CHAPTER ONE
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l have my head rested on the couch as l listen to her ask me the same question over and over again .
Nina : Mr Moyo , lm asking this question for the fifth time .What did you do to your wife ?
l sit up straight rubbing my hands together , thinking about what l did . What did I do ?
Me : l hurt her , like l always do . l make her feel stupid as a woman and not to forget how she feels useless because of me . You know what hurts most is l do realize my wrongs but l just can't fix myself , l can't change who l am no matter how much l try my eyes will always wonder around looking for skirt's .
Nina : Oh l see , have you ever sat down with your wife and talked about this ?
she asks noting everything down with her pen .
Me : Yes and just when we think things are fixed , the war starts . The house becomes a battle ground , we exchange vulgar words . **** l just keep on hurting her . My kids witness everything , it's just messed up.
Nina : Have you noticed anything different about your wife from before you got married and to now after you got married .
l smile thinking about those days we were just boyfriend and girlfriend life used to be o easy back then . Falling inlove with your well groomed partner from the farms and having no problem with how she dressed. But within ten years of our marriage everything changed as soon as l got a job and being a well respect member of a church made me feel honored . My wife is the one who helped me , she cleaned me into being a well respect person that l am today but here l am breaking her every chance l get .
Me : Yes she is no longer that sweet vulnerable person l knew , she has grown to be a strong woman who fights back . Her first miscarriage made her stronger , l was at fault l stressed her a lot and l regret laying my hands and her .... letting my frustrations out on her .
Nina : What do you when when you saying she fights back ?
Me : We fight physically she no longer allows herself to be a punching bag .She has become a monster.
Nina: Okay thank you l think we should continue tomorrow and please make sure you show up .
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She's handed some tissue paper to wipe her tears but they're never enough to wipe her flowing tears. She has her legs crossed holding on tight to her hand bag .
Ethan : Should we continue , you know you could always come tomorrow or whenever you're ready .
she shook her head
Martina : No (sniffs )
Ethan: Okay , so can you please tell me how do you feel about your husband ?
Martina : l - l don't know , l feel hate . l just hate the person he has become .
Ethan : What kind of person has he become ?
Martina : A nightmare in my life he makes my life a living hell , every single day l come to realize that the man l thought he was isn't really him .No matter how much we try to fix things a leopard can never change it's spots .
Ethan : Then why are you not leaving ?
Martina : l love him okay , l know lm stupid for saying that but my heart keeps on betraying me no matter how much he hurts me emotionally and physically .On the other hand lm thinking of my kids they need both their parents .
Ethan : intresting , but don't you think you can start your life with your kids without him being in the picture .
Martina : l don't think l could , lve already spent ten years of my life with him in my life .He is all l know .
Ethan : Thank you Martina , we are done for today .
She walks out , as soon as she steps out of the door she grabs a cigarette and a lighter from her handbag . She lights up the cigarette taking one puff before she proceeds with her walk . It's the only thing that helps her keep calm , she knows where she is headed to a place she calls homes she's yet to feel the wrath of the man she calls a husband .
She walks until she arrives at the taxi rank , she joined in the line . The first taxi got full , do they had to go with the second taxi . 'Short left " she says indicating that she has arrived at her destination .
As the taxi comes to a stop she hops out closing the curb. The taxi drives off living s she about to walk towards the house Kudakwashe her husband was standing by the door with his arms folded . She swallows nothing proceeding to walk towards the house .
Martina : Hi .
she says not looking at him , she tries to pass but he grabs by her arm .She flinches as she feels the pain of her bruised arm , a beating she got yesterday as discipline just because she raised her voice at him .
Kuda : Where were you ?
Martina : no where .
She saying pushing him aside as she makes her way in , Kuda chuckles following behind .
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