me question God and in the process I lost my faith in him because I didn’t understand why he would let her die after the endless prayers and fasting she and I went through. At some point in my life, I had hope, hope that things would be better, but he killed my hope and since then I’ve been asking myself one question; Is there even a God up there?