CHAPTER SEVEN
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lm still in my mother's embrace crying a river , she finally pulls out .
Her: ( sniffs ) and look at this , my grandchildren have grown . Come to granny .
they quickly jump on her .
Tiana : How are doing grandma .
Her : lm good baby , you are now tall . Martina what are you feeding the kids ? they are growing do fast .
Me : It's nothing , can we please get inside my feet can't carry me anymore .
Her : oh my lm so happy l forgot to invite you in , come in .
We get inside , as she shows the kids thier room . She even gives them some candy and trust me when l say as a parent l failed to put that smile on their faces as a parent .
Anyways l rest on the couch with my mother seating opposite me .
Her : So tell me , how are you .
Me : lm not okay mama
l say remembering the pain Kuda has put me through at this moment l feel like a used toilet paper .
Her : What happened , Kudakwashe wasn't treating you right .
Me : Mama kuda has been abusing me emotionally and physically , l just couldn't tell you when he started this behavior because l thought it's just a phase . When he went on abusing l then became afraid of being judged that lm failing my own marriage .
Her : My child are you hearing yourself ? Why would l judge you when you getting abused , l myself can't stand someone abusive even your father knew that . What kind of mother would l be lf l would let you stay in that relationship even after knowing that your husband is abusive . You know what lm glad that you are here now .
Me : It hurts mama l thought he loved me , l just miss the kuda l knew . The loving man he was before he even started to work . When it was just under a one roomed roof not caring about anything but us . He just changed as soon as he cleaned up , l became useless to him mama ...his punching bag . Mama is that what l was made for ?
Her : No my child don't do that , he is not worth your tears . Now that you are here you have to work on forgetting about him , you need to be strong for the kid's . They can't see you breaking , you need to stand and be strong okay ....do it for your kids Mwana wangu .
Me : l will try mama (sniffs) but l just wish everything could be easy and l just wish l can get my memory erased l just want to start afresh .
Her : Then what are you waiting for , go on and divorce him and you'll definitely be free from kuda's clutches . Remember my child , he doesn't own you and he'll never will . You are your own person , you can be a lot more without him besides you . Don't let him deceive you into thinking you are nothing , l gave birth to a strong woman Martina so be one us
Maybe l Definitely needed a wake up call hey .
Me : Thank you mama , you are the best .
Her : l know , please go to your room and freshen up . I'm sure you need to sleep .
Me : I'm so tired and l really need a nap , so yeah lemme leave you to your cleaning .
Her : okay child.
I disappear into my room ............
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